Heavenly Pantoum

Daily Danjaruz Deliberation: If I am going to teach them, I ought to know what I'm talking about. I am experimenting with form folks, bear with me. "I'm an artist, and I'm sensitive about my shit"

Danjaruz Pantoum:
I believed God turned His back on me
It all began when I was eleven
I struggled with members of my family
While He silently watched from heaven

It began when I was eleven
That I slowly began to lose my mind
While He silently watched from heaven
My whole sense of being began to unwind

I slowly began to lose my mind
I wanted nothing more than to die
My whole sense of being began to unwind
When I woke up each morning, I would cry

I wanted nothing more than to die
One day I decided to run away
When I woke up each morning, I would cry
I decided my life should not be that way

One day I decided to run away
Seeking refuge in any place but home
I decided my life should not be that way
I knew I would be better off alone

Seeking refuge in any place but home
No longer trusting in God and the lies
I knew I would be better off alone
It was God I began to despise

I no longer trusted in God and His lies
I asked “How could you let this happen to me?”
It was my God who I began to despise
It was as if He left me alone…He simply let me be

I asked “How could you let this happen to me?”
No child deserves such pain and suffering
It was as if He left me alone…simply leaving me be
All I needed was love, peace, and comforting

No child deserves such pain and suffering
In that suffering, I was blind to the light
All I needed was love, peace, and comforting
And deliverance from my tortured plight


In that suffering, I was blinded by the light
He decided to rescue and save me from darkness
He delivered me from my tortured plight
I understood then, that my existence was never meaningless

He decided to rescue and save me from darkness
God has a plan for me in His world
I know now that my existence was never meaningless
I am a faithful woman, gone is the tortured girl

God has a plan for me in His world
I no longer struggle with my family
I am a woman of faith, no longer a tortured girl
Who believed God turned His back on me…