Weight log

So yesterday was bad. I had four fried chicken wings. What the hell is wrong with me?? I wasnt even hungry. I was mentally hungry, but not physically hungry.

What made me do it? I guess I have an emotional connection with food. I eat when Im alone and pensive. I eat because I feel like I need to have something in my mouth (hence why I was a smoker for 10 years).

I eat because I love the way food tastes. I used to sometimes chew food up, just to taste it, and then spit it out. Kinda sick isnt it?

After I ate last night, I tried to throw it all back up, but I couldnt make myself throw up. I felt like shit. I felt like a complete loser.

This morning I got up, jogged for 10 minutes, walked for 2 minutes. I did some serious weight lifting with my upper body. Im getting stronger because the old weights are getting easier to do.

I did the lat pull downs at 50lbs easy today. I did 3 sets of 15. Im going to try 60 lbs the week after next, see what happens.

I realized I was doing my tricep extensions wrong and corrected them today.

My bicep curls feel like the easiest things in the world with the 12lbs weights. I need to move up a pound or two.

its weird cuz my arms are beginning to feel hard, but still look flabby underneath. My legs muscles are getting stronger, but so much fat hangs around. As I lose weight, my skin sags and Im too poor to afford plastic surgery.

I had a protein shake this morning and my vitamins. For lunch I had a chicken salad club with bacon and a pickle. All water today, until later when I go out and drink. I need a drink. Too many people have pissed me off today.

I want a cigarette so bad, but I cant go back to that. I know Id get readdicted, as I am still very much in recovery. Stress is a mutha...

Blah... this sucks