I [Heart] Jeb

Danjaruz Demeanor: Elated

Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
Couldn't we be here happily ever after...

Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
This will be one of the very FEW blogs that allow you to have a peak into my private life and my relationship with the man you all affectionately know as Jeb (for the record, his name isnt really "Jeb", but that's his blog alias). Why am I sharing this now? Because it is the universally accepted day of love, and a lot of my readers have mixed feelings about love and relationships and what not. I wanted to share a short story with you. It is a story that reflects strength, endurance, a special bond, and most important , Love... Enjoy *****************************************************************************At 4:40, he called her to tell her he was on his way. It was February 13, Black Love Day, and they'd made plans to go out to dinner on this night, rather than on Valentine's Day, so she was excited. About 20 minutes later, he sent a text message saying he was stuck in traffic and asked her to be patient. She emailed one of her best friends to express her anxiety, inquiring if he had told her anything about his plans. Her friend said that he had not, and the butterflies continued to flutter. At about 5:15, he calls her to tell her that he is outside of her job.

She gathered her things and went downstairs and as she looked through the windows, she did not see the image of the GMC Envoy they normally drive. Opening the door, she sees a Black stretch limousine with a man in a tuxedo standing outside. She looks around for the Envoy, not quite catching on that the ride is for her. The man in the tuxedo opens the door and she sees her man inside, waiting for her, so she walks over, blushing, and enters the car. Hugs are exchanged, WOWs are expressed, and she was beside herself, it was romantic; a nice touch for the evening.

They enjoy a ride to the Kips Bay section of Manhattan to her favorite restaurant, a little place tucked away called Sahara's Turkish cuisine. They go inside and there is no one there but them, and she wonders if he planned it that way. They eat a wonderful meal of kebabs, rice, veggies, hummus, calamari, and fresh baked bread, and she revels in the romance of it all as passersby look in and smile at them. They then leave and head back uptown, all the while she is thinking that they were headed home. She is so high from the wonderful dinner and the romantic car ride, that she barely notices that they aren't headed home.

Instead, they are headed to the very park (Marcus Garvey park) that they used to go to when they first begna dating. It was the spot where he fell in love with her. He walks her through the snow and ice to the very steps they sat on, first listening to ole skool hip hop on his iPod, dancing, making jokes, getting to know each other, the same steps where they wondered what would become of them because they were both so scared... He talks about how important the park is to him and to them, and there is a nervous tremble in his voice. He turns her to face the bench they once sat on when she almost left him... she almost walked away because she was terrified of falling for someone again after being hurt so many times... She turns back around he is on his knee with a box open...He asks her if she would agree to be wife his and spend her life with himTears fall...laughter comes... more tears, they hug, and she agrees... He slips the ring on her finger and she feels like the most beautiful, special, amazingly loved woman in the world... They get back into the limo and head home.

He gets out ahead of her, as he forgot the receipt for the limo driver. He comes back down and gets her and they go home. Upon entering the apartment, she sees that he has set up a long line of candles on the floor leading the to the bedroom. She follows the candles and sees that he has purchased new linens, has humg up a sign that reads "I Love You" on the head board, and has set up the night stand with a bottle of sparkling cider, two classes, and a box of her favorite chocolates. She is once again amazed... They toast to their family, and she sips, reveling in her imagination of the life she is going to have with this wonderful man... The End.

Danjaruz Haiku:
You'll be my husband
And I'll be your loving wife
Forever...always

Adoption

OK so as we get off at the next exit, and take a turn in a different direction, I want to bring up a new topic.

Let me preface it by saying that the reason this is an important topic to me is because it is at the heart of one of my passionate goals in life. That goal is to own and operate a loving, stable house for foster children, one that has the capacity to house at least 6-8 children at a time.

This has been something I have wanted to do ever since I was in grade school when I found out that my best friend, Ganida, had been bouncing in and out of foster care. Her and her sister moved from home to home, occasionally living with their grandmother. Their 8 month pregnant mother was strangled to death by their father when he found out that the baby was not his. Mom died, dad went to prison, and to foster care they went. I learned all of this in the 2nd grade. Since then, I have known that one day, I am going to open a home to children in need, and knowing my bleeding heart, I'll end up adopting some.

Today's Topic: ADOPTION

Let me just hit you with some stats first:

From www.adoption.com:

**Hispanic populations are more likely (54 percent) to consider adoption than African-American (45 percent) and White populations (36 percent) – though African-Americans are most likely to consider adopting a child who has been in foster care for a few years.

**Nearly 40% of American adults, or 81.5 million people, have considered adopting a child. If just one in 500 of these adults adopt, all of the 134,000 children in foster care waiting for adoption would have permanent, loving families, according to the new National Adoption Attitudes Survey.

**One in two Americans say that the cost of adoption is a major concern. Adoption cost issues worry almost half of middle income Americans (45 percent) (those earning from $25,000 to $99,000) who comprise the majority of American households, as well as over half (52 percent) of lower income Americans. This concern exists despite a $10,000 federal adoption tax credit, low-to-no cost foster care adoptions and growing employer benefits.

**Based on current AFCARS estimates released January 2000, there are approximately 520,000 children currently in foster care in the United States. Of these, 117,000 are eligible for adoption. (US HHS, 2000)

**The most recent estimates, which include intercountry adoptions, found that 8% of adoptions were transracial.


**between 2% to 4% of American families include an adopted child

Did you know that in 1972, The National Association og Black Social Workers strongly opposed trends towards transracial adoption?

From http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1053/is_n5_v19/ai_9357976

**Today, 61.2 % of all black children are born to unwed mothers. (3) According to Marian Wright Edelman, President of the Children's Defense Fund, a black teenager is twice as likely to become pregnant as a white teenager and five times as likely to become an unwed parent.

**Despite this high level of unwed pregnancy, the black community has a very low percentage of girls choosing formal adoption for their babies. In fact, the percentage is statistically insignificant at less than 1%.

**The most significant barrier to a young black mother making an adoption decision is that relinquishing a newborn is not readily accepted within the black cultural milieu.



Let me just rattle off some of my views on adoption in general, as it relates to Black folks, and as it relates to me.

I believe that adoption is natural to communal groups of people. In other words, I think the less individualist a group of people are, the more likely they are to consider adoption a natural course of action. I think African people are, by nature, a communal people. Africans in America, however, have been forced to assimilate to an individualistic, capitalist society which discourages helping the fellow man and encourages self-sufficiency and success. Because we exist in this country, we have somehow lost touch with what it means for us to be a communal people who look out for each other, help each other, support each other, and take care of each in ways that go above and beyond the common call of duty.

I think every family in this country ought to open their homes to a child without a home. That is a very firm belief of mine and I will stand by it forever. I do not care what tax bracket the family exists in [though I think the more money a household has coming in, the more likely they should be to adopt a child], I do not care if it is single parent, two parents, married, gay, straight, Black, White, Latino, Christian, Muslim, whatever. Every family should open their home to a child in need. The stat said that of the 81.5 million people who say they considered the idea of adoption, if 1 out of every 500 of them actually did it, there would be no children waiting to be adopted. Amazing isnt it?

Many of us Negroes know informal adoption very well. Some of us were raised with a cousin who was like a brother because his mother was unable to care for him. Some of us had a play cousin, who lived with Grandma and not her parents, but wasnt directly related to our family. Those of us who grew up very close to the poverty line know what it means to live in a crowded home with several extended family members being taken in because they have nowhere else to go. We know this; this is who many of us are. In a 1977 study, it was determined that 13% of Black children lived in an informally adoptive situation.

Some Negroes have even gone so far as to open their homes to foster someone else's child, maybe even a stranger's child, and receive a check from the government to do so. Hell, some of us have done that JUST to get the check, but that is another story. Some of us have heard our friends tell stories about the kids who come in and out of their homes, and we eventually realized it was because their mother or parents were fostering other children. At some point, I believe we have all had a connection with the foster system or informal adoption.

Though studies prove that Black families formally adopt children at the same rate as Whites, this is disproportionate because there are a disproportionate number of Black children awaiting adoption, and it would take Black families adopting them at a rate 4x times greater than what they are doing to keep up! [This is just accounting for non-transracial adoption]. This isnt happening because although "Healthy black babies, like white babies, get adopted quickly... older black kids in foster care, having been removed from their parents, often encounter greater difficulty in getting adopted. Many parents fear adopting older children since they didn't bond with them when they were young. Others fear some children may have mental or physical problems." (http://capmag.com/article.asp?ID=4153)

They say the reason that there are so many Black kids in foster care is because the Black single parent family rate is twice that of any other racial or ethnic group in this country. Only recently have single people been allowed to formally open their homes to foster or adopt children, and even still, there are huge barriers facing these desires to help. Put it to you this way:

--Black folks discourage each other from putting their children up for formal adoption, for various reasons mostly based on stereotype and ignorance. Therefor, we have higher single parent households, higher percentages of young people having kids and keeping them, etc. Rather than encourage parents of unwanted or unplanned pregancies to consider adoption as a viable option, we stigmatize it and inadvertantly contribute to higher rates of out-of-wedlock births, more children being forced to live in poverty [approximatly 70% of all black children under age 6, born to unwed mothers, live in poverty], less kids graduating high school, and other problems that plague our community. There is something about not giving up our own, as studies show, many unwed Black mothers liken it to slavery conditions or "selling" one's child to white people.

--The higher one's goals in life, the more likely the chance of giving a child up for adoption. Studies found that unwed mothers who have high career goals, who dont opt for abortion, are more likely to put their children up for adoption either formally or informally. When one is born into a cycle of poverty and one has no real role models to strive for excellence, one might not carve out high goals for oneself, not believing that there is much more to life than what one knows. If everyone around you is having babies young and dealing with it, you might end up doing the same.

--Black folks look at adoption like somethign is wrong with it. Not all, but many do. Even my own father was like "yeah but that won't be my REAL grandchild". There is a stigma attached to formally taking in a stranger's child, but it is perfectly acceptable to take in someone from your own family. This is NOT the African way! We have become so sanitized and so selfish, it disgusts me at times.

What happened to US doing for US? What happened to us being our brothers' and sisters' keepers? What happened to picking up the slack. MANY of us are descendants of "families" that were bought and sold and manufactured together in slave quarters. Many of our ancestors took in another woman's child who had recently been purchased and raised that child as his/her own. Why have we lost that spirit? Do we feel the need is any less great? OUR children are the ones left stumbling around the foster care system at greater rates than anyone else. OUR children are the ones falling between the cracks. OUR children are the ones who have to fight harder than any child should have to fight just to reach the age of 18.

My last comment is for the pro-lifers. You might be offended but I could care less. If you are pro-life, over the age of 25, have a stable job and home, and you do NOT foster children or you have NOT adopted a child, I do not want to hear a single, solitary peep about any of your pro-life rhetoric. There is nothing worse than people who talk shit all the time and do nothing to put their money where their mouths are. You see all of these people protesting abortion, talking about how a fetus is a child and abortion should be illegal, but how many of them have foster children or have adopted children? Just given the adoption rates alone, we know not many of them do. THEY should be the FIRST people to line up to take in unwanted children.

So yeah, I plan to adopt at least one child and I plan to open a home later in my life to kids who need a stable, loving foster home. That will be my contribution to our people.

Discussion Questions:

1. Do you consider adoption a real possibility in your future? [Or have you adopted a child?] Be honest. If yes or no, explain why.

2. Have you or has anyone close to you ever been involved in the foster care system or been adopted? What are some of the experiences?

3. What do you think are reasons why Black folks are not more into adoption than they are?

4. How do you feel about transracial adoption?

5. How do you feel about gay couples adopting?

So In Love

Me and my boobie....

The Good, The Bad, The Negroidian

I am not one to give in to stereotypes or to culturally stigmatize people because of previous notions regarding race, culture, etc. I think, in many ways, it is counterproductive and even self-destructive. For example: CPT... for those of you who have no concept of what these letters stand for, it is Colored People Time. This is a phrase often used by Black people to describe why other Black people tend to be late to things. They say it and laugh it off, or use it as an excuse as to why they cannot be on time to events. I don't buy into this nor do I accept it as an excuse, and I look at people sideways when they really believe in this nonsense. [Fact: People of other races and cultures have similar labels for their own people who always seem to be late to everything, so it isnt just Negroidian]

Anyway, I have to delve into the arena of Black people and stereotypes. I have to do this because I acknowledge that all stereotypes are born of some element of truth. Stereotypes are no more than hyperbolical and generalized truths. Let me tell you a story.

My boyfriend and I went to see the latest turn of A Soldier's Play by Pulitzer Prize-winning playwrite Charles Fuller [a man I had the pleasure of meeting and studying with when I taught the play as a seminar to a class of adult GED students]. The newest edition stars Taye Diggs, Anthony Mackie, James McDaniel, and other black actors [Black actors...man] and I wanted to see it because, well, Black folks doing stage plays that don't involve Madea or has-been R&B singers is something that I feel compelled to support. I've seen many plays, including Raisin in The Sun's revival, A Soldier's Play, Bring In The Noise, Bring In The Funk, Five Guys Named Moe, Sarafina, and I plan on seeing The Color Purple [even if I am not sure I agree with it becoming a Broadway musical]. I believe we have to support the positive things that each other put forth, especially when it is in a predominantly White arena.

Many people didn't even know that this show was being put on. Well, Black folks at least. The audience was 80% white... reminded me of a jazz concert. Whenever I go to a jazz concert or a Broadway show featuring mostly people of color, I am always amazed at how few people of color there are in the audience. There are issues like cost, as B'way shows and jazz concerts tend to be on the pricey side [but folks seem to be able to spend $100 a ticket for a hip hop concert ticket or $200 for some shoes]. There are issues of interest, as it seems nowadays coloreds are far more interested in Madea going to jail or Eric Jerome Dickey's books being turned into stage plays than they do about the classics. There are issues of dissemination of information, as we don't always hear or see ads of these types of shows on urban radio stations or in urban magazines. It seems that many of our people are unable to receive information about important, positive things going on within our community, yet we can guarantee that we will be flooded with the negative [Get Rich Or Die Trying anyone?] It seems, from my experience, that a certain type of negro will be in attendance at said shows, and, more than likely, it won't be the colloquial negro.

Even with that said, Negroes is Negroes is Negroes. We are seated in the third row from the stage, waiting for the show to begin. Broadway shows begin on time, regardless of the race of the people in the show. Obviously, that memo didn't reach everyone. Several minutes into the show, we hear some people walking down the aisle towards their seats, which were in the second row. All I remember thinking was "please dont let them be Black", but they were. And they proceeded to talk during the show, itneractively, as though they were paid audience members. I was like, this is not the Chitlin circuit and the "hmph"s, "amen"s, and "oooh child"s are not acceptable behavior.

I hate myself for even thinking that way. I hate that it even comes across my mind that, because it is the Great White Way, certain behavior that would acceptable on the Chitlin Circuit is usually unacceptable there, but c'mon man, it isnt!! Some shows call for audience interaction and participation, while others do not. A show like Five Guys Named Mo or Mama Mia would encourage audience sing-a-longs and participation, and they let you know this. A show like A Soldier's Play or Frankie & Johnnie are not the right setting for that.

Is it about impressing white folks, is it about self-hate, or is it about something else? What is this sense of embarassment that overcomes me when I see my people acting certain ways around White people? why don't I feel that same embarassment when they act like that around their own kind? Not that I dont feel like they are fools anyway, but there is a certain feeling that makes me cringe when I bear witness to my people acting the fool. Some might say they are just being who they are, but damn is who they are enough? Is it acceptable? Why do we accept sub-par behavior from coloreds simply because they are Black?

The play that we saw was so relevant to what he and I ended p discussing. The main point of the play speaks to the inner conflict that Black people in this country have between "keeping it real" and staying true to their cultural roots and transcending the limitations placed on Black people. It is about finding the balance between having cultural pride and being able to navigate through the mazes of this White country. It is about how Black folks who try to run away from their pasts, run away from the reality of their history because they find it embarassing or limiting, and what running away does to a person. It is about the conflict between different types of Black people, people from different regions, different classes, etc. It is about what happens when self-hate boils over.

I remember sitting there thinking, "why must we always be late??". I remember going to the movie after the play and towards the end, a Black couple busts in unceremoniously loud and bustling, creeping to find a seat so they could get a free movie viewing. I remember feeling embarassed, because I knew the majority of the audience was White, and they were so loud, and they looked like Ceephus and Reesie. I was embarassed because after they came in, there was a group of Black men by the door contemplating coming in, but they had to do so outloud... quite loudly at that. People were looking towards the door and making signs of obvious frustration and I know I was pissed as well. I was like, "why does it have to be us?"

I get embarrassed when I hear people using the N-word every other word, as loud and obnoxious as possible, in public places, especially around White people. It makes me cringe and I feel that association with them, because of my race and thus embarrassment. I feel like White folks will lump me into the same category as them, and I feel the need to disassociate myself. But why? Do I find the bahvior abhorrent simply because they are Black or is there some other reason? Do I think I am better than they are? In some ways, yes, I do. But I also know that there are people far better than me. I feel like I judge their Black books by the same covers that White people judge them by. My issue is whether or not this is right or wrong. Should we not hold each other up to higher standards? Should we not expect more or demand more from each other? Why do we accept the mediocre, the average, the sub-par? Why do we think it is ok to embarass ourselves in public?

Why do people look at me sideways when I wear a UPenn shirt? The same reason the look at me sideways when I wear a "I [heart] Being Black"? [We arent supposed to have pride in being Black...rather we are supposed to be doing everything we can to NOT be common jungle bunnies, but not so much that we begin to infringe on THEIR spheres] Why do I feel that I am more threatening to White people when I am not calling everyone around me a "nigga" or walking next to a man whose pants are below his behind or blasting the latest 50 joint from my car? Why do I feel I am more threatening when I am sitting on the train in a UPenn shirt reading a sociological text or carrying on a conversation in perfect American [yeah, folks, no one here speaks English]? Why do I feel that White people are more comfortable with the stereotpical negro than they are with the negroes like me who have been able to somewhat transcend the labels and the prejudices?

I am so much in love with being Black. I have so much pride in my heritage and I accept a lot of the bad with the tremendous amounts of good. But there is such a thing as tough love and that tough love comes from the most genuine depths of true love. It is loving something enough to criticize it and offer it ways to improve it. It is loving something enough to not accept the elements of it that are disgraceful. It is loving something enough represent it in its best form and to continously strive to make it better. That is how I feel about African peoples across the world. And not unlike Seargent Waters, I feel that we hold ourselves back when we limit our growth potential by subscribing to beliefs that we don't need to change or evolve. We limit ourselves by behaving in ways that are degrading and demeaning to ourselves and each other. We limit ourselves by making no progress, by being content with the status quo, and by making excuses as to why we go nowhere.

An example: There are some people who get mad when other people criticize their spelling errors or grammatical mistakes. They really get irate!! They tell people that they have no right to critique them or point out their errors. If they didn't make the errors in the first place, would there be anything to critique? Instead of welcoming the correction and taking it as a way of improving themselves, folks reject it, call it "hate" and continue on in their blissful ignorance. I have read some blogs, some "urban" books, even some magazine articles [in a few lesser-known urban pubs] that made me cringe with the level of errors made. Why are so many people content to be unable to distinguish between "wear" and "where" and "were" or "there" "their" and "they're" or "waste" and "waist"? Why have we not grasped that "conversate" sounds ignorant? Why do we not understand how terrible "irregardless" sounds? Ebonics be damned, I do not subscribe to that nonsense. Slang is one thing, being unable to speak American is another. It troubles me to no end because I feel, as a writer, that my art, my craft, is being completely botched and massacred by people who don't even want to try to be good or get better. We seem to be content with the status quo and it is why we are where we are and why we will not get much further than where we are.

Questions for discussion:

How did you spend your Thanksgiving Day off? [lol irrelevant, yes I know]

Can you think of a time when you have felt completely embarassed by other Black people? If so, share.

Am I being pretentious? Am I wrong? If so, tell me how you feel if you disagree.

What are your feelings about Black folks and where so many of us are?

Diamonds Are Not Danja's Best Friend

FYI... I post more regularly on another blog
http://360.yahoo.com/danjaruznegress

Check that one for daily blogs...

I have been doing a lot of thinking about diamonds lately.  Mind ya business.... Anyway, something that has been a major issue for me for a large part of my adult life is the issue of "conflict" or "blood" diamonds.  These terms refer to diamonds that come to the open market via the black market at the cost of human life.  This refers to the use of diamonds as wealth that funds civil wars and "conflicts" in wartorn regions of Africa.  This term refers to the "blood" shed by Africans caught in the diamond trade, often forced to work in slave conditions to mine diamonds, or victims of mutilation and slaughter by rebel forces seeking to monopolize the black market diamond trade in these regions. 

 It has always been my position, since first learning about this, that I cannot, in any good conscience, wear diamonds.  There is NO way to guarantee that any diamond purchased is NOT a blood diamond.  Though there have been certain programs put into place to try and regulate or prevent engagement with black market diamond smugglers, there are many countries and companies who do not implement the program, thus making it very possible for smuggled blood diamonds to end up on the fingers of an unsuspecting woman who has agreed to marry a very nervous man.

My answer has been, Just Dont Wear Diamonds.  This way, I wont ever have to feel like I am somehow contributing to the civil wars, the turmoil, the mutliations and deaths, the spread of AIDS [via prostitutes who visit mining camps to keep the virtual slaves "happy"], or any other unspeakable act that comes from the acquisition of diamonds.

Unfortunately, people arent as responsive to this.  Because the diamond trade is so vast, and because half of the world's diamond's are purchased by Americans, the media does very little to cover this issue.  Whats worse is that people who KNOW about this, STILL continue to purchase diamonds without knowing the source of the diamonds.  People still want to "bling bling" and be "iced" out, even if it is at the expense of some kid in Africa who died from breathing too much of the exhaust and dust in the caves, or if it means that someone in Sierra Leone caught wearing diamonds has her hand chopped off as a penalty for the crime. 

Why?  Because, in the end, people are generally apathetic to all things Africa.  The worst of the apathetic lot are Black Americans.  There is a higher percentage of non-Black people doing work against Conflict Diamonds and AIDS in Africa than there are of Black Americans. Why is this?  Cuz we don't give a rat's ass about Africans and their struggles.  We dont give a rat's ass about things going on here at home, so why on earth would we care about some damn Africans? We are far more concerned with buying goods from Italian fashion houses, buying expensive cars from German and Japanese car makers, and bling-blinging with the best of them [white folks].

For one moment, think about it this way.  During slavery, two of the major crops slaves worked on were cotton and tobacco.  Imagine all of the white people who purchased cotton and tobacco products KNOWING that they came from slave labor.  Without the demand for these products, slave labor would have never reached the level of "necessity" that it did.  Imagine if people decided they were going to boycott cotton and tobacco?  This would have put a major dent in the livelihood of the slaveowners, who might have been forced to release their slaves, since it would have been more expensive to keep them.  But what happened?  Nothing. People were apathetic and didnt care about the fact that Blacks were suffering as slaves, starving, being tortured, being killed, etc just to tend to the cotton and tobacco crops. Surely, you see the similarities??

There was a recent conversation on my friend's blog about engagement rings.  I have to say I was very much disgusted with the mentality of many of the posters-- initially.  Then I had to check myself and realize that the average person is socialized by media and influenced by what other people do and say.  How can I expect people to think differently when most of us do not live in societies that allow for individualism?  How can I expect people to look beyond the bling of a diamond ring and think about something other than how big the rock on their finger is or how much it cost?  This is America, after all, and we are descendants of slaves, who, in this country, have been doing very little more than try to be White.  I know that catches many of you by surprise, but stop it already.  We, as a people, wish we were White, or at the very least, wish we had everything they have and wish we could be everything they are.  Stop acting like we arent.  WE spend all of our energy trying to be on their level instead of creating our own levels, our own standards [of beauty and success and intelligence].  They made us this way.

Because of this, we hear whats going on with the diamonds and we dismiss it, because it is far more important that our men spend at least 2 month's salary on a diamond ring that we can show off to people and make them envious.  We dismiss the stories of people being mutilated and killed over diamonds because our most popular entertainers do very little more than talk about how much "ice" they rock.  "Bling-bling" is even in the dictionary for crying out loud!!!

Diamond signify wealth. The bigger the diamond, the wealthier one appears to be.  But is appearing to be wealthy so important, that we can turn blind eyes to the tragedies that beget these diamonds?  They say 1 in every 10 diamonds is acquired via conflict or in a conflicted region.  10% of all diamonds...  When you go shopping for a diamond, and you try on 10 different rings, one of them contains a diamond that could have beem smuggled from Sierra Leone or Angola. 

This is not going to affect the majority of you, I know this for a fact.  We are a very ignorant, selfish people.  We think about ourselves, we think about getting ahead, we think about impressing others [specifically white people], we are focused on the superficial things in life.  I remember in school, a good friend of mine received an engagement ring that was a pearl and people had the nerve to say it wasn't a real engagement ring, because it wasnt a diamond. 

How posioned we are!! How superficial!! How dare we have the audacity to challenge the authentic nature of someone's engagement ring because it isnt a diamond?  Because society tells us to do this.  We are saturated with the idea that an engagement is only ring if a ring is involved, and that ring MUST be a diamond.  We are so happy when we get diamonds as gifts because we know how expensive they are.  Don't lie.  We are happy because someone spent all that money on us.

Anyway, I posted some BBC links and other information on conflict diamonds.  If you have time, read one or two of them.  If you would rather not know so that you dont feel guilty wearing your diamond, I respect that.  Sometimes it is easier to be ignorant, as ignorance is bliss.  But for those of you who wish to know more, research.  Make a change.  Stand up for something important to your people globally.  Do your part.  Change the way you think about things; stop being sheep!  Set your own trend and follow your own mind.

**For the record, there are some companies who go out of their way to verify and certify that their diamonds do NOT come from conflicted areas.  Remember 9 out 10 diamonds are conflict free.  If you REALLY need to have a diamond, make sure you do the research and demand the verification from your jeweler.  It might take a long time, but in the end it is worth it.**

http://www.amnestyusa.org/amnestynow/diamonds.html

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2001/06/14/eveningnews/main296716.shtml

http://geology.about.com/cs/conflict_minerals/a/aa020203a.htm

http://jewelry.about.com/cs/diamondmining/a/diamonds.htm

 

http://gbgm-umc.org/umcor/stories/doyouknow.stm

 

Movie coming out in 2007, Blood Diamond,  starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Djimon Honsou, and Jennifer Connelly

http://movies.yahoo.com/shop?d=hp&cf=prev&id=1808405243

 

I Love White People Who Love Being White

Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:

Now I often go on and on about crackers, cave dwellers, honkeys, and the like, but I'm going to admit something that, if it were not in writing, I would never admit to it again.

I appreciate white people who know how to be white.

The above picture, is a picture of Paul Wall, Houston rapper known for talking a lot about his "grill".  I got the pic from some dude's blog from Houston [http://livefromthegridiron.blogspot.com] who apparently knows this dude.  I didn't read the blog because I could care less, I was just looking for pics of this Paul Wall and his Nubian wife [the two people on the right].

So my man was like, well this is what he grew up around, this is what he knows.  All he knows is black people and black culture. And yeah, I get that, but, he is still white... dammit!  I mean, am I mad that he fell into the trance of a busty black woman? No, he cannot help it.  Black women are the way, truth, and light for all lost white men.  There just aren't many who marry us. [According to the last census, only about 2% of all interracial marriages are black women and white men]  So, it seems that either a white man is extremely well-to-do and marries an equally well-to-do black woman [Robert Deniero/Grace Hightower], a celebrity white man gets his rocks off by a sultry black woman [Bill Maher(sp?)/Karrine Steffans], or white trash/white hip-hopper marries local Loquita [Paul Wall/Mrs. Wall]. 

The same thing often happens with black folks who grow up only around white people.  They end up dating only white people, they take on so-called "white" characteristics, etc.  [Disclaimer: I am no way trying to give in to the whole acting black/acting white discourse... just flow with me on this ok?] Then as they get older, they find that Mommy and Daddy Cracker ain't so supportive of their children marrying the local colored, and said colored is in for a rude awakening.... ORRRR they face that rude awakening when they go to a diverse college or university and encounter people like ME.

I was reading the Daily News today and I read how Kevin "Baby Daddy To The Fading Stars" Federline just released a rap song on the web.  They even put up some lyrics, which I won't even waste my time retyping.  This dude is bonkers.  His trashy ass goes and has 2 kids by Shar Jackson, fading former co-star of fading star Brandy's show Moesha.  Did they get married? Nope, he just knocked her up.  Of course she already had 1 [or 2, I forget] babies by someone else, so I guess he believed she was down for the baby-making sans marriage-committing.  Then he realizes that her "star" was fading fast and he leeches himself onto Britney Spears, giving her the perfect means of rebelling against everyone who called her "perfect".  She went and got her a white trash bum with babies by a Black woman, and married him, then bore him a spawn, which according to reports, she hates.

Now this wigger wants to be a rapper.  Dude.  Stop.  Now.

You know why I respect Eminem?  1. He is an amazing lyricist and battle rapper. 2. He grew up around folks who exposed him to hip hop and he reveres it. 3. [and most important] HE MARRIED A WHITE TRASH WOMAN!!  He didnt have anything to prove by going out there and marrying a Black woman, having a mixed baby.  No, he stuck with his white trash roots, married a white trash woman with horrible roots, and had him a white trash [well...rich white trash] baby.  Yeah, he made a song about a Black Bitch after she broke up with him.  Black folks got all bent out of shape about that [but have no problem with every Black rapper that does the same thing], but fuck it, he is perfectly happy being white.  He incorporates his Whiteness into his raps, not apologetically, but naturally, because he has no confusion at all about being a white man in America.

Vanilla Ice was probably the most horrific example of White Boy wanting to be Black Gone Wrong.  He was an abomination that made it almost impossible for someone like Eminem to even come forward and do what he does.  Eminem suffered comparisons because of his skin color, but eventually, his skills overrode any possible connection to the Iceman.  Now we have this southern Paul Wall who, in my opinion, is the best rapper in his Swisha House clique.  But he is still a white boy trying to live Black.  All his comrades are Black, his wife is Black, he does Black music.  Hey, who am I to say anything.

My man has a friend/co-worker that we will call Daniel.  Daniel is white.  Really white.  Like cornbread white.  But Daniel knows this and embraces his whiteness which is why he is cool and gets along with my man, and yes, I admit it, even me.  Daniel is also a spoken word performer/poet who performs pieces around the city.  He speaks about racism from a white man's point of view, but doesnt apologize for being white.  He just talks about reality as he sees it.  He is still unmistakeably white, and you know what, THAT is why I dig him.  He doesnt try to come with the colloquialisms, or dress the dress, so to speak.  He is just a cornbread eating middle-American.

I also read about a high school with close to 2,000 students and like 5 of them are black, about 30 are latino and maybe the same about of Asians.  They had a "Thug Day" when they would come dressed up as Black Gangstas, complete with Afros, gold chains and teeth, sagging pants, etc.  This went on for 3 years before it was halted.  Why it took 3 years to stop, I don't know, but I would guess it is because the teachers found it just as amusing as the students involved in perpetuating it.  Without a strong enough Black Voice, this type of thing could continue on without opposition.

This is a shout out to all of the crackers who are unafraid of being White.  Walk with pride, because you have the greatest advantage in any playing field; you have white skin.  At the end of the day, Eminem, Paul Wall, Kevin Federline, and others can remove the hip hop skin they want to live in and be your average Joe Cracker.  They benefit from being white, whether it is because their whiteness makes them a novelty or because they are just white men who normally benefit from white privilege. 

It is hard to see people reject who they are, and in many ways, I have suppressed many parts of my personality out of fear of how I would be accepted or viewed.  This isn't cool.  It isn't cool to try and be something you are not, for whatever reason.  If we could all just be who we are, maybe the world would be more diverse, more "real", and just...well... better?

I Shit You Not

This was my horoscope for today:

"Daily extended (by Astrology.com)

It's not that you live for conflict, competition and aggression -- not at all. It's just that you happen to be, well, an adrenaline junkie. You live for it, love it and do whatever it takes to raise your blood pressure. Don't even bother denying it. You know it, and anyone who knows and loves you knows it, too. In fact (and don't ever, ever admit to them that you know) it's a big part of the reason they love you: because you're never, ever boring -- not by any stretch of the imagination."

This is what I wrote the other day, about myself:

"Anyway.  I'm a problem, most of the time, and in my ever-maturing infinite wisdom [did that make sense?...*thinking*  NOPE], I am learning that I provoke people on purpose.  Prepare for moment of self-actualization here. I push buttons intentionally to get a rise out of people, or as I see it, to get the most out of them.  I like when people begin to feel passionate emotions, be it anger, frustration, extreme happiness, determination, or any other emotion that evokes passion.  I love to see this, I love to watch this.  Don't ask why, but I thrive on it.  The problem comes when people don't know that I am not always doing this to be negative, but simply to fill some twisted void in my world. lol.  *Yeah sometimes I love pissing people off*. I love to feel my own blood pumping, my pressure rising, my eyebrows furrowing, and lips sneering, and every other physical manifestion of the ever-present "YOU DUMB FUCK!!!!" sensation, and I push buttons to challenge others to get to that phase.  Can't help it."

Next Topic:

I saw this on my co-worker Andre's blog.  I want to comment on these things and how they relate to Black folks today, as I see it. My comments in BOLD.

Black Power/Buy Nothing 'til Jan 2006

BLACK AMERICA'S

NO SPEND ZONE:

THE BLACK POWER OUTAGE

"Our Power is One Power."

Nov. 1, 2005 - Jan. 1, 2006



They left us without for 5 days? Let's leave them without for 2 months. They portray us as looters? Let's refrain from purchasing their goods. Unfortunately, as much as people resent being left stranded without food and water for several days, they are VERY happy to be able to drink and eat NOW.  Telling people who have experience near-starvation to NOT buy products and goods, is a bit much.





Afromerica, readers, affiliates and millions of Black American's will conduct a show of Black Power beginning the month of November throughout to January 1, 2006. We are going to redirect our dollars away from mainstream retail holiday businesses - which are currently planning the future of our dollars for us for the paganist holiday season. While I agree that the holiday season has gone commercially out of control, and I have my own issues with the general population's obsession with holiday shopping, I know that NEGROES are not going to refrain from buying each other things.  Why?  Because Kwanzaa, a holiday that emphasizes exchanging  hand-made gifts, is still generally unaccepted by Black Folks in this country.  If they can't even support a holiday created FOR US, that includes exchanging hand-made, unbought gifts, how are they going to draw themselves from their need to BUY gifts for Christmas?



We are not asking that you refrain from purchasing goods and services for one (1) day, which they can't black folks to do in general we are asking you refrain for two (2) months, from Nov 1 - Jan 1. The results of this effort will prove more than a one (1) day boycott, this isnt 1955 and unfortunately, Black folks dont see the need for boycotts and protests; they think everything is all good but will show nearly a quarters worth of income adjustment or loss for many businesses as a result of losing Black-spending power.very good idea, won't work though.



We are contacting many major Black businesses, media, movements and websites to ask for support and national promotion. This is the time to TURN OFF THE LIGHTS.



The following business types and services will become part of THE NO SPEND ZONE:





1. All companies tied into slave labor, prison labor, and exploitation of minority peoples, such as NIKE, HILFIGER, DELL, others: (if anyone has a list of companies, please submit them to us via email.) Black people not buying NIKE??? Are these fools crazy?? They might as well ask black folks to stop eating Chicken Wings.  We don't seem to care that most diamonds are conflict diamonds, obtained in some of the most horrendous conditions that involve OUR OWN people, and we wear them anyway like a badge of honor.  How do we expect Black folks to stop buying products made in Asian sweatshops?  We care less about exploited Asians than we do about exploited Africans.  Come on NOW!!

2. No Electronics (TVs, cell-phones, stereos, all foreign exploitation) No cellphone purchases?  Does this mean no pre-paid service either? Cuz you know coloreds and their bad credit rely on prepaid cell phones.  No TVs? No DVD players?  NO video game consoles?  They arent leaving very many Christmas gift options for their bad ass kids are they???

3. No Automobiles or SUVs (keep your car serviced until 2006)  Keeping a nigger from buying a car is like keeping a starving Ethiopian from a Ritz Cracker.  Maybe they can hold off until January, unless, of course, they have the all-important task of flossin' at the annual Holiday gathering with a new ride.  Gotta show up RayRay somehow!

4. No Designer Clothes (other than Black owned) Now they done went hysterically insane.  They want BLack people...in America... to NOT buy designer clothing that isnt black owned??? There are so FEW Black-owned designer making affordable clothing, or even reasonably priced clothing in the first place.  One of the biggest gifts to get someone, especially young folks, is clothing.  Young people crave designer clothing because of material whores like Jay-Z and Lil Kim, so how do we expect to convince parents to not buy these articles of clothing?  They did nothing to rear their kids into rejecting materialism, so it would be a bit late to try and make up for it now.  And then, they would only piss off their children and further alienate them.  BLACK PEOPLE NOT BUYING DESIGNER CLTOTHING???  Man, we go to work everyday JUST to buy designer clothing.  We spend twice our income on apparel alone...yes, black folks spend that much fucking money on expensive designer clothing.  You think theya re going to listen to some preaching fool talking about "don't buy it"...Right....

5. No Beauty Cosmetics (you are already beautiful) The problem with this is that the reasoning behind it is inconsistant with the premise of the protest.  It isnt about what looks good or what have you, it about keeping black dollars out of mainstream markets.  There are make-up lines that are black-owned/operated and/or specifically for black women.  Should we not support them either?  And why is it for these 2 months that we shouldnt buy the products?  Shouldnt this be a year-round cause?

6. No Liquor, beer, wine (We know this will be hard for most and it takes discipline, but at least cut down) How are you going to compromise on this?  cut down?? This alone ruins this whole things for me.  If you are going to tell people to NOT do something, be consistant about it. DOn't say, well you can drink, just don't drink so much.  Boycotting isnt about just getting a lil, it is about NOT DOING IT AT ALL.  THe Montgomery bus boycott didn't say, only take the bus once a week, it said don't ride the bus AT ALL.  And they chose to compromise on Liquor?? How fucking hypocritical is that??

7. No New Appliances (unless yours quit)  Now it is about getting stuff if other stuff d0esnt work?  No, again, boycotting is about sacrifice for the greater good, teaching a lesson, making a point... how do you make a point if you continue to patronize these businesses.  This should not have a parenthetical "unless yours quit" attached.

8. No restaurant meals (still remember how to cook? Save money)  And this includes Black Owned/operated restaurants too?  They didnt differentiate.  Iagree that people need to cook at home more, it is healthier and more financially responsible, but to blanket all restaurants isnt good. There are a lot of Black business owners who would suffer immensely from this.

9. No Furniture (that should be easy) See my about comments about black owned/operated businesses.

10. No Vacations (except to go see family members) Guess I need to cancel that trip to Ghana....  what do vacations have to do with anything?  Do they mean don't support exploitative resorts and hotels?  Do they mean "Don't go to a resort hotel in Montego Bay when down the street their are riots and turmoil ripping through the streets of Jamaican Cities"??

11. No Movies, CDs (except of Black origin)... The same companies that manufacture mainstream movies and music manufacture Black movies and music.  In fact, White people consume our entertainment more than we do.  We Bootleg shit too much.  Are they suggesting with take money out of the bootlegger's family's mouths?  They are saying it is ok to give our money to 50 cent and other entertainers who set Black folks back 50-100 years, but it isnt good to buy a CD of Christmas Carols?

12. No Toys (please do not spoil your children) See my above comment about reasoning.  This isnt about spoiling children...when did buying your kids toys become spoiling them??  They should say don't buy Toys from such and such company because this company exploits Africans or uses Asian sweatshops... not "dont buy toys cuz they spoil ya kids"... That's gay.

13. No House wares (unless something falls apart)  See answer about appliances

14. No Gifts (show love by your words and actions) I agree with showing love in actions and words, but they shouldnt say NO gifts, they should focus in on the type of gift.  Nothing wrong with Handmade gifts, or gifts of money to people you know and care about.

15. No Entertainment or Sporting Events (plays, movies, basketball (unless you got season tickets) You are telling coloreds to not go to concerts and not go to basketball games?? Telling black men not to order NBA ticket??  Telling black folks to NOT go to the movies, when going to the movies is one of the few things that some families can afford and find time to do together??  I understand telling folks to support Black movies, but they don't even allow for that.  This is bananas...

 

I find protests like these problematic because the efforts and ideas do not reach even a significant amount of people to make any of this effective.  There have been so many Black Out dates, Black Tuesdays, etc that have given people the opportunity to show purchasing power solidarity, but we do nothing with it.  WE are an assimilated people.  We buy into the materialism that drives this country.  We work FOR them and then return our money TO them.  It is the Black American way.

 

Protests like these would only work if folks felt they had a real reason to protest.  Maybe if someone important died.  Maybe if someone other than Louis "Ultraperm" Farakkhan spoke up about things.  Maybe if Black folks werent so ignorant to the power they would have if they came together.  Maybe if we didn't love having nice things so much.  Maybe if we didnt feel the need to spend every dollar that we earn.  Maybe if we didnt feel the need to impress the next person, or keep up with the (Kimberly) Joneses of the world.

 

Black folks have no motivation to protest.  Their mamas could be in jail  and they would come to visiting hours wearing the latest Gucci or Prada or Nike gear.  They don't see the importance of preserving black dollars, and why should they?  They have no real example to follow.  Everything is bling-bling, flash-flash. 

 

Nice try...

Bitches & Hoes, Hoes & Bitches, and Niggers too

What's in a name?

If I call someone a stank hoe bitch, what does that mean? I mean, really though...

Like if I called your woman a stank hoe bitch, would you be mad?  Ok, would you be mad if she was one of my best friends?

I realize that I use these and other eloquent epithets to describe people that I both care about and could care less about.  So what is the difference between the old, lonely bitch at the club and old, lonely bitch who I want in my wedding party?  Iono, man, that's why I'm asking y'all. LOL

See I talk a lot about the horrors of the dreaded "N" word. I've gotten to the point [dayum I'm getting old] when I feel that the world knows how I feel about it, and thus, if I use it occasionally, they hear me, but know that I am strongly against it.  Make sense?  Buy it?  Yeah, I didnt think so.

So ok, I recently had a post about "Niggerisms", and in said post, I detailed some things that I found to be quite "Niggerish" behavior.  By Niggerish, of course, I meant self-degrading, stupid beyond any conceivable means, idiotic, and such. 

**So this concept of a "Nigger", as coined by the Crackers of yesteryear, was a Black person. Not all crackers called black folks Niggers, but for those who did, it was generally acceptable. From what I gather, and I'm no Nigger Connoisseur by any means, but the original exploring crackers were in the Niger region, but mispronounced Niger, and thus labeled the people from the region as Nigers, or Niggers as they pronounced it.  It took on a negative connotation because of the derogatory ways it was said or the times at which it was used.  But Black folks called other black folks niggers out on the field.  Why? Because that's what they thought they were, especially since crackers were calling them that.  We forget that they had to learn this language, so they also learned the name that the crackers had for them, and embraced it as normal.

Slave 1: I sho' is tiyud today. Massah ain' playin' is he?

Slave 2: Shut up, ya lazy nigger, get back to work befo' we getz our asses beat

Now was he trying to be derogatory?  More than likely, no.  It is we uppity Negroes of modern times who shrug off the Nigger label as offensive [if crackers use it] because it reminds us of slavery.  And no one hates being reminded of slavery more than Black folks, I tell ya!  We think we are so above being called Niggers like them ole slaves, dont we?

So basically, we hate anything that crackers put on us, so when they call us Niggers, we get mad. When they called us colored, we accepted it but then decided that wasnt good either.  Then we were Negroes, or vice versa.  You get my point.  Any label they gave us, we shrugged off after a period of embracing it, because we decided it wasn't good enough for us.  In fact, we ain't been happy until we got a label that is more incorrect and ridiculous than any other, African-American. {See, now THAT is some Niggerish shit}.**

So what does it mean that I associate such behavior with such a term.  I mean, hey, according to crackers of old, we are Niggers, Black people from the Niger region, right?  Then why do we get so uptight about it?

Let me offer explanation one to the court

CUZ WE JUST SOME SOME ANGRY, UPPITY NIGGERS WITH NO GOOD GATDAYUMMED SENSE WHO HAVE NOWHERE ELSE TO DIRECT OUR ENERGY, SO WE FOCUS ON STUPID ASS LABELS TO GET US BENT OUT OF SHAPE!!!

Ahem, excuse me ladies and gentlemen.

Yeah, I'm one of them, kinda.  I mean there are other niggers out there who call me uppity, say I think my shit don't stink, that I am too opinionated, that I flaunt my successes, etc.  They are right of course, but for argument's sake, let's say I'm not any of those things.  Lets say that I'm just a regular old NWAC [Nigger Without A Cause], and I need to exert some of this Black Rage that has been building up inside of me.  So what do I do with it?

I go to two prominent Cracker Schools and profess my hatred of the word NIGGER.  I begin my crusade to convince black people that they should NEVER call themselves Niggers because it is a degrading word and they are so beyond that. I will tell people that they shouldn't differentiate between Black people and Niggers [a la Chris Rock] because that is just as bad, if not worse.  I will tell people that there is no difference between nigGER and nigGAH, and eloquently explain how dialectal changes or phonetic differences in pronunciation do nothing to change the meaning to the word.  I would cringe when people actually try to explain the difference between the two, or say how it is cool for some people to use it, but not others.  I will begin to hate how women call their men "My Nigga" and men call their sons "Lil Niggas".  I will convince myself that I am right and the people who use this word are still mentally enslaved and need to be released from Nigger Bondage.

Well, Fuck that, Niggers! you are on your own. No more freedom fighting from the kid! Most of you niggers never appreciated it anyway.

Cuz I love calling my close friends Stank Hoe Bitches.  That is what they are and that is what I will call them.  I mean, when I think about the characteristics of what a Bitch really is, a female dog, I think about the love for doggy-style that most of them have, and their penchant for random acts of sex, and I'm like, hey I aint so far off. *snicker* You might not like it, and fuck you too.  Because I feel it is my right to call these trampy whores, applehead dykes, waterhead yella heffas, tree-hugging carpet muchers, or  whatever I want, I realize it is every black person's right to degrade themselves and their loved ones by calling them "Niggers".  Who am I to infringe on that right?  In fact, I will even join in on it. 

Paul Mooney was right.  Saying "Nigger" 100 times a day keeps your teeth white.

 

STAND UP IF YOU'RE A NIGGER!!!

FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT TO BE A NIGGER!!

Y'all love it SO much, why not stomp your foot and light a match for self-hate?

 

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