The Good, The Bad, The Negroidian

I am not one to give in to stereotypes or to culturally stigmatize people because of previous notions regarding race, culture, etc. I think, in many ways, it is counterproductive and even self-destructive. For example: CPT... for those of you who have no concept of what these letters stand for, it is Colored People Time. This is a phrase often used by Black people to describe why other Black people tend to be late to things. They say it and laugh it off, or use it as an excuse as to why they cannot be on time to events. I don't buy into this nor do I accept it as an excuse, and I look at people sideways when they really believe in this nonsense. [Fact: People of other races and cultures have similar labels for their own people who always seem to be late to everything, so it isnt just Negroidian]

Anyway, I have to delve into the arena of Black people and stereotypes. I have to do this because I acknowledge that all stereotypes are born of some element of truth. Stereotypes are no more than hyperbolical and generalized truths. Let me tell you a story.

My boyfriend and I went to see the latest turn of A Soldier's Play by Pulitzer Prize-winning playwrite Charles Fuller [a man I had the pleasure of meeting and studying with when I taught the play as a seminar to a class of adult GED students]. The newest edition stars Taye Diggs, Anthony Mackie, James McDaniel, and other black actors [Black actors...man] and I wanted to see it because, well, Black folks doing stage plays that don't involve Madea or has-been R&B singers is something that I feel compelled to support. I've seen many plays, including Raisin in The Sun's revival, A Soldier's Play, Bring In The Noise, Bring In The Funk, Five Guys Named Moe, Sarafina, and I plan on seeing The Color Purple [even if I am not sure I agree with it becoming a Broadway musical]. I believe we have to support the positive things that each other put forth, especially when it is in a predominantly White arena.

Many people didn't even know that this show was being put on. Well, Black folks at least. The audience was 80% white... reminded me of a jazz concert. Whenever I go to a jazz concert or a Broadway show featuring mostly people of color, I am always amazed at how few people of color there are in the audience. There are issues like cost, as B'way shows and jazz concerts tend to be on the pricey side [but folks seem to be able to spend $100 a ticket for a hip hop concert ticket or $200 for some shoes]. There are issues of interest, as it seems nowadays coloreds are far more interested in Madea going to jail or Eric Jerome Dickey's books being turned into stage plays than they do about the classics. There are issues of dissemination of information, as we don't always hear or see ads of these types of shows on urban radio stations or in urban magazines. It seems that many of our people are unable to receive information about important, positive things going on within our community, yet we can guarantee that we will be flooded with the negative [Get Rich Or Die Trying anyone?] It seems, from my experience, that a certain type of negro will be in attendance at said shows, and, more than likely, it won't be the colloquial negro.

Even with that said, Negroes is Negroes is Negroes. We are seated in the third row from the stage, waiting for the show to begin. Broadway shows begin on time, regardless of the race of the people in the show. Obviously, that memo didn't reach everyone. Several minutes into the show, we hear some people walking down the aisle towards their seats, which were in the second row. All I remember thinking was "please dont let them be Black", but they were. And they proceeded to talk during the show, itneractively, as though they were paid audience members. I was like, this is not the Chitlin circuit and the "hmph"s, "amen"s, and "oooh child"s are not acceptable behavior.

I hate myself for even thinking that way. I hate that it even comes across my mind that, because it is the Great White Way, certain behavior that would acceptable on the Chitlin Circuit is usually unacceptable there, but c'mon man, it isnt!! Some shows call for audience interaction and participation, while others do not. A show like Five Guys Named Mo or Mama Mia would encourage audience sing-a-longs and participation, and they let you know this. A show like A Soldier's Play or Frankie & Johnnie are not the right setting for that.

Is it about impressing white folks, is it about self-hate, or is it about something else? What is this sense of embarassment that overcomes me when I see my people acting certain ways around White people? why don't I feel that same embarassment when they act like that around their own kind? Not that I dont feel like they are fools anyway, but there is a certain feeling that makes me cringe when I bear witness to my people acting the fool. Some might say they are just being who they are, but damn is who they are enough? Is it acceptable? Why do we accept sub-par behavior from coloreds simply because they are Black?

The play that we saw was so relevant to what he and I ended p discussing. The main point of the play speaks to the inner conflict that Black people in this country have between "keeping it real" and staying true to their cultural roots and transcending the limitations placed on Black people. It is about finding the balance between having cultural pride and being able to navigate through the mazes of this White country. It is about how Black folks who try to run away from their pasts, run away from the reality of their history because they find it embarassing or limiting, and what running away does to a person. It is about the conflict between different types of Black people, people from different regions, different classes, etc. It is about what happens when self-hate boils over.

I remember sitting there thinking, "why must we always be late??". I remember going to the movie after the play and towards the end, a Black couple busts in unceremoniously loud and bustling, creeping to find a seat so they could get a free movie viewing. I remember feeling embarassed, because I knew the majority of the audience was White, and they were so loud, and they looked like Ceephus and Reesie. I was embarassed because after they came in, there was a group of Black men by the door contemplating coming in, but they had to do so outloud... quite loudly at that. People were looking towards the door and making signs of obvious frustration and I know I was pissed as well. I was like, "why does it have to be us?"

I get embarrassed when I hear people using the N-word every other word, as loud and obnoxious as possible, in public places, especially around White people. It makes me cringe and I feel that association with them, because of my race and thus embarrassment. I feel like White folks will lump me into the same category as them, and I feel the need to disassociate myself. But why? Do I find the bahvior abhorrent simply because they are Black or is there some other reason? Do I think I am better than they are? In some ways, yes, I do. But I also know that there are people far better than me. I feel like I judge their Black books by the same covers that White people judge them by. My issue is whether or not this is right or wrong. Should we not hold each other up to higher standards? Should we not expect more or demand more from each other? Why do we accept the mediocre, the average, the sub-par? Why do we think it is ok to embarass ourselves in public?

Why do people look at me sideways when I wear a UPenn shirt? The same reason the look at me sideways when I wear a "I [heart] Being Black"? [We arent supposed to have pride in being Black...rather we are supposed to be doing everything we can to NOT be common jungle bunnies, but not so much that we begin to infringe on THEIR spheres] Why do I feel that I am more threatening to White people when I am not calling everyone around me a "nigga" or walking next to a man whose pants are below his behind or blasting the latest 50 joint from my car? Why do I feel I am more threatening when I am sitting on the train in a UPenn shirt reading a sociological text or carrying on a conversation in perfect American [yeah, folks, no one here speaks English]? Why do I feel that White people are more comfortable with the stereotpical negro than they are with the negroes like me who have been able to somewhat transcend the labels and the prejudices?

I am so much in love with being Black. I have so much pride in my heritage and I accept a lot of the bad with the tremendous amounts of good. But there is such a thing as tough love and that tough love comes from the most genuine depths of true love. It is loving something enough to criticize it and offer it ways to improve it. It is loving something enough to not accept the elements of it that are disgraceful. It is loving something enough represent it in its best form and to continously strive to make it better. That is how I feel about African peoples across the world. And not unlike Seargent Waters, I feel that we hold ourselves back when we limit our growth potential by subscribing to beliefs that we don't need to change or evolve. We limit ourselves by behaving in ways that are degrading and demeaning to ourselves and each other. We limit ourselves by making no progress, by being content with the status quo, and by making excuses as to why we go nowhere.

An example: There are some people who get mad when other people criticize their spelling errors or grammatical mistakes. They really get irate!! They tell people that they have no right to critique them or point out their errors. If they didn't make the errors in the first place, would there be anything to critique? Instead of welcoming the correction and taking it as a way of improving themselves, folks reject it, call it "hate" and continue on in their blissful ignorance. I have read some blogs, some "urban" books, even some magazine articles [in a few lesser-known urban pubs] that made me cringe with the level of errors made. Why are so many people content to be unable to distinguish between "wear" and "where" and "were" or "there" "their" and "they're" or "waste" and "waist"? Why have we not grasped that "conversate" sounds ignorant? Why do we not understand how terrible "irregardless" sounds? Ebonics be damned, I do not subscribe to that nonsense. Slang is one thing, being unable to speak American is another. It troubles me to no end because I feel, as a writer, that my art, my craft, is being completely botched and massacred by people who don't even want to try to be good or get better. We seem to be content with the status quo and it is why we are where we are and why we will not get much further than where we are.

Questions for discussion:

How did you spend your Thanksgiving Day off? [lol irrelevant, yes I know]

Can you think of a time when you have felt completely embarassed by other Black people? If so, share.

Am I being pretentious? Am I wrong? If so, tell me how you feel if you disagree.

What are your feelings about Black folks and where so many of us are?