Reclusive...
Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
I always feel like...somebody's watching me...
Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
So I've decided to become a recluse for 2005. Why? Because all this hanging out shit aint ME. I'm a homebody. I feel no better than when I am at home, laying in bed, in front of a computer or the television or both. This is how I can think, really get into deep mental conversations with all the people living in my head.
Ok, so I know I sound crazy and people might think I have MPD, BUT I know the value of listening to oneself. Sometimes we listen to others too much, seeking advice and/or validation from other people. Who, more than I, can tell me what I need to know about myself?
So I am thinking that I will chill on the parties, the retreats, the weekend trips, etc. I am thinking that I will chill on the interaction with tangential personalities. I am thinking I will focus more on reconnecting with the people who matter the most to me; maybe finding some people I have lost along the way. There are some people I have encountered in life who have had profound effects on my life. I have only encountered ONE recently (meaning the last couple of years), and she knows who she is.
I seek real people. I seek people who help advance my life. No time for inertia or for people around bringing me down. I need to move forward and if people arent for that cause, they need not be a part of my life. I miss the days of TRUE building with BEAUTIFUL human beings, deep thoughts, deep souls, deep conversations, intense times. Gone are the days when everyone around me challenges my mind and challenges me to be a better person. I have been forced to suffer through blah after blah after stupid idiot after lack of substance after blah blah blah.
Don't they make great people anymore?
I am tired of the chit chat, the empty conversations, the electronic exchanges, the back-and-forth about nonsense. It is draining me and it is pathetic. I am going to put an end to the pathos that is my life. (people reading this, no im not committing suicide, just eliminating the pathos)
Time to withdraw, reconnect, and soul search.
Time to finish this fucking book!!!
I always feel like...somebody's watching me...
Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
So I've decided to become a recluse for 2005. Why? Because all this hanging out shit aint ME. I'm a homebody. I feel no better than when I am at home, laying in bed, in front of a computer or the television or both. This is how I can think, really get into deep mental conversations with all the people living in my head.
Ok, so I know I sound crazy and people might think I have MPD, BUT I know the value of listening to oneself. Sometimes we listen to others too much, seeking advice and/or validation from other people. Who, more than I, can tell me what I need to know about myself?
So I am thinking that I will chill on the parties, the retreats, the weekend trips, etc. I am thinking that I will chill on the interaction with tangential personalities. I am thinking I will focus more on reconnecting with the people who matter the most to me; maybe finding some people I have lost along the way. There are some people I have encountered in life who have had profound effects on my life. I have only encountered ONE recently (meaning the last couple of years), and she knows who she is.
I seek real people. I seek people who help advance my life. No time for inertia or for people around bringing me down. I need to move forward and if people arent for that cause, they need not be a part of my life. I miss the days of TRUE building with BEAUTIFUL human beings, deep thoughts, deep souls, deep conversations, intense times. Gone are the days when everyone around me challenges my mind and challenges me to be a better person. I have been forced to suffer through blah after blah after stupid idiot after lack of substance after blah blah blah.
Don't they make great people anymore?
I am tired of the chit chat, the empty conversations, the electronic exchanges, the back-and-forth about nonsense. It is draining me and it is pathetic. I am going to put an end to the pathos that is my life. (people reading this, no im not committing suicide, just eliminating the pathos)
Time to withdraw, reconnect, and soul search.
Time to finish this fucking book!!!
posted by MBT4679 at 12/17/2004 02:27:00 PM
1 Comments:
Girl, you sound so much like me, I am tryna get my book done too. And I am sick a bullsh*t conversation with bullsh*t people. I love beng a homebody, and 2005 is gonna be all about that. I am also cleaning house, getting rid of people in my life that I don't need. My new motto is: If you are not for me, you are against me, and it's time for you to go...
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