Thank You, Please Drive Through

Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
Big baby Jesus, I can't wait
N---a fuck that, I can't wait...
...
...
...You couldnt even move, don't know how to groove
Bitch take off ya shoes and stink up the room
Muthafucka you knew, fucking with the dude
Dirt dog dont mean to be rude...
-ODB aka Big Baby Jesus "I Can't Wait"

Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
Yeah, that was kind of random, but damn don't we just love ODB? I mean dang. lol


Why do people sign onto instant messenger services only to put up a status or away message that reads "Do NOT I.M. me" or "Not in the mood to chat right now"? Why the fuck did you even sign on you stupid moron? If you really don't want anyone to i.m. you, stay your ass off of the instant messenger service. What you REALLY want is the attention they are starving for and for people to ask "Awwww What's wrong?" or "You mean me too?"...
Thank you, please drive through

Who on God's green earth came up with the concept of "overstand"? No, really. Someone leave a comment and explain this shit to me. Please. Ok, I used to wear locs. I used to be a frontline tree-hugging nappy protestor for the afroman's cause. I still have some black power-isms in me. But do people who say "overstand" really think they are making any sense? Do they think they are bucking the system by saying this? It is like feminists spelling womAn and womYn. Ok hairy pit, stop it. I mean really, what the hell does "overstand" mean or represent, aside from the fact that some folks are a few bean pies short of a worthy cause...
Thank you, please drive through

If you call me, and I tell you that I love you but I'm watching one of my favorite shows and that I will call you back, why do you keep talking? I mean c'mon now. I said I will call you back, and you keep talking. Why do you make me fight the urge to scream "shut the fuck up!!" cuz CSI is doing their instrumental scene. That is KEY evidence you are distracting me from. Or when Lucas and Peyton cannot figure out if they are going to kiss or kill each other. This is SERIOUS. Do not call me during a reward challenge on Survivor, ok? I said I will call you back gatdammit...

Thank you, please drive through

Crackheads can read. Crackheads have some degree of reading comprehension skills. I know this. I've seen examples of this. I have a sign on my office door that reads "We are NO longer accepting NEW participants for our study. Thank you for your interest. Peace, Research Team". Why do crackheads knock on my door and when I say come in, the crack the door, stand in front of it and read "We..are no..longer...accepting..new participants..for our study..." then look at me and ask "Say sweetheart, how can I be a part of this study? How much does it pay? What is it about?" ...
Thank you, please drive through

I play my iPod at work now, and before this, I played my CDs. I often play N.E.R.D. because they fucking rock. Well, I work with some folks who aren't as "diverse" in their musical tastes. Some folks are content keeping Robert "Chester Child Molestor" Kelly and Fantasia "Baby Mama" Barrino on repeat. Fine. Ok. One cat was like "Yo I cant fuck with that white music shit man, yo why you always playing that?" So I said to him, "No one in this group is white, what are you talking about?" He was like "you know what I'm saying, man, that fucking rock and roll shit" I simply rolled my eyes and said, "There is a school of thought that believe wholeheartedly that BLACK people created Rock-n-Roll" He was like "whatever man that white shit is wack"...
Thank you, please drive through

Coworkers telling me I should have left the $12.99 Black Man Magnet in my head because it makes me look sexier...
Thank you, please drive through

I appreciate the love on the Dick-N-Dinner Tour concept. Balls-N-Breakfast, Licking-N-Lunch, all of that, I'm loving how the shit is literally spreading nation-wide. Ladies, I am definitely feeling the release from social bondage and the script-flipping. However, use the terms with caution. Please do not do chickenheaded (yes...yes I did say 'headED')things in the name of D & D. Please. Getting dinner from a man is one thing. Getting dinner and dick from an involved/married man is another. Getting knocked up or burned is anti-sexy. No Lady Saw-isms round these parts...
Thank you, please drive through