Would You Be A Lamb & Get Me A Banana Cognac Beyotch??!!
So I had a GREAT post and fucking IE ate my shit up
bitches!!!
ok lemme see if I can even remember hald of what I wrote. *rolling eyes*
Life has been great lately and I havent had time to come and blog, but I mean everything I think about writing is the EXACT crap I dont like reading on other people's blogs. I dont particularly give a rat's ass about anyone's relationships, sex lives (ok well that is cool but only if you give GRAPHIC details), who is wishing upon a star to be able to fuck who. I could care less, so why should I think anyone is interested in my personal life?
"Like anyone worthy, I am flattered by your fascination with me"
Top 5 Alannis "You Cant Do That On Television" Morrisette:
1. Uninvited
2. Head Over Feet
3. Not The Doctor
4. You Oughta Know
5. Thank You
I mean ok yall read this shit right, so you must dig what I'm saying. Am I engaging enough for you? Well engage this. I'm stuck on the word 'BITCH' and I blame Melanie Dionne Williams for this. She has caused this word to become my pronoun of choice. It is terrible because it reminds me of Philadelphian's use of the word "JAWN". *cringing*
Top 5 things I hate about Philadelphia:
1. "JAWN"-- come up with a new word folks. This is NOT the end all, be all pronoun, ok??!! Ex. "I was at the jawn talking on my jawn right, when this jawn walked by the jawn. So I got out my jawn to get her jawn so I could call her when I got to my jawn later tonight after we come back from the jawn"
SHUT......THE......FUCK.....UP
2. Fashion-- Poor, poor Philly, wedged in between Fashion Epicentre (NYC) and Fashion Hades (DC), suffers from the inability to establish a workable fashion sense. Notice I said "workable" because you had better believe those folks THINK they are doing shit right lol. Philly Chic = "Glamourized" Kuntry Bumpkin. *smh*
3. Loyalty-- Philadelphians are some of the most loyal folks and they will make non-Philadelphians resent every celebrity they produce. This happens because Philly oversaturates its communities with its celebs, thus creating a general resentment towards said people. This happened to me with Musiq Soulchild and Jill Scott. Musiq has since recovered and is one of my fav artists, Jill still suffers. Good thing I loved Boyz II Men pre-Philly habitation.
4. Tackheads-- Why do Philly women think buying a $.99 color-of-the-week clump of hair and tacking it atop one's head is sexy? Oh, wait, because it matches your belt, handbag, shoes, tongue ring, bracelets, and car...it is sexy? Naw bitch [there goes that word again], its not.
5. Temple University-- Hate to tell ya, but YALL SUCK!! Yeah I said it!!! Folks STAY on campus, at our parties, eating all our food, but complaining about shit. Get ya OWN relays and then we can talk. UPENN Beyotchessssssssss!!!
Fuck you very much Melanie for making me cuss. The lord know my heart.
So, yeah, life is plantanos, for real. Got my plane ticket to Chicago, got the rental car and the hotel, my girls are getting their shit on point. We are really about to do this shit MAN!! The Taste of Chicago, The Blogger "convention", and Chicago Pride. Bung, bung!! Check it out, boom... shit is plantanos...
So Aaron McGruder was talking about expanding slang right. If you don't know who that is, stop reading my blog right now because you do NOT deserve to be here. Anyway, *aww shit "Glacier's of Ice" just came on...head nod* people know I say, "That's bananas!" a lot. Well, Mr McGruder suggested that you take an already recognizeable slang term, and upgrade it:
Ex. "Dough" which means "Money" [if you didnt know that, GET OUT NOW!]
Step up dough one notch and you get Pillsbury. In a sentence:
I need to stay on my grind so I can stack my Pillsbury
Ok so Papi was like, yeah baby I got you... that's plantanos!!
Told Mel, it caught on. Plantanos!!! I tell ya!
Top 5 Slang phrases I use regularly:
1. "Word"--I never let this one go from the 80s. Didnt have to resurrect it; it never left.
2. "Hot Shit"-- yeah let's think about this shit for a minute. Hot... Shit. We use this to describe something good. 'Yo, that's that hot shit right there' and it means that something is really GOOD, right? But 'Yo, that's a hot shitty mess' means it is bad, right? Whatever, I say "Hot Shit" a lot.
3. "Hot Titus"-- if you don't know, you won't know.
4. "Aight"-- Don't we all use this? Isnt it in the dictionary? LOL
5. "Fuck me, Daddy"-- ok, so maybe that isn't slang, but I say that shit a LOT!! LMAO
So can my man and my ace never crack on ME cuz I'm enjoying a mini-music movie marathon? I mean, can't I skip to the music scenes of Glitter, Purple Rain, Under The Cherry Moon, Sarafina, and Graffiti Bridge if I want to? Can't I get up and dance? Can he NEVER throw a quarter at me cuz he had no singles? Can that quarter never be followed up by a Metrocard??? And then can he not tell her that there are 6 rides left on the Metrocard?? I hate them both. For real. I do.
Ok so I have some work to do, I'll holla!!
bitches!!!
ok lemme see if I can even remember hald of what I wrote. *rolling eyes*
Life has been great lately and I havent had time to come and blog, but I mean everything I think about writing is the EXACT crap I dont like reading on other people's blogs. I dont particularly give a rat's ass about anyone's relationships, sex lives (ok well that is cool but only if you give GRAPHIC details), who is wishing upon a star to be able to fuck who. I could care less, so why should I think anyone is interested in my personal life?
"Like anyone worthy, I am flattered by your fascination with me"
Top 5 Alannis "You Cant Do That On Television" Morrisette:
1. Uninvited
2. Head Over Feet
3. Not The Doctor
4. You Oughta Know
5. Thank You
I mean ok yall read this shit right, so you must dig what I'm saying. Am I engaging enough for you? Well engage this. I'm stuck on the word 'BITCH' and I blame Melanie Dionne Williams for this. She has caused this word to become my pronoun of choice. It is terrible because it reminds me of Philadelphian's use of the word "JAWN". *cringing*
Top 5 things I hate about Philadelphia:
1. "JAWN"-- come up with a new word folks. This is NOT the end all, be all pronoun, ok??!! Ex. "I was at the jawn talking on my jawn right, when this jawn walked by the jawn. So I got out my jawn to get her jawn so I could call her when I got to my jawn later tonight after we come back from the jawn"
SHUT......THE......FUCK.....UP
2. Fashion-- Poor, poor Philly, wedged in between Fashion Epicentre (NYC) and Fashion Hades (DC), suffers from the inability to establish a workable fashion sense. Notice I said "workable" because you had better believe those folks THINK they are doing shit right lol. Philly Chic = "Glamourized" Kuntry Bumpkin. *smh*
3. Loyalty-- Philadelphians are some of the most loyal folks and they will make non-Philadelphians resent every celebrity they produce. This happens because Philly oversaturates its communities with its celebs, thus creating a general resentment towards said people. This happened to me with Musiq Soulchild and Jill Scott. Musiq has since recovered and is one of my fav artists, Jill still suffers. Good thing I loved Boyz II Men pre-Philly habitation.
4. Tackheads-- Why do Philly women think buying a $.99 color-of-the-week clump of hair and tacking it atop one's head is sexy? Oh, wait, because it matches your belt, handbag, shoes, tongue ring, bracelets, and car...it is sexy? Naw bitch [there goes that word again], its not.
5. Temple University-- Hate to tell ya, but YALL SUCK!! Yeah I said it!!! Folks STAY on campus, at our parties, eating all our food, but complaining about shit. Get ya OWN relays and then we can talk. UPENN Beyotchessssssssss!!!
Fuck you very much Melanie for making me cuss. The lord know my heart.
So, yeah, life is plantanos, for real. Got my plane ticket to Chicago, got the rental car and the hotel, my girls are getting their shit on point. We are really about to do this shit MAN!! The Taste of Chicago, The Blogger "convention", and Chicago Pride. Bung, bung!! Check it out, boom... shit is plantanos...
So Aaron McGruder was talking about expanding slang right. If you don't know who that is, stop reading my blog right now because you do NOT deserve to be here. Anyway, *aww shit "Glacier's of Ice" just came on...head nod* people know I say, "That's bananas!" a lot. Well, Mr McGruder suggested that you take an already recognizeable slang term, and upgrade it:
Step up dough one notch and you get Pillsbury. In a sentence:
I need to stay on my grind so I can stack my Pillsbury
Ok so Papi was like, yeah baby I got you... that's plantanos!!
Told Mel, it caught on. Plantanos!!! I tell ya!
Top 5 Slang phrases I use regularly:
1. "Word"--I never let this one go from the 80s. Didnt have to resurrect it; it never left.
2. "Hot Shit"-- yeah let's think about this shit for a minute. Hot... Shit. We use this to describe something good. 'Yo, that's that hot shit right there' and it means that something is really GOOD, right? But 'Yo, that's a hot shitty mess' means it is bad, right? Whatever, I say "Hot Shit" a lot.
3. "Hot Titus"-- if you don't know, you won't know.
4. "Aight"-- Don't we all use this? Isnt it in the dictionary? LOL
5. "Fuck me, Daddy"-- ok, so maybe that isn't slang, but I say that shit a LOT!! LMAO
So can my man and my ace never crack on ME cuz I'm enjoying a mini-music movie marathon? I mean, can't I skip to the music scenes of Glitter, Purple Rain, Under The Cherry Moon, Sarafina, and Graffiti Bridge if I want to? Can't I get up and dance? Can he NEVER throw a quarter at me cuz he had no singles? Can that quarter never be followed up by a Metrocard??? And then can he not tell her that there are 6 rides left on the Metrocard?? I hate them both. For real. I do.
Ok so I have some work to do, I'll holla!!
posted by MBT4679 at 6/09/2005 03:43:00 PM
2 Comments:
Dayum!! My WHOLE gubment shit, lmfao! That was funny for real. Wait until he has you fetching things out of the vestibule...BEYOTCH!!
WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!!!!!!!!! I was JUST about to congratulate you on your discovery of the pronoun bitch (as brought forth by my during-tax-season-baby-mama) until you started with the Temple hate. STOP!!!! When all the cornball dudes of your alma mater hate on T.U. i attribute that to the fact that they are cornballs and they hated the fact that a thoroughbred (like myself) would come to their campus and scoop all of their bunnies. Your hate is just unwarranted. If you do not rescind said statement I will be rescinding all rights that you have to travel freely through Harlem. This means if you are caught anywhere in the neighborhood you will be forced to run your shit and you will have your kufi smacked even (no make that ESPECIALLY) if you are not wearing a kufi!!! T.U. MUTHFUUUCCKKAAA T.U!!!!!
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