5 Topics for 05/05/05

Danjaruz Demeanor:


Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:


One...

Bombs over New York City...

What in the hell??? So ok, I have to laugh, cuz you know what? It is about to be OVER for us. This isnt funny in a "ha ha you stupid Americans" kind of way, but more like a "Ha ha oh shit we gonna die!"

Did they say two grenades exploded by the U.N.?
Did Bloomberg get on T.V. trying to downplay it? Talking about "yeah there is no reason for people to not come to work today in this area"

Can I slap him? Ok White people, go to work. Go ahead. Keep on keeping on.

Can Commissioner Kelly kiss my ass and be real for once? "Looks like some grenades from World Warr II that someone would keep on their desks"

*blank stare*

And y'all want to elect Hillary? LOL People say it should come down to Condi and Hill. Im like ok, if America elects a female president, this country will be leveled. LEVELED I say!!! From NYC to L.A., nothing but ashes and rubble.

Two...

Dancing Queen

so for now imma party like its ... wait in 1999 I was wilding out...ok so I'mma party like its 2009.



Danja [middle] getting her party on last Saturday
I had a great time this past weekend. Went to a party and had a lot of fun. I was focused on one individual, and he was focused on me. I got to see some folks I love hanging out with. I got to see some hellacious sights as well, but more fodder for my tomfoolery. LOL. Did he say "trunks"? Got my dance on, my drink on, and my QT on. Can't beat that with a bat.

Three...

She Who Struggles

OK so, they upped the bounty on Assata Shakur.
1) If you do not know who Assata Shakur is, I implore you to leave this blog, go to Google and research this extraordinary woman. Then come back and let us discuss.

2)Her bounty is now $1 million. They have labeled her a "terrorist", as dangerous as Osama bin Laden. Roman Polanski gets an Academy Award for being a pedophile. Assata Shakur gets slapped with a bounty and labeled a terrorist for fighting in the "struggle". Did she bomb anyone? Has she claimed to be responsible for the killing and destructions of hundreds or thousands of lives? My God...


("Assata" means "She who struggles")

3) Read her book, Assata: An Autobiography

Three Point Five (it is connected to Assata, who lives in Cuba)...

Socialism:

1. Any of various theories or systems of social organization in which the means of producing and distributing goods is owned collectively or by a centralized government that often plans and controls the economy.

2. The stage in Marxist-Leninist theory intermediate between capitalism and communism, in which collective ownership of the economy under the dictatorship of the proletariat has not yet been successfully achieved.

Yes, I am somewhat of an American Socialist. Though I am leaning more towards dropping the "American" element of it, because including "American", suggests that I endorse the capitalism that America was built, and stands, upon. It is times like this that I really hate this country. I mean it is crazy because people always say "well if you hate it so much, leave". That is always easier said than done, even
for people living in fascist, dictator-ruled countries. I am, however, allowed to express my disgust with the U.S. Government and its policies. I believe I am a Utopian Socialist, as I believe in the utopian ideology of Socialism, but I understand that human nature will never allow for it. Greed lives in ALL of us.


"In America where we remain a capitalistic free market society. Incrementally we're instituting social programs. Take note of the root word (socialism). Instead of a system owned collectively by the people, our system is owned privately but taxed mercilessly by the government for wealth re-distribution for our collective social good. I.E. Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, Welfare and Education. This
results in the American Socialism Model, better known as our social (ism) programs.

The socialism paradigm penalizes success and rewards mediocrity and failure."
from American
Socialism

Four...

Emmett Till

They are digging up Emmett Till's body. As my friend said, "I am so tired of this Picasso justice..." I think what happened to Mr. Till was a hellacious tragedy. It exemplified how many American cra...white people feel about Black people. There were confessions. We thought it was over. Now they want to re-open the case because
there are accusations that there were accomplices, Black accomplices. Wouldn't the cra... white people cling to this like they do to "well African sold other Africans into slavery, so it wasn't all our fault".

*moment of silence for this complete and utter discouraging bullshit*

"Twas down in Mississippi no so long ago,
When a young boy from Chicago town stepped through a Southern door.
This boy's dreadful tragedy I can still remember well,
The color of his skin was black and his name was Emmett Till.

Some men they dragged him to a barn and there they beat him up.
They said they had a reason, but I can't remember what.
They tortured him and did some evil things too evil to repeat.
There was screaming sounds inside the barn, there was laughing sounds out on the street.

Then they rolled his body down a gulf amidst a bloody red rain
And they threw him in the waters wide to cease his screaming pain.
The reason that they killed him there, and I'm sure it ain't no lie,
Was just for the fun of killin' him and to watch him slowly die.

And then to stop the United States of yelling for a trial,
Two brothers they confessed that they had killed poor Emmett Till.
But on the jury there were men who helped the brothers commit this awful crime,
And so this trial was a mockery, but nobody seemed to mind.

I saw the morning papers but I could not bear to see
The smiling brothers walkin' down the courthouse stairs.
For the jury found them innocent and the brothers they went free,
While Emmett's body floats the foam of a Jim Crow southern sea.

If you can't speak out against this kind of thing, a crime that's so unjust,
Your eyes are filled with dead men's dirt, your mind is filled with dust.
Your arms and legs they must be in shackles and chains, and your blood
it must refuse to flow,
For you let this human race fall down so God-awful low!

This song is just a reminder to remind your fellow man
That this kind of thing still lives today in that ghost-robed Ku Klux Klan.
But if all of us folks that thinks alike, if we gave all we could give,
We could make this great land of ours a greater place to live.

-"The Death of Emmett Till"
Bob Dylan


Five...

Black Widow

I haven't been blogging a lot lately because I have been busy outside enjoying life. Life is going quite well for the kid. I'm smiling a lot more these days. I'm dealing with the demons, fighting the negativity that always seems to linger near by. Remember the part of "A Beautiful Mind" where Dr. Nash sees his friend and his daughter, and keeps walking? The little girl talks to him, and he acknowledges
that she is there, but he doesn't respond to her. He keeps walking, understanding that she will always be there with him, a part of his mind, but that he has to keep moving because he has his life to live. He didn't try to deny her existence, he just kept moving.

For so long I have been trying to hide what has gone on with me. Ashamed of my life. Not wanting people to pity me. Not wanting people to treat me differently. None of that matters anymore.

"If I had to do it all again, I wouldn't take away the rain, because I know it made me who I am..."

So many things said about me. So many people not knowing me. So many people creating a persona FOR me. So many people wondering, guessing, surmising, postulating, imagining, wishing, hoping. Yet know nothing.

"They say what's happening, we say the facts, and then they lie...they say, but they don't know... They say...they say...they don't know"

They say I use men. I'm only out to get something quick, and move on. They say I'm a conceited bitch. They say I think I am all that. They say I look down at people. They say I'm ugly. They say I have a "history" with men. They say I'm a Black Widow. They say I've made my way through so many people. They say I'm full of shit. They say I'm a liar. They say I start drama. They say I'm a troublemaker. They say I'm self-centered.

I recently spoke with a couple of good friends of mine, both male, who put me on to a lot of things. Funny how far some people will go. Not that I had no idea what things people were saying about me. I am just always amazed at how far people go. If they only knew. Some of the things I hear, I WISH I rolled like that. I WISH I had the eventful life they think I do. I really don't. I used to think, "If more
people took the time to get to know me, the REAL me, they would never think the things they think". Now, I simply don't care. Fuck em. Now I have it in me to push buttons, hurt feelings, and keep it moving. I won't give into that though, because I am above such nonsense. One day, when someone embarasses them and tells them to shut the fuck up because they know NOTHING, they will realize, they had me incorrectly pegged.

Another friend said "You love being the center of attention; you crave it"

I realized, with that statement, that my "friend" doesn't know me. That is unfortunate. But maybe this is what he sees. Maybe this is what I show HIM, because deep inside I do not trust him any further than I could throw him. Or maybe he listens a little bit too much to people who don't know me. He has been known to take untrue words of others over those of his closest friends. Either way, I could either try and prove him wrong by allowing him more access to my thoughts and my private life or I could just move further away from him, as I have been doing over the past few months, and keep it moving. I'm thinking I'm going to go with the latter. It's so much easier. He doesn't WANT to know me. I know this. And, I wish I cared more, but I don't. For a while, I was somewhat bothered by how easily and the ways in which I dismiss people. Nowadays, I'm not. It is so much easier to just be like fuck it, whatever, than to say "hey cmon, pay attention to me".

A friend read my blog as asked why I didnt include one particular dream job in my list of top 5 dream jobs. I said because there is so much about me I tell no one. Or maybe only one other person. This stuff, nowadays, is fluff. Surface stuff. Stuff used to be deep, but is no more. I'm still not all that comfortable sharing my inner-most thoughts and dreams with people. The person I am most comfortable talking to is myself.

Carrying on...

I'm happy. I was on the phone with the Caramel Sundae last night, and ended up crying. I was crying because I am so happy. Finally. I am happy. I've unhooked the shackles that I have been dragging around for so long, and I am happy.

Thank you, God. You know what for.