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Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Open Relationships

Danjaruz Depiction:


Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:Im opening myself to your openness, opening my legs to your open desire, you know I got you open, now just open your heart!

Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
hmmm open relationships... how wonderful would it be if people could function maturely in these types of situations? It would be great except none of you knucleheads is mature enough to make it happen.

The problem is, of course, that both people are not on the same page. One person has more feelings, one person sees more people, one person suddenly stops seeing others and wants more commitment, one person feels the need to sneak, etc etc etc.

"Open" relationships, in my opinion, are friendships that leave room for sex, without getting "weird". Two people care about each other,but are both mature enough to admit that they are not ready for monogomy. They know that they want consistancy and someone to spend time with, but they also know that their eyes wander, and they have other people they might want to kick it with too. Two people have to be of one accord to make a relationship like this happen. Too many times, you see people trying to lock each other down, for the sake of making sure they have someone to call when they are sick, need a ride, wanna go to the movies, need a date, want to exchange gifts with at special times, etc. but then want to sleep with other people
What these people need to realize is that regardless of age, they are not "relationship mature". You simply cannot have your cake and eat it too and expect to retain your dignity, safety, sanity, etc.

If women want to settle and be with a man who is doing other women, and continue to think she is in a real relationship, then let her delusional ass continue on!! If she enters into one with a man where they both discuss that we gonna do us together, but when we are apart, all bets are off, then fine, make it work.

Relationships take work, hard work, and too many people give up and go the easy routes. People who arent REALLY gay or bisexual, end up sleeping with people of the same sex, usually women who want to appear more "freaky" or attractive to their man. They know their man wants to see them with other women or enjoys threesomes, so in
attempts to keep the attention of their men, they engage in this type of activity.

One of the reasons I am not an advocate of the "swing" lifestyle (I do not knock it or judge, I just do not advocate it) is because I believe that when you make a committment to someone, you are committed to that ONE person. If you are married, you made a pledge to be faithful and honor your marriage vows/laws (which whether you
believe in God or not, were designed by organized religious beliefs, and turned into state laws). If you are not married, but in a committed relationship where you tell someone that you only love him/her and you are dedicated to him/her, you have no concrete reason to have sex outside of that. If the sex isnt good, work on improving
it or bounce. If the sex isnt enough, do NOT make that committment or leave the situation. If you are simply selfish and greedy, well then I say again, do NOT make that committment. If you are just a freak, be a freak, but realize that you are not at relationship maturity yet, so dont make the committment.

some of you might say, "well what if you really care about the person and you dont want to leave?" To that I say, obviously sex is SOOOO important to you that you NEED to have it, you MUST have it with other people. So if it is THAT damn important, it seems more important that your feelings and dedication to that person, so you
need to act accordingly.

Many of us are walking about claiming to be "grown ass" adults, when we really are immature children. Or at least we act like that when it comes to sex and relationships. Too many of us men and women let sex govern our lives. As if it is EVER that important! Not too many years ago, people werent having the open, unmarried, loose sex that we all engage in these days. We put so much importance and weight on something that no longer has any real value to us?? In what way does
that make any sense?


The last component of this very long post (lol) is children and disease. There are too many kids being born to unwed parents, born into single parent homes, born to women who have settled, born to women who are sleeping with someone else's man, born to women who love men who dont love them back, born to women who dont love the man they let hit it raw. How can you have children, but be walking around sleeping with every tom, dick, harry, jane, mary, and sue? What kind of Karma are you creating for your kids, and what type of example are you setting? Just because you dont bring the jump off around your kids, it doesnt mean your kids dont know what you are doing. I do not knock single parenthood at all. I am against irresponsible parenting and irresponsible single parenthood.

For every unplanned pregnancy is a potential HIV case, a potential herpes, gonhorrea, syphillus, chlymidia(sp?) case, and a damned irresponsible soon-to-be parent, hear me? Black and latino women are contracting HIV faster than anyone else in this world! 75% of all new HIV cases are black and latino women! I cannot reiterate this enough. This is not to just go ahead and blame men on the "DL" because its larger than that. It is about women settling, entering into "relationships" with men who are not being honest about their sexual exploits, it is about women not taking enough personal responsibility to make a man use a condom before having sex, it about women throwing lips to any dick that crosses their paths, its about people just being completely careless with their lives. How do you put on a condom when he is about to put his penis in you, but you put your lips on it, and take it into your mouth openly? What? You dont think you can get anything that way? And do NOT refute it ladies, because the proof is in the pudding. We are ALL very careless when it comes to sexual health. This is why so many of us are walking around with "smaller" STDs and kids following behind us.

Open relationships leave a LOT open... and when you open yourself up, physically and emotionally, you risk letting in the bad with what you perceive to be the good.


Danjaruz Haiku:
Can you be open?
Deny not your feelings love
Pry through my closed walls

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