She Think She All Dat!!!
Danjaruz Demeanor:
Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
"Here's the church, here's the steeple
Here's a muthafucka that I gotta blow away
Here's my chance 2 cure the ills of the people
But not until I make this muthafucka pay
And oh, baby I count the days
...
Great day in the morning
The choir sing a pretty song
Every day I'm with yo ass
is another day wasted, I swear its a day 2 long
I swear it's a day 2 long..."- Prince
*********
"People are strange when you're a stranger
Faces look ugly when you're alone
Women seem wicked when you're unwanted
Streets are uneven when you're down
When you're strange
Faces come out of the rain
When you're strange
No one remembers your name"- The Doors
Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
Im strange. Really, I am. Someone told me yesterday that I was "mental". That works for me; least it makes me different.
See, I would rather be different, than be like everyone else. They say imitation is the highest form of flattery, and by the looks of things, I should be feeling overwhelmingly flattered these days. *looking around* Instead, I'm bored. People are boring me. I mean to some degree people have always bored me, but lately, it has been more than usual. I mean, I have a few knuckleheads in my life who keep me in stitches, but others make my ass itch and make me want to yawn. Ok, so I know people are not puppets and the world isnt my own private stage, but I would like to see more action, more excitement, more intelligence? Naw, we will scratch the last one, because then I will be exposed to pseudo-intellectuals who "conversate"?
"Mines" are caves or bombs, folks, not a possessive pronoun. Use "mine" instead. "Irregardless" is ignorant, use "regardless" instead. I know y'all think Biggie was the Messiah but alas, "conversate" "conversating" and "conversated" are not words. Now back to our regularly scheduled blogging.
In appearance, I am different. I am different because I can flip styles in such drastic ways that people have to take second and third looks to recognize me. That is a beautiful thing. I am somewhat unpredictable. I do not have the "average" fat girl shape, which I would say is huge breasts, bulging stomach, small hint of hips, and a behind with a hump on the top. Some have even suggested that my former 42D, current 40D cuppage, is "small". Only in fatgirl land. I do not relax or straighten my hair, then wrap it so it hangs stringy around my face. I embrace my nappiness, even if it means only combing my hair once a week. I do not use MAC make-up or Chickengrease (Lip Glass) *D and M are gonna shoot me in T-5 minutes, big lipped heffas* I don't refer to myself as something "chocolate" "honey" "thick" or "diva". I hardly ever wear skirts or dresses, cuz I know I'm mannish. I have now 19 pairs of "blue" jeans. I love blue jeans and I can wear them to work. When I do wear a dress or skirt, I raise eyebrows and spark further interest. I love this effect. I have learned how to hit people with the surprise factor.
Believe it or not kind readers, there are people who think I am ugly. I will give you a minute to gasp and sputter at the pure insanity of such thought...
*breathe*
*patting you on the back* It is ok, I know.. I know... there there
*inhale slowly, exhale longer*
Yes, Virginia, there are people who think I am unattractive. 99.999999% of them are women, but in any event, these people do exist. I am going to start a 1-800-EYEDOC1 line for these people, because obviously, something is going on with their vision. Cataracts or sumthin... Hey, everyone is entitled to his/her opinion. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Yadda yadda yadda.
"Faces look ugly...when you're alone"
In thought, I am different. I think too much and I need a brain enema. Sometimes I think so much that sometimes, I cannot sleep at night. Sometimes, I am so distracted during the day by my thinking, that I cannot get much else accomplished. I have been living with A.D.D. for over a decade now. I'm used to that, but sometimes I admit, it does get the best of me. It is a blessing and a curse. A blessing because I can multitask, a curse because I don't give 100% to anything. A blessing because my thoughts are diverse, a curse because I cannot focus on one thing long enough to give it any merit. A blessing because I never bore myself, a curse because I get easily bored by the world around me.
In speech, I am different. I say a lot of things other people wish they had the nerve to say. I also have people shoving a lot of things in my mouth, but that is another story. I have very little tact, because when it comes down to it, do I really care about people's feelings? No. Ok, so again, we referrence the "knuckleheads", but they are a special group of people, so yes I care about their feelings...occasionally. One reason I think a lot of people don't like me is because they don't always see the humor in what I say. I tell people, 90% of what comes out of my mouth is in some way, shape, or fashion, a joke. Maybe I am the only one who gets it; that is definitely a possibility. But when you have lived the life I have lived, you can do nothing BUT laugh or you will go insane. I've gone crazy, more than once, it is sooooo anti-sexy; I do not recommend it.
I'm very vocal, however, I am working on understanding in what arenas I can be vocal and in what arenas I just need to sit back and absorb. In the past few months, I have had a couple of occasions where I have said one thing, and by the time it got to person number 3 or 4, (although I cannot grasp why it even left person #2 in the first place... but oh well) there was an entirely different story being told. Gotta love technology though; first rule of thumb when working with computers "SAVE YOUR WORK". It is a sad day when you realize you have to curb your own enthusiasm because you are surrounded by people with very thin skin. I've always been the abbrasive type, so people say, saying whatever comes to mind, never fearing that it might be taken the wrong way or that it might offend, etc. In the words of Eric Cartman, "What's the big fucking deal, Mr Garrison??"
In action, I am different. I have had people tell me repeatedly that I have done more in my quarter-of-a-century on this earth than most people twice my age. I personally feel that I have accomplished about 75-80% of my goals in life. This could be why I am so bored. Time to work on creating some new goals, I guess. I think finding the key to world peace is a lofty goal, but one I can work on. At least I know I won't get bored.
In attitude, I am different. A nice gentleman told me yesterday that my name has come up a few times in conversations (wait...what?), and women have said basically the same thing over and over. "She walks around like she is all of that" usually said with someone type of attitude or stankness. He basically was like, well yeah you can because you ARE all of that. While I do not purposely walk around thinking that I am all of that... Wait...yes I do LOL. I am not even going to lie to you kind readers. I know I am. Im fucking fabulous!! Take a minute to absorb that. *In through the nose, out through the mouth.* However, I am not conceited. Therein lies the difference folks. I do not think I am better than the woman standing next to me, nor do I have to insult someone else to make myself feel better. If I insult someone, it is for my own amusement or maybe for the chuckles of the knuckleheads around me. It does not make me feel better about myself, because I stand alone, removed from possible comparison to anyone else.
Some people cannot deal with this. They expect humility and modesty. They expect fat women to be humble and self-deprecating. Why bother when there will be so many OTHER fat brawds putting you down? You dont have to hate yaself. God forbid a 25 year old woman actually finish school on time, have no kids, work, and live on her own *gasp* And the bitch is gorgeous too? *shaking my head* Now I see why people can't seem to get it. I love myself, and I believe that all women should love themselves, and focus less on others. Pointing fingers and cracking jokes at the misery of others is one thing; that shit is FUN. Making comparisons between oneself and others, realizing that there are serious shortcomings, and coming down with the "She think she is all that" Syndrome, is another story.
"She think she all dat!!"
You stupid monkeys. You stupid, stupid, sorry, self-hating monkeys. You ought to stomp your foot, light a match, and proclaim with pride "Yes she IS all of that and then some!!!" When did someone having confidence become a bad thing? When did someone being good looking and intelligent become a bad thing? When did someone having a lot of things going well for them become a bad thing? Whatever happened to saying "congratulations" or "You go, girl!"? There are times I will be on the train or walking in the street, and I will see a bad ass sista, and I will go up to her and say something like "Excuse me, I just have to tell you, you are working it!!!" I do not preface it with the "I'm not gay" shit, because I dont care if she thinks I am or not. We as women are so conditioned to reject compliments and so used to not getting them from other women, that when we do, we assume homosexual tendancies. *Ive been called a lesbian a time or two...thousand*
Anyway I digress.
I'm weird, strange, mental, odd, crazy, "special", unique, beautiful, intelligent, funny, sentimental, sensual, sexy, engaging, proactive, revolutionary, productive, independent, successful, and most of all
I AM ALL THAT!!!
In the word of Dave Chappelle, "Bitches"
Im out!
Footnotes:
Missy-- (wait...what?)
K-- (one or two...thousand)
see, I give credit to the shit I bite...
Danjaruz Haiku:
Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
"Here's the church, here's the steeple
Here's a muthafucka that I gotta blow away
Here's my chance 2 cure the ills of the people
But not until I make this muthafucka pay
And oh, baby I count the days
...
Great day in the morning
The choir sing a pretty song
Every day I'm with yo ass
is another day wasted, I swear its a day 2 long
I swear it's a day 2 long..."- Prince
*********
"People are strange when you're a stranger
Faces look ugly when you're alone
Women seem wicked when you're unwanted
Streets are uneven when you're down
When you're strange
Faces come out of the rain
When you're strange
No one remembers your name"- The Doors
Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
Im strange. Really, I am. Someone told me yesterday that I was "mental". That works for me; least it makes me different.
See, I would rather be different, than be like everyone else. They say imitation is the highest form of flattery, and by the looks of things, I should be feeling overwhelmingly flattered these days. *looking around* Instead, I'm bored. People are boring me. I mean to some degree people have always bored me, but lately, it has been more than usual. I mean, I have a few knuckleheads in my life who keep me in stitches, but others make my ass itch and make me want to yawn. Ok, so I know people are not puppets and the world isnt my own private stage, but I would like to see more action, more excitement, more intelligence? Naw, we will scratch the last one, because then I will be exposed to pseudo-intellectuals who "conversate"?
"Mines" are caves or bombs, folks, not a possessive pronoun. Use "mine" instead. "Irregardless" is ignorant, use "regardless" instead. I know y'all think Biggie was the Messiah but alas, "conversate" "conversating" and "conversated" are not words. Now back to our regularly scheduled blogging.
In appearance, I am different. I am different because I can flip styles in such drastic ways that people have to take second and third looks to recognize me. That is a beautiful thing. I am somewhat unpredictable. I do not have the "average" fat girl shape, which I would say is huge breasts, bulging stomach, small hint of hips, and a behind with a hump on the top. Some have even suggested that my former 42D, current 40D cuppage, is "small". Only in fatgirl land. I do not relax or straighten my hair, then wrap it so it hangs stringy around my face. I embrace my nappiness, even if it means only combing my hair once a week. I do not use MAC make-up or Chickengrease (Lip Glass) *D and M are gonna shoot me in T-5 minutes, big lipped heffas* I don't refer to myself as something "chocolate" "honey" "thick" or "diva". I hardly ever wear skirts or dresses, cuz I know I'm mannish. I have now 19 pairs of "blue" jeans. I love blue jeans and I can wear them to work. When I do wear a dress or skirt, I raise eyebrows and spark further interest. I love this effect. I have learned how to hit people with the surprise factor.
Believe it or not kind readers, there are people who think I am ugly. I will give you a minute to gasp and sputter at the pure insanity of such thought...
*breathe*
*patting you on the back* It is ok, I know.. I know... there there
*inhale slowly, exhale longer*
Yes, Virginia, there are people who think I am unattractive. 99.999999% of them are women, but in any event, these people do exist. I am going to start a 1-800-EYEDOC1 line for these people, because obviously, something is going on with their vision. Cataracts or sumthin... Hey, everyone is entitled to his/her opinion. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Yadda yadda yadda.
"Faces look ugly...when you're alone"
In thought, I am different. I think too much and I need a brain enema. Sometimes I think so much that sometimes, I cannot sleep at night. Sometimes, I am so distracted during the day by my thinking, that I cannot get much else accomplished. I have been living with A.D.D. for over a decade now. I'm used to that, but sometimes I admit, it does get the best of me. It is a blessing and a curse. A blessing because I can multitask, a curse because I don't give 100% to anything. A blessing because my thoughts are diverse, a curse because I cannot focus on one thing long enough to give it any merit. A blessing because I never bore myself, a curse because I get easily bored by the world around me.
In speech, I am different. I say a lot of things other people wish they had the nerve to say. I also have people shoving a lot of things in my mouth, but that is another story. I have very little tact, because when it comes down to it, do I really care about people's feelings? No. Ok, so again, we referrence the "knuckleheads", but they are a special group of people, so yes I care about their feelings...occasionally. One reason I think a lot of people don't like me is because they don't always see the humor in what I say. I tell people, 90% of what comes out of my mouth is in some way, shape, or fashion, a joke. Maybe I am the only one who gets it; that is definitely a possibility. But when you have lived the life I have lived, you can do nothing BUT laugh or you will go insane. I've gone crazy, more than once, it is sooooo anti-sexy; I do not recommend it.
I'm very vocal, however, I am working on understanding in what arenas I can be vocal and in what arenas I just need to sit back and absorb. In the past few months, I have had a couple of occasions where I have said one thing, and by the time it got to person number 3 or 4, (although I cannot grasp why it even left person #2 in the first place... but oh well) there was an entirely different story being told. Gotta love technology though; first rule of thumb when working with computers "SAVE YOUR WORK". It is a sad day when you realize you have to curb your own enthusiasm because you are surrounded by people with very thin skin. I've always been the abbrasive type, so people say, saying whatever comes to mind, never fearing that it might be taken the wrong way or that it might offend, etc. In the words of Eric Cartman, "What's the big fucking deal, Mr Garrison??"
In action, I am different. I have had people tell me repeatedly that I have done more in my quarter-of-a-century on this earth than most people twice my age. I personally feel that I have accomplished about 75-80% of my goals in life. This could be why I am so bored. Time to work on creating some new goals, I guess. I think finding the key to world peace is a lofty goal, but one I can work on. At least I know I won't get bored.
In attitude, I am different. A nice gentleman told me yesterday that my name has come up a few times in conversations (wait...what?), and women have said basically the same thing over and over. "She walks around like she is all of that" usually said with someone type of attitude or stankness. He basically was like, well yeah you can because you ARE all of that. While I do not purposely walk around thinking that I am all of that... Wait...yes I do LOL. I am not even going to lie to you kind readers. I know I am. Im fucking fabulous!! Take a minute to absorb that. *In through the nose, out through the mouth.* However, I am not conceited. Therein lies the difference folks. I do not think I am better than the woman standing next to me, nor do I have to insult someone else to make myself feel better. If I insult someone, it is for my own amusement or maybe for the chuckles of the knuckleheads around me. It does not make me feel better about myself, because I stand alone, removed from possible comparison to anyone else.
Some people cannot deal with this. They expect humility and modesty. They expect fat women to be humble and self-deprecating. Why bother when there will be so many OTHER fat brawds putting you down? You dont have to hate yaself. God forbid a 25 year old woman actually finish school on time, have no kids, work, and live on her own *gasp* And the bitch is gorgeous too? *shaking my head* Now I see why people can't seem to get it. I love myself, and I believe that all women should love themselves, and focus less on others. Pointing fingers and cracking jokes at the misery of others is one thing; that shit is FUN. Making comparisons between oneself and others, realizing that there are serious shortcomings, and coming down with the "She think she is all that" Syndrome, is another story.
"She think she all dat!!"
You stupid monkeys. You stupid, stupid, sorry, self-hating monkeys. You ought to stomp your foot, light a match, and proclaim with pride "Yes she IS all of that and then some!!!" When did someone having confidence become a bad thing? When did someone being good looking and intelligent become a bad thing? When did someone having a lot of things going well for them become a bad thing? Whatever happened to saying "congratulations" or "You go, girl!"? There are times I will be on the train or walking in the street, and I will see a bad ass sista, and I will go up to her and say something like "Excuse me, I just have to tell you, you are working it!!!" I do not preface it with the "I'm not gay" shit, because I dont care if she thinks I am or not. We as women are so conditioned to reject compliments and so used to not getting them from other women, that when we do, we assume homosexual tendancies. *Ive been called a lesbian a time or two...thousand*
Anyway I digress.
I'm weird, strange, mental, odd, crazy, "special", unique, beautiful, intelligent, funny, sentimental, sensual, sexy, engaging, proactive, revolutionary, productive, independent, successful, and most of all
I AM ALL THAT!!!
In the word of Dave Chappelle, "Bitches"
Im out!
Footnotes:
Missy-- (wait...what?)
K-- (one or two...thousand)
see, I give credit to the shit I bite...
Danjaruz Haiku:
posted by MBT4679 at 3/02/2005 09:02:00 AM
3 Comments:
After reading your post...I realize now more than ever that you’re Pretentious, Pompous, and very very delusional.
If women have issues with you it is because of those reasons stated above. As I have experienced, women do suffer from the "Green Eyed Monster", but to say that they are in any way we think that you are all that because of the issues you addressed in your post is infantile. To describe yourself as different because you do not have the average "fat girl shape" or because you chose to wear your hair natural is asinine. To state that we think that you are all that because you do not have children and live alone...again asinine. And women thinking that you are ugly....You are not ugly as far as physically, but mentally...shit girl you are as ugly as they come...The delusions of grandeur are amazing.
I find you to be a woman that at 25 is so unhappy with her life that she has to tell you of her every accomplishment, so that she can still find herself a good person. That you are not. There is a saying that just because you are smart does not mean you have common sense. And you my dear, from your post...is missing the latter.
Get it together,,,or you will find yourself more alone that you could ever be right now!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for posting that comment, it is definitely appreciated. I welcome all opinions, disagreements, comments, whatever.
Can't please everyone :)
Who is this hating ass cowardly ho? For real. How does the saying go? "Hit dogs will holla." If I'm beefing with you, I'm coming to you as Melanie, not "kuhl", not "caramel" and DEFINITELY not "anonymous". What's asinine is having a problem with someone that you know personally and not bringing it to them personally.
By the way, ellipses are not commas.
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