Why Women Suck

Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
Your energy, feels so damn good to me
It picks me up don't wanna come down
You got me spinning all around

Well I guess I'll see you next lifetime
Maybe we'll be butterflies
I guess I'll see you next lifetime
That sounds so divine


Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
Meet David* folks.

"i really can't put into words what i feel for u, but i hope u take something from this and cherish it the way i cherish u"

David loves me.
David is too young for me, but he loves me.
David would give me the world, if I would only let him.
David writes poems about and to me, he says the sweetest things.

"i know this michelle, but u dont have to watch urself around me, i'm a big boy...tryin to become a grown man...u don't have to baby me...i'm ur friend, first and foremost before anything else i'm ur friend. i've never judged u, i never would...no matter what, right or wrong, i got your back...but u have to trust in me, i know u dont trust me too much...and that i can understand, but i do love u michelle, i wouldnt just say that...i like you, as a person, and as a woman...i think u are incredible...but at the same time...i can only stay where i'm not wanted for so long..."

David lives a few hundred miles away (although from New York--he moved for college), has not finished college yet, and is just now moving into his own place.

David is a freaking youngin'!!! I cant even tolerate men my age, much less someone I have almost 4 years over.

David is more consistant than any man I've ever known, as he has carried something of a flame for me for a couple of years now. Yet, I push him away. While David dreams about me...

"...a few times u were there as a spectator, a few times u gave me some advice, once we argued, once u slapped me, once we were running from some people, once i was in an accident and u were there...but everytime we made up, either with a kiss, a hug...hot steamy rough sex...and TWICE we made love and you told me you loved me...lol, i know i was dreamin those times...lol..."

...I've wasted my thoughts on men who dont "do" Valentine's Day or men who think I love them "too much" or men who have absolutely nothing to offer me in return.

But see here is David, unwavering, unchanging David. As sweet as the day is long. And that is why I keep him away from me. I don't want my numbness to change him. He has this great love in him, these romantic notions of the beauty in love, and I do not want to ruin that for him. Seems like every time I try something new, it fails, so chances are, it has something to do with me.

I care about David entirely too much to even possibly subject him to anything involving me. He deserves so much more. Out there, there is some woman who can appreciate all of the beauty that is within him, all of the love he has to show, all of the romantic things he will do, the flowers, the poetry, the caresses, the longing.

David longs for me. Amazing...


*****:because i know there isn't a need for me in ur life, u are the type of woman that can have any man she wants, her choice of the pick of the litter, and when i get a chance i try so hard not to blow it i screw it up, kind of like i'm trying to justify myself and the importance of u havingme around
me: i cant have any man i want
me: if that was the case id be married by now
*****: i'd marry u
me: i know u would


See ladies, this is where we fuck up in the game. We have men in front of us, who are willing to be that "one", and go out of their ways to show and prove, and we are still stuck on stupid (or some stupid ass man). What is wrong with us?? Why do we chase losers? Ugh, and we wonder why men don't get us.

David, sweetie, you know I care about you. I'm just too fucked up in the head and heart to even go there. You truly deserve so much better than me. Some woman is going to make you SO very happy, I am positive of this. I'm a mess now, though. I couldnt be for you what you deserve, even if I truly wanted to. Love you sweetie.

*Kiss*
*-name has been changed to protect the very innocent and VERY shy lol

-Chelle