Cold Ass Weekend

Danjaruz Demeanor:


Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
Baby, it's cold outside...

Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
So I went to Baltimore this weekend to interview for the teaching residency program right. ASide from feeling like I banged the interview out of the box, I am cold. Im still cold from yesterday, even though I am nestled inside of my very warm apartment. I think my pubies have icicles on em. For real though, I still feel the chill.

So I leave Baltimore at 1:30, the last bus leaving to New York. I swear we were the lone Greyhound Bus on the road. This bus driver was determined to get us to New York. I was like ok, here we go. He has to stop at Baltimore Plaza, Wilmington, DE
and then on to NY. So we get to Bmore plaza and I followed my instinct and got some food. Greasy ass KFC, but it was food, dammit. Good thing, because that would be the last time I would eat for hours and hours and hours.

Bmore to DE is usually an hour, maybe 75 minutes. It took us 3.5 hours to get from Bmore Plaza to Wilmington. Why? Not a single snow plow on the streets, highways, anything. Our bus was making paths, paving the way for others to follow. We passed by stalled cars, watched cars swirving, even saw a tractor trailor in a ditch, the cab dislocated. I was so scared, and I started praying. I couldnt imagine this bus ending up in a ditch and my last meal being a greasy 2-piece from KFC.

So when we got to Wilmington, it seemed like all the stragglers from every previous bus decided to load onto our bus. Tell me something. Why is it when I tell people that I am 6-ft tall and have long legs, they feel the need to not only push their seats back, but fidget and bounce around, lean back and get comfortable? Why on MY knees??? Man my knee still hurts like hell, bastids. Oh and Why must people take the babies on long as trips? Package that sucka up in a box, poke some holes, and Fed Ex the baby to where you need to go. Dont bring the crying, shitting, drooling, gurgling baby on a long ass bus ride!!!

Ok so Im trying to relax, but then he is only able to really do like 20-30 MPH, which means that this is going to take forever. So he was like ok, We've got 150 miles left to NYC, so we will get there when we get there. Did I mention he was sardonic and fiesty as all hell? I mean he was funny, but I was like "Dude, focus on the road". So then he was like "Well if the turnpike isnt clear, Im turning around." People were like Awww hell naw, you are gonna keep on trucking buddy!! Luckily for us, the turnpike had some plowing done, so we were able to make up some time. We ended up at Port Authority at 8:30 pm, 7 hours after we left. It was then time for me to make it home.

I get on the train, take it to my stop and get off, stupidly thinking I'd be able to hail a cab. Yeah ok, not a cab available, and the ones who were, were trying to make big money, which I did not have. So I began to walk, through the snow, in dress shoes. I managed to hike to the nearest bus stop and I began to wait. I began to lose faith that a bus was coming, but there it was!! Glorious bus!! I got on and then transfered to another one. A few short prayers sent the buses much quicker than I anticipated. Got off the last bus, felt the urge to pee so strong I almost copped a squat in a snow drift. But alas, home was only a few yards away and I felt like shug Avery running to stop Celie from shaving Mr. I could see the building, rounding the curve, but I could also feel my "lips" quivering as I tried to keep the piss in. I made it to the building, then to my apartment, and yes, my bowl.

So now Im still cold. Yes, my house is warm, but my body is still chilled. I have on two tshirts and a sweater and some sweat pants, two pairs of socks and Im under the covers, yet Im still shaking a bit.

I need some sex...


Danjaruz Haiku:
Damn it's cold outside
I need some help keeping warm
At least my cat's warm