Adoption
OK so as we get off at the next exit, and take a turn in a different direction, I want to bring up a new topic.
Let me preface it by saying that the reason this is an important topic to me is because it is at the heart of one of my passionate goals in life. That goal is to own and operate a loving, stable house for foster children, one that has the capacity to house at least 6-8 children at a time.
This has been something I have wanted to do ever since I was in grade school when I found out that my best friend, Ganida, had been bouncing in and out of foster care. Her and her sister moved from home to home, occasionally living with their grandmother. Their 8 month pregnant mother was strangled to death by their father when he found out that the baby was not his. Mom died, dad went to prison, and to foster care they went. I learned all of this in the 2nd grade. Since then, I have known that one day, I am going to open a home to children in need, and knowing my bleeding heart, I'll end up adopting some.
Today's Topic: ADOPTION
Let me just hit you with some stats first:
From www.adoption.com:
**Hispanic populations are more likely (54 percent) to consider adoption than African-American (45 percent) and White populations (36 percent) – though African-Americans are most likely to consider adopting a child who has been in foster care for a few years.
**Nearly 40% of American adults, or 81.5 million people, have considered adopting a child. If just one in 500 of these adults adopt, all of the 134,000 children in foster care waiting for adoption would have permanent, loving families, according to the new National Adoption Attitudes Survey.
**One in two Americans say that the cost of adoption is a major concern. Adoption cost issues worry almost half of middle income Americans (45 percent) (those earning from $25,000 to $99,000) who comprise the majority of American households, as well as over half (52 percent) of lower income Americans. This concern exists despite a $10,000 federal adoption tax credit, low-to-no cost foster care adoptions and growing employer benefits.
**Based on current AFCARS estimates released January 2000, there are approximately 520,000 children currently in foster care in the United States. Of these, 117,000 are eligible for adoption. (US HHS, 2000)
**The most recent estimates, which include intercountry adoptions, found that 8% of adoptions were transracial.
**between 2% to 4% of American families include an adopted child
Did you know that in 1972, The National Association og Black Social Workers strongly opposed trends towards transracial adoption?
From http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1053/is_n5_v19/ai_9357976
**Today, 61.2 % of all black children are born to unwed mothers. (3) According to Marian Wright Edelman, President of the Children's Defense Fund, a black teenager is twice as likely to become pregnant as a white teenager and five times as likely to become an unwed parent.
**Despite this high level of unwed pregnancy, the black community has a very low percentage of girls choosing formal adoption for their babies. In fact, the percentage is statistically insignificant at less than 1%.
**The most significant barrier to a young black mother making an adoption decision is that relinquishing a newborn is not readily accepted within the black cultural milieu.
Let me just rattle off some of my views on adoption in general, as it relates to Black folks, and as it relates to me.
I believe that adoption is natural to communal groups of people. In other words, I think the less individualist a group of people are, the more likely they are to consider adoption a natural course of action. I think African people are, by nature, a communal people. Africans in America, however, have been forced to assimilate to an individualistic, capitalist society which discourages helping the fellow man and encourages self-sufficiency and success. Because we exist in this country, we have somehow lost touch with what it means for us to be a communal people who look out for each other, help each other, support each other, and take care of each in ways that go above and beyond the common call of duty.
I think every family in this country ought to open their homes to a child without a home. That is a very firm belief of mine and I will stand by it forever. I do not care what tax bracket the family exists in [though I think the more money a household has coming in, the more likely they should be to adopt a child], I do not care if it is single parent, two parents, married, gay, straight, Black, White, Latino, Christian, Muslim, whatever. Every family should open their home to a child in need. The stat said that of the 81.5 million people who say they considered the idea of adoption, if 1 out of every 500 of them actually did it, there would be no children waiting to be adopted. Amazing isnt it?
Many of us Negroes know informal adoption very well. Some of us were raised with a cousin who was like a brother because his mother was unable to care for him. Some of us had a play cousin, who lived with Grandma and not her parents, but wasnt directly related to our family. Those of us who grew up very close to the poverty line know what it means to live in a crowded home with several extended family members being taken in because they have nowhere else to go. We know this; this is who many of us are. In a 1977 study, it was determined that 13% of Black children lived in an informally adoptive situation.
Some Negroes have even gone so far as to open their homes to foster someone else's child, maybe even a stranger's child, and receive a check from the government to do so. Hell, some of us have done that JUST to get the check, but that is another story. Some of us have heard our friends tell stories about the kids who come in and out of their homes, and we eventually realized it was because their mother or parents were fostering other children. At some point, I believe we have all had a connection with the foster system or informal adoption.
Though studies prove that Black families formally adopt children at the same rate as Whites, this is disproportionate because there are a disproportionate number of Black children awaiting adoption, and it would take Black families adopting them at a rate 4x times greater than what they are doing to keep up! [This is just accounting for non-transracial adoption]. This isnt happening because although "Healthy black babies, like white babies, get adopted quickly... older black kids in foster care, having been removed from their parents, often encounter greater difficulty in getting adopted. Many parents fear adopting older children since they didn't bond with them when they were young. Others fear some children may have mental or physical problems." (http://capmag.com/article.asp?ID=4153)
They say the reason that there are so many Black kids in foster care is because the Black single parent family rate is twice that of any other racial or ethnic group in this country. Only recently have single people been allowed to formally open their homes to foster or adopt children, and even still, there are huge barriers facing these desires to help. Put it to you this way:
--Black folks discourage each other from putting their children up for formal adoption, for various reasons mostly based on stereotype and ignorance. Therefor, we have higher single parent households, higher percentages of young people having kids and keeping them, etc. Rather than encourage parents of unwanted or unplanned pregancies to consider adoption as a viable option, we stigmatize it and inadvertantly contribute to higher rates of out-of-wedlock births, more children being forced to live in poverty [approximatly 70% of all black children under age 6, born to unwed mothers, live in poverty], less kids graduating high school, and other problems that plague our community. There is something about not giving up our own, as studies show, many unwed Black mothers liken it to slavery conditions or "selling" one's child to white people.
--The higher one's goals in life, the more likely the chance of giving a child up for adoption. Studies found that unwed mothers who have high career goals, who dont opt for abortion, are more likely to put their children up for adoption either formally or informally. When one is born into a cycle of poverty and one has no real role models to strive for excellence, one might not carve out high goals for oneself, not believing that there is much more to life than what one knows. If everyone around you is having babies young and dealing with it, you might end up doing the same.
--Black folks look at adoption like somethign is wrong with it. Not all, but many do. Even my own father was like "yeah but that won't be my REAL grandchild". There is a stigma attached to formally taking in a stranger's child, but it is perfectly acceptable to take in someone from your own family. This is NOT the African way! We have become so sanitized and so selfish, it disgusts me at times.
What happened to US doing for US? What happened to us being our brothers' and sisters' keepers? What happened to picking up the slack. MANY of us are descendants of "families" that were bought and sold and manufactured together in slave quarters. Many of our ancestors took in another woman's child who had recently been purchased and raised that child as his/her own. Why have we lost that spirit? Do we feel the need is any less great? OUR children are the ones left stumbling around the foster care system at greater rates than anyone else. OUR children are the ones falling between the cracks. OUR children are the ones who have to fight harder than any child should have to fight just to reach the age of 18.
My last comment is for the pro-lifers. You might be offended but I could care less. If you are pro-life, over the age of 25, have a stable job and home, and you do NOT foster children or you have NOT adopted a child, I do not want to hear a single, solitary peep about any of your pro-life rhetoric. There is nothing worse than people who talk shit all the time and do nothing to put their money where their mouths are. You see all of these people protesting abortion, talking about how a fetus is a child and abortion should be illegal, but how many of them have foster children or have adopted children? Just given the adoption rates alone, we know not many of them do. THEY should be the FIRST people to line up to take in unwanted children.
So yeah, I plan to adopt at least one child and I plan to open a home later in my life to kids who need a stable, loving foster home. That will be my contribution to our people.
Discussion Questions:
1. Do you consider adoption a real possibility in your future? [Or have you adopted a child?] Be honest. If yes or no, explain why.
2. Have you or has anyone close to you ever been involved in the foster care system or been adopted? What are some of the experiences?
3. What do you think are reasons why Black folks are not more into adoption than they are?
4. How do you feel about transracial adoption?
5. How do you feel about gay couples adopting?
Let me preface it by saying that the reason this is an important topic to me is because it is at the heart of one of my passionate goals in life. That goal is to own and operate a loving, stable house for foster children, one that has the capacity to house at least 6-8 children at a time.
This has been something I have wanted to do ever since I was in grade school when I found out that my best friend, Ganida, had been bouncing in and out of foster care. Her and her sister moved from home to home, occasionally living with their grandmother. Their 8 month pregnant mother was strangled to death by their father when he found out that the baby was not his. Mom died, dad went to prison, and to foster care they went. I learned all of this in the 2nd grade. Since then, I have known that one day, I am going to open a home to children in need, and knowing my bleeding heart, I'll end up adopting some.
Today's Topic: ADOPTION
Let me just hit you with some stats first:
From www.adoption.com:
**Hispanic populations are more likely (54 percent) to consider adoption than African-American (45 percent) and White populations (36 percent) – though African-Americans are most likely to consider adopting a child who has been in foster care for a few years.
**Nearly 40% of American adults, or 81.5 million people, have considered adopting a child. If just one in 500 of these adults adopt, all of the 134,000 children in foster care waiting for adoption would have permanent, loving families, according to the new National Adoption Attitudes Survey.
**One in two Americans say that the cost of adoption is a major concern. Adoption cost issues worry almost half of middle income Americans (45 percent) (those earning from $25,000 to $99,000) who comprise the majority of American households, as well as over half (52 percent) of lower income Americans. This concern exists despite a $10,000 federal adoption tax credit, low-to-no cost foster care adoptions and growing employer benefits.
**Based on current AFCARS estimates released January 2000, there are approximately 520,000 children currently in foster care in the United States. Of these, 117,000 are eligible for adoption. (US HHS, 2000)
**The most recent estimates, which include intercountry adoptions, found that 8% of adoptions were transracial.
**between 2% to 4% of American families include an adopted child
Did you know that in 1972, The National Association og Black Social Workers strongly opposed trends towards transracial adoption?
From http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1053/is_n5_v19/ai_9357976
**Today, 61.2 % of all black children are born to unwed mothers. (3) According to Marian Wright Edelman, President of the Children's Defense Fund, a black teenager is twice as likely to become pregnant as a white teenager and five times as likely to become an unwed parent.
**Despite this high level of unwed pregnancy, the black community has a very low percentage of girls choosing formal adoption for their babies. In fact, the percentage is statistically insignificant at less than 1%.
**The most significant barrier to a young black mother making an adoption decision is that relinquishing a newborn is not readily accepted within the black cultural milieu.
Let me just rattle off some of my views on adoption in general, as it relates to Black folks, and as it relates to me.
I believe that adoption is natural to communal groups of people. In other words, I think the less individualist a group of people are, the more likely they are to consider adoption a natural course of action. I think African people are, by nature, a communal people. Africans in America, however, have been forced to assimilate to an individualistic, capitalist society which discourages helping the fellow man and encourages self-sufficiency and success. Because we exist in this country, we have somehow lost touch with what it means for us to be a communal people who look out for each other, help each other, support each other, and take care of each in ways that go above and beyond the common call of duty.
I think every family in this country ought to open their homes to a child without a home. That is a very firm belief of mine and I will stand by it forever. I do not care what tax bracket the family exists in [though I think the more money a household has coming in, the more likely they should be to adopt a child], I do not care if it is single parent, two parents, married, gay, straight, Black, White, Latino, Christian, Muslim, whatever. Every family should open their home to a child in need. The stat said that of the 81.5 million people who say they considered the idea of adoption, if 1 out of every 500 of them actually did it, there would be no children waiting to be adopted. Amazing isnt it?
Many of us Negroes know informal adoption very well. Some of us were raised with a cousin who was like a brother because his mother was unable to care for him. Some of us had a play cousin, who lived with Grandma and not her parents, but wasnt directly related to our family. Those of us who grew up very close to the poverty line know what it means to live in a crowded home with several extended family members being taken in because they have nowhere else to go. We know this; this is who many of us are. In a 1977 study, it was determined that 13% of Black children lived in an informally adoptive situation.
Some Negroes have even gone so far as to open their homes to foster someone else's child, maybe even a stranger's child, and receive a check from the government to do so. Hell, some of us have done that JUST to get the check, but that is another story. Some of us have heard our friends tell stories about the kids who come in and out of their homes, and we eventually realized it was because their mother or parents were fostering other children. At some point, I believe we have all had a connection with the foster system or informal adoption.
Though studies prove that Black families formally adopt children at the same rate as Whites, this is disproportionate because there are a disproportionate number of Black children awaiting adoption, and it would take Black families adopting them at a rate 4x times greater than what they are doing to keep up! [This is just accounting for non-transracial adoption]. This isnt happening because although "Healthy black babies, like white babies, get adopted quickly... older black kids in foster care, having been removed from their parents, often encounter greater difficulty in getting adopted. Many parents fear adopting older children since they didn't bond with them when they were young. Others fear some children may have mental or physical problems." (http://capmag.com/article.asp?ID=4153)
They say the reason that there are so many Black kids in foster care is because the Black single parent family rate is twice that of any other racial or ethnic group in this country. Only recently have single people been allowed to formally open their homes to foster or adopt children, and even still, there are huge barriers facing these desires to help. Put it to you this way:
--Black folks discourage each other from putting their children up for formal adoption, for various reasons mostly based on stereotype and ignorance. Therefor, we have higher single parent households, higher percentages of young people having kids and keeping them, etc. Rather than encourage parents of unwanted or unplanned pregancies to consider adoption as a viable option, we stigmatize it and inadvertantly contribute to higher rates of out-of-wedlock births, more children being forced to live in poverty [approximatly 70% of all black children under age 6, born to unwed mothers, live in poverty], less kids graduating high school, and other problems that plague our community. There is something about not giving up our own, as studies show, many unwed Black mothers liken it to slavery conditions or "selling" one's child to white people.
--The higher one's goals in life, the more likely the chance of giving a child up for adoption. Studies found that unwed mothers who have high career goals, who dont opt for abortion, are more likely to put their children up for adoption either formally or informally. When one is born into a cycle of poverty and one has no real role models to strive for excellence, one might not carve out high goals for oneself, not believing that there is much more to life than what one knows. If everyone around you is having babies young and dealing with it, you might end up doing the same.
--Black folks look at adoption like somethign is wrong with it. Not all, but many do. Even my own father was like "yeah but that won't be my REAL grandchild". There is a stigma attached to formally taking in a stranger's child, but it is perfectly acceptable to take in someone from your own family. This is NOT the African way! We have become so sanitized and so selfish, it disgusts me at times.
What happened to US doing for US? What happened to us being our brothers' and sisters' keepers? What happened to picking up the slack. MANY of us are descendants of "families" that were bought and sold and manufactured together in slave quarters. Many of our ancestors took in another woman's child who had recently been purchased and raised that child as his/her own. Why have we lost that spirit? Do we feel the need is any less great? OUR children are the ones left stumbling around the foster care system at greater rates than anyone else. OUR children are the ones falling between the cracks. OUR children are the ones who have to fight harder than any child should have to fight just to reach the age of 18.
My last comment is for the pro-lifers. You might be offended but I could care less. If you are pro-life, over the age of 25, have a stable job and home, and you do NOT foster children or you have NOT adopted a child, I do not want to hear a single, solitary peep about any of your pro-life rhetoric. There is nothing worse than people who talk shit all the time and do nothing to put their money where their mouths are. You see all of these people protesting abortion, talking about how a fetus is a child and abortion should be illegal, but how many of them have foster children or have adopted children? Just given the adoption rates alone, we know not many of them do. THEY should be the FIRST people to line up to take in unwanted children.
So yeah, I plan to adopt at least one child and I plan to open a home later in my life to kids who need a stable, loving foster home. That will be my contribution to our people.
Discussion Questions:
1. Do you consider adoption a real possibility in your future? [Or have you adopted a child?] Be honest. If yes or no, explain why.
2. Have you or has anyone close to you ever been involved in the foster care system or been adopted? What are some of the experiences?
3. What do you think are reasons why Black folks are not more into adoption than they are?
4. How do you feel about transracial adoption?
5. How do you feel about gay couples adopting?
posted by MBT4679 at 11/30/2005 02:31:00 PM
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