Road Trippin'
Danjaruz Demeanor:
Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
Locked up, they wont let me out...
...Peace to the brothers on riker's Isle!!!
Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
So today was weird. My first time at Riker's Island. Went to see him today, which was good because we needed to see each other, for different reasons though I am sure. We got to talk about business and things he needed me to take care of. We got to talk about a LOT of things, which was good because we agreed long time ago that communication is key.
It hurt me to see someone I care about in that situation. Even though I know it is only for a short time, it still hurts me to see someone without his/her freedom. I had to go through soooooooooooooo much to spend such a small amount of time with him. I got to the island about 8:30 am and didnt see him until after 11 am. All of that was processing, a million and one searches, take this off, put this one, open this, spread that. But it was worth it. I would have done that and a whole lot more for even 5 minutes of being able to look into his eyes and tell him that I love him and that I am here for him. I think he needed to hear that as much as I needed to say it.
Friendship is a beautiful thing. It can bring out the best of you. It can push you to your limits and beyond, forcing you to reckon with what you will or will not do for those you care for and love. He told me that he didnt want me to bend over backwards for him, but for me that doesnt register. When you care about someone or love someone, bending voer backwards is EXACTLY what you do. So when he sat there and said that he didnt want me to bend over backwards, it almost felt like he was telling me not to love him. I said this to him and he contested that, saying that wasnt what he meant.
See what I explaine dto him and what he does not understand, is that he deserves this treamtent. He deserves to have someone looking out for him. He tries to do so much for soooo many people, and he never looks out for himself. He has to begin to do that. He is in his situation now, partially because he was putting someone else's situation in front of his own responsibilities. But that is just who he is, and i doubt he will change, so he needs a friend like me to lavish attention on him, do for him, make him a priority. instead of sucking energy from him, and take take take, I give give give and unfortunately, he finds this hard to handle. Damn shame.
Anyway, I am going back next week. Im more prepared now, mentally. It wasnt as bad as I thought it was going to be, but it was no walk in the park. But I know I can do it again, no problem. Like I told him, I would do anything to help him.
That's what friends are for.
Im feeling better though, now that I have seen him and seen that he is ok. I can get back on track and get ready for this interview. I am very nervous about it, but I am hoping that I do well enough to get accepted into the program. We made an agreement about the program and what happens later, so I am going to try and keep my end of the bargain. We'll see.
Keep your head up baby.
Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
Locked up, they wont let me out...
...Peace to the brothers on riker's Isle!!!
Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
So today was weird. My first time at Riker's Island. Went to see him today, which was good because we needed to see each other, for different reasons though I am sure. We got to talk about business and things he needed me to take care of. We got to talk about a LOT of things, which was good because we agreed long time ago that communication is key.
It hurt me to see someone I care about in that situation. Even though I know it is only for a short time, it still hurts me to see someone without his/her freedom. I had to go through soooooooooooooo much to spend such a small amount of time with him. I got to the island about 8:30 am and didnt see him until after 11 am. All of that was processing, a million and one searches, take this off, put this one, open this, spread that. But it was worth it. I would have done that and a whole lot more for even 5 minutes of being able to look into his eyes and tell him that I love him and that I am here for him. I think he needed to hear that as much as I needed to say it.
Friendship is a beautiful thing. It can bring out the best of you. It can push you to your limits and beyond, forcing you to reckon with what you will or will not do for those you care for and love. He told me that he didnt want me to bend over backwards for him, but for me that doesnt register. When you care about someone or love someone, bending voer backwards is EXACTLY what you do. So when he sat there and said that he didnt want me to bend over backwards, it almost felt like he was telling me not to love him. I said this to him and he contested that, saying that wasnt what he meant.
See what I explaine dto him and what he does not understand, is that he deserves this treamtent. He deserves to have someone looking out for him. He tries to do so much for soooo many people, and he never looks out for himself. He has to begin to do that. He is in his situation now, partially because he was putting someone else's situation in front of his own responsibilities. But that is just who he is, and i doubt he will change, so he needs a friend like me to lavish attention on him, do for him, make him a priority. instead of sucking energy from him, and take take take, I give give give and unfortunately, he finds this hard to handle. Damn shame.
Anyway, I am going back next week. Im more prepared now, mentally. It wasnt as bad as I thought it was going to be, but it was no walk in the park. But I know I can do it again, no problem. Like I told him, I would do anything to help him.
That's what friends are for.
Im feeling better though, now that I have seen him and seen that he is ok. I can get back on track and get ready for this interview. I am very nervous about it, but I am hoping that I do well enough to get accepted into the program. We made an agreement about the program and what happens later, so I am going to try and keep my end of the bargain. We'll see.
Keep your head up baby.
posted by MBT4679 at 1/09/2005 08:21:00 PM
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