Calling 2005!!
Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
Sitting up in my room, back here thinking about you, I must confess, Im a mess for you
Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
Ok so this has been a blah day. I could hardly sleep last night, so many thoughts traveling through my mind, so many feelings engulfing my heart, so many tribulations piercing my soul.
December is here, November is gone. November was a baddd month for me. So much negativity in my world, it was overwhelming. December began with rain, dismal and bland. See for me, the universe is the ultimate indicator. What is going on in the world usually reflects what is going on in the hearts and minds of men. We get from the universe what we put into the universe, and Im beginning to wonder how much of all of this is my own doing.
What have I put into the universe that has caused me to experience such negativity for the last few weeks? What is going on inside of my soul?
The sun is up, which makes me believe that the short early torrential rain symbolized the temporary nature of negativity. The new sun shows me that maybe it is over, and maybe I can begin again. With the end of each year comes promises of what we will and will not do in the coming year. I try not to make such promises because I will only disappoint myself if I fall short.
However this year is different. I need to promise myself a few things. I cannot allow myself to be guided by this heart of mine. My heart is so big, full of so much love. But it has consistently led me astray. My mind is the shield that has saved me from insanity, although I have been on the edge of reason many a day and many a night. The mind is a dam of sorts, protects the heart from experiencing and causing too much damage.
Time to let my mind work overtime. Keep my heart in check. Maybe I will mess up and miss out. But what am I really missing? Lonliness? Neglect? Disappointment? Pain? There is always love available, so I wont be missing that.
2005 is for me. Im just going to do ME. Put me first. Handle MY business. Make ME happy. Make decisions all for ME.
Yeah right. That isnt my nature. I care too much. I love too much. I need, too much. I want, too much. I want it ALL, everything, from everyone!!
Thank God for Sidebars and Reprieves!! Need those. Love those. Crave those. Woke up by myself this morning and was like "Whoaaaa, don't like this feeling, at all!!" Got to work on that...either work on not liking it, or work on making sure I dont have to wake up alone as often.
Danjaruz Haiku:
It's all about me
Ok, and maybe you too
Just be my reprieve
Sitting up in my room, back here thinking about you, I must confess, Im a mess for you
Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
Ok so this has been a blah day. I could hardly sleep last night, so many thoughts traveling through my mind, so many feelings engulfing my heart, so many tribulations piercing my soul.
December is here, November is gone. November was a baddd month for me. So much negativity in my world, it was overwhelming. December began with rain, dismal and bland. See for me, the universe is the ultimate indicator. What is going on in the world usually reflects what is going on in the hearts and minds of men. We get from the universe what we put into the universe, and Im beginning to wonder how much of all of this is my own doing.
What have I put into the universe that has caused me to experience such negativity for the last few weeks? What is going on inside of my soul?
The sun is up, which makes me believe that the short early torrential rain symbolized the temporary nature of negativity. The new sun shows me that maybe it is over, and maybe I can begin again. With the end of each year comes promises of what we will and will not do in the coming year. I try not to make such promises because I will only disappoint myself if I fall short.
However this year is different. I need to promise myself a few things. I cannot allow myself to be guided by this heart of mine. My heart is so big, full of so much love. But it has consistently led me astray. My mind is the shield that has saved me from insanity, although I have been on the edge of reason many a day and many a night. The mind is a dam of sorts, protects the heart from experiencing and causing too much damage.
Time to let my mind work overtime. Keep my heart in check. Maybe I will mess up and miss out. But what am I really missing? Lonliness? Neglect? Disappointment? Pain? There is always love available, so I wont be missing that.
2005 is for me. Im just going to do ME. Put me first. Handle MY business. Make ME happy. Make decisions all for ME.
Yeah right. That isnt my nature. I care too much. I love too much. I need, too much. I want, too much. I want it ALL, everything, from everyone!!
Thank God for Sidebars and Reprieves!! Need those. Love those. Crave those. Woke up by myself this morning and was like "Whoaaaa, don't like this feeling, at all!!" Got to work on that...either work on not liking it, or work on making sure I dont have to wake up alone as often.
Danjaruz Haiku:
It's all about me
Ok, and maybe you too
Just be my reprieve
posted by MBT4679 at 12/01/2004 12:58:00 PM
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