Sure, I guess...
Danjaruz Demeanor:
Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
Should anybody ask for me
Tell them I'll be... right back
In a real short time
It's just that I lost my mind
I gotta find it
But once I hop on my train of thought
I'll get back to you, pronto
To collect myself
There's really nothing you can do to help
Don't wanna lose my focus
Well it's to late now
Cause I'm reminded
I wanna put it behind
But I'm behind it
Lord knows I'm tired
As much as I'd love to join you
On planet Earth right now
Know that I'm too hurt
Right now to be civilized
I need this time alone
Cause it won't be long
-Brandy "Focus"
Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
My head hurts and Im considering going back on medication. I am finding that it is even more hard to focus now than it has been in a very long time. I haven't been this scrambled in years. This is not the time to lose control of my thoughts. I am at too critical a juncture in my life to be stuck trying too hard to figure things out, instead of getting things done.
I either can't sleep or I sleep too much. I either can't eat or I eat too much. I either can't love or I love too much. I'm either insecure and self-loathing or too stuck on reveling in all that is great about myself.
When I'm humble, people think something is wrong. When I'm high strung, then I'm a bitch. When I'm quiet, people think I have an attitude. When I talk too much, people think I have an attitude. When I am modest, people laud me and tell me I should shout out and be proud. When I am proud, people tell me I'm not all that. When I'm hurt, and make it known, people think I'm seeking attention. When I'm hurt and keep it to myself, people think I'm not open enough.
When I don't care what people think, I'm an unapproachable bitch. When I do care what people think, then I'm stupid and weak. When I reach out to people, I come on too strong. When I stay to myself, then I'm avoiding people, which in turn pisses them off.
When I give love, I'm not loved in return. When I refrain from giving love, I become the most desired/loved.
Fuck it.
I'll shut up.
Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
Should anybody ask for me
Tell them I'll be... right back
In a real short time
It's just that I lost my mind
I gotta find it
But once I hop on my train of thought
I'll get back to you, pronto
To collect myself
There's really nothing you can do to help
Don't wanna lose my focus
Well it's to late now
Cause I'm reminded
I wanna put it behind
But I'm behind it
Lord knows I'm tired
As much as I'd love to join you
On planet Earth right now
Know that I'm too hurt
Right now to be civilized
I need this time alone
Cause it won't be long
-Brandy "Focus"
Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
My head hurts and Im considering going back on medication. I am finding that it is even more hard to focus now than it has been in a very long time. I haven't been this scrambled in years. This is not the time to lose control of my thoughts. I am at too critical a juncture in my life to be stuck trying too hard to figure things out, instead of getting things done.
I either can't sleep or I sleep too much. I either can't eat or I eat too much. I either can't love or I love too much. I'm either insecure and self-loathing or too stuck on reveling in all that is great about myself.
When I'm humble, people think something is wrong. When I'm high strung, then I'm a bitch. When I'm quiet, people think I have an attitude. When I talk too much, people think I have an attitude. When I am modest, people laud me and tell me I should shout out and be proud. When I am proud, people tell me I'm not all that. When I'm hurt, and make it known, people think I'm seeking attention. When I'm hurt and keep it to myself, people think I'm not open enough.
When I don't care what people think, I'm an unapproachable bitch. When I do care what people think, then I'm stupid and weak. When I reach out to people, I come on too strong. When I stay to myself, then I'm avoiding people, which in turn pisses them off.
When I give love, I'm not loved in return. When I refrain from giving love, I become the most desired/loved.
Fuck it.
I'll shut up.
posted by MBT4679 at 3/18/2005 11:24:00 AM
2 Comments:
This entry is Truth. (So much, in fact that I had to capitalize that shit!)
Just be you...
Im diggin your blog. I look forward to all that you write. Very interesting!!!!!
cho woods
www.chowoods.com
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