Williams Family Hurricane Relief Fund

Hey people

I am here to talk about a serious matter

We all know that Hurricane Katrina is ripping through the southernmost parts of our nation. It is causing destruction and wiping out cities

80% of New Orleans is under water

Things brings me to my point

One of my best friends in this world is a victim of Hurrican Katrina. Many of you know her and have interacted with her online or via her blog Mel's Oasis.

On Saturday, she called me to say that she was packing up her two children, Tyson (6) and Jaedyn (4) to head to Shreveport because they were being evacuated. They have had to evacuate in the past, but have always been able to come home a few days later. This time was VERY different.

Melanie called me this morning to inform me that everything she had was gone. Her entire home was underwater. 80% of her city has been destroyed. Many lives have been lost. Thank God she and the kids got out ok.

Now they have nothing to return to. They are currently in Shreveport with her sister. Melanie has no home or job to return to.

Many of you are out there wondering how you can help. It is hard to trust organizations like the Red Cross and others, who sometimes exploit and steal from victims of these disasters. NOw you have a Name and Three Faces to put on the disaster.

I am calling for EVERYONE to make a contribution to the Williams Family Hurrican Relief Fund

You might not know Melanie. You might know her and not like her. You might know her and love her. You might just want to know that your contribution to the hurricane is going somewhere.

All Monetary donations can be mailed to:
Melanie D. Williams
c/o Shaun Phillips
4650 Lakeshore Drive
Apt 44
Shreveport, LA 71109

Please send money orders and checks made out to MELANIE D. WILLIAMS. Indicate that they are for the Hurricane Relief. Retain all stubs, as you can write off these gifts as charitable donations.

If you are interested in sending clothing donations, toys, books, etc. Please do

Melanie wears a size 18W and her son Tyson wears a boy's 10 and her daughter Jaedyn wears a size 5T. They need everything from shirts, pants, shoes [10 for Mel, 10 in girls for Jae, and 2 in boys for Ty], art/coloring books for the kids, dolls for Jae, building blocks, underclothes, sweaters, jackets, skirts, etc.

All of these can be mailed to the address above.
All donations will be accepted and receipts will be mailed to all donors.

This woman has been a sister to me for as long as I have known her. I am doing this because I love her and I wish I could do more.

Time to rally together people. WE have a sister in need. This is what community is all about!!!!

I saw this on Chele's blog and was like, fuck it, I'm home today why not.


LAST...
Movie you watched: Skulls II
Movie you bought : Big Black Cocks [I forget the #]
Song you listened to: Touch by Omarion [the video was on]
CD you bought : Fly Or Die by N.E.R.D.
CD you listened to : Mos Def & Talib Kweli are Blackstarr
Person you've called : My homegirl LaQuisha [nickname]
Person that's called you : My hubby
TV show you watched : Steve Harvey Show

DO...
You have a crush on someone : Naw, but I'm desperately in love with someone
You wish you could live somewhere else : Maybe for a year or two, but there is no place like New York City
You believe in online dating : I believe in people using the internet to meet people, but I do not believe in living one's life and relationship on the internet. Once you meet in cyber space, you ought to take it to the real and tangible world ASAP.
You want more piercings : I want my tongue ring back, but I doubt if I will do it. Im getting old and there is nothing worse than seeing people over 25 with tongue rings.
You like roller coasters : No.
You write in cursive or print : My handwriting is a unique combination of both

FOR OR AGAINST...
Long distance relationships : Against. I have tried them and in my opinion, they are not for me. Some people say they work; some folks are lucky to find people willing to be on the same page. Personally, I need to have someone near me. Last time I cared for someone at a distance, he used it as an excuse for us to not be "together". After experiencing such cowardice, I decided that a man needs to live in my city.

Gay/lesbian relationships : Whatever floats a person's boat, it isnt for me to judge.

HAVE YOU...
Ever cried over a boy: Yes.
Ever cried over a girl : Yes.
Ever lied to someone : Of course
Ever been in a fist fight : Naw. Things have never gotten that far. I dont believe in that gutter shit. Besides, most folks have been too scared to fight me, and that has been just fine for me.

WHAT...
Shampoo do you use : Sulfur 8
Shoes do you wear : The ones on my feet
Are you scared of : Failure and other things...

NUMBER...
of times I have been in love? : Truly? Once. How many times have I convinced myself and others that I was in love? Countless times.

of times I have had my heart broken? : A lot
of hearts I have broken? : Aint nobody ever cared enough about me for me to break his heart
of times my name has appeared in the paper? : A number of times
of things in my past that I regret? : A number of things I am sure, just cannot think of any now. Oh wait, yes, getting involved with my ex, that was a year in my life wasted.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE...
Pretty : Not really.
Funny : Nope
Hot : Nope
Friendly : To my friends
Amusing : Naw
Ugly : Most days
Loveable : Most days, no
Caring : i try to be
Sweet : No
Dorky : Basically lol

FAVORITE...
4 letter word : Love.
Actor/actress : Johnny Depp/ Kimberly Elise
Cartoon : Family Guy
Cereal : Anythign with bran or oats in it
Chewing gum : Wrigley's Doublemint
Color(s) :Carolina blue
Day of the week : Sunday
Least fave day : Tuesday
Flower : Daisies and Sunflowers
Jelly flavor : Purple
Jewelry : Chandelier Earrings
Summer/Winter: Winter

WHO LAST
Slept in your bed : Papi
Saw you cry : Papi
Made you cry : Papi
Yelled at you : Papi
Sent you an email: Someone looking for an apartment

HAVE YOU EVER...
Said "I love you" and meant it? : yes
Kept a secret from everyone : yes all of the time
Cried during a movie : yes
Planned your week based on the TV : no
Been backstage : yes many times
Been to New York : duh i live here
Been to California : yes
Hawaii : no
China : no
Canada : yes
Europe : no
Asia : no
South America : no
Africa : no
What time is it now? : 4:09 p.m.
This or That? what?
Apples or bananas? : apples
Blue or red? : blue
Walmart or Target? : target i guess
Spring or Fall? : fall
What are you gonna do after you finish this? : sit on the couch
Was the last meal you ate? : bowl of cereal
Are you bored? : yes
Last noise you heard? : TV
Last smell you sniffed? : my fart

Friendship/Love...
Do you believe in love at first sight? : I dont know about the whole "sight" thing but I do believe two people can feel that instant connection at their first meeting. it jsut takes our minds a while to accept the connection as love, because society teaches us not to believe in love at first sight and we are socialized to hide our feelings.
Do you want children one day & if so, how many? : yes of course
Most important thing to you in a friendship is : the other person

Other Info ...
Do you speak any other languages? : Spanish
Last book you read? : Cant remember
Thing in your bedroom you like? : My bag of sex toys
Your Nickname(s) : None of your business
Initials : MBW
How old do you act? : I dont "act" I just am
Glasses/Contacts : glasses
Braces : when i was younger
Do you have any pets? : i had a cat until last saturday
You get embarrassed : sometimes
What makes you happy? : my man, my friends, and im working on the rest
What upsets you? : stupid people, this war, poverty, AIDS

Finish the sentence...
I Love to...eat
I Miss...my man
I Am Annoyed by...people older than me who think they know better than me or dont take me seriously or discard my point of view because they think their age makes them superior
I Want to be...a wife, mother, grandmother, author

Friends... How Many Of Us Have Them

Danjaruz Demeanor:
Thankful

Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
"What about your friends?
Will They stand their ground?
Will they let you down again?
What about your friends?
Will they be low down?
Will they ever be around?
Or will they turn their backs on you?

Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:

Recently, I have been running into a lot of people from my past. Some people I considered really great friends at the point I knew them, others people I knew from different points in my life. I have also been in touch with people who have been constants in my life, but with whom I do not speak as much. This is amazing to me. In some cases, I talked some of these people up.

Exhibit A: I had a long talk with my boyfriend about some of my friends from college, and how right after graduation, some things went down and we all sort of went out different ways. I explained some of the key players. One of those young women was Sandra* [not her real name]and she and I were roommates sophomore year. She and I also majored in the same field, and were involved in the Arts scene at school. I explained to him how she was one of the sweetest, honest, beautiful people I had ever had the privilege to know, and how a mutual friend of ours had done some really foul shit to her, and in essence all of us. He violated our circle of friends, chasing after pussy. We were all disappointed, but I was pissed off mostly at him for hurting her because she is someone who didnt deserve it. Through other people, I tracked her over the last 3 years, found out she'd gone on to graduate school and was persuing her dreams of being a dancer and writer via arts administration. This past Saturday, we ran into her at the Harlem Day Festival. I was standing on the corner with my hubby and step-daughter and I heard someone call my name. When I turned around and saw her, I almost dropped what I had in my hands trying to run to her. We hugged so tightly and I could not believe she was there. Last I heard, she was still in Philadelphia, but no one had her address or telephone number. She gave me her cell phone number and I called her phone. She had my number stored, but wasnt sure if it was still valid. This was SO amazing to me. I know now that I will NOT lose contact with her and I look forward to us spendng more time together.

Side Note: I realize every now and then that my an and I were destined to be together. Another piece of evidence came last night when we went to his best friend's house, cuz moms was cooking and you know how that goes. I was sitting on a couch and looked at some mail sitting on the arm. I saw a name that I remembered from high school, but almost couldn't believe it. it was such a unique name that I had to ask best friend about it. After comparing notes, he was convinced it was the same person, and after we left, he called this guy, who is in fact his first cousin. We are on the phone talking and catching up and I am yet again amazed at how I am reconnecting with someone from the past, but also that this person is only 3 degrees away from me in terms of familial connections. AMAZING!!

So because of this connection with this guy from high school, I called my best friend from high school to tell her about it. Mind you, I havent spoken to her in a couple of months. See, she is going to be my maid of hono and godmother to my first born, but we only speak maybe 4 or 5 times a year and we see each other maybe once a year. We are perfectly fine with this because this is the nature of our relationship. She only lives in Newark too, go figure lol. Anyway, she and I were able to talk and catch up, as is our way, and of course it felt like we just spoke last week. I love the relationship that she and I have because we give each other space, but not too much that we lose touch, yet we dont stifle each other, which caters to both of our personalities. Aside from my boyfriend, I only have one other friend that I speak to at length daily, and one other friend i speak to daily but shirt convos. I just cannot be bothered, and I realized that. I dont need to have people all up under me, nor do I need to be up under anybody else. Some folks don't understand that and as a result, I've "lost" a number of "friends" *shrug* My high school friend and I have been friends for 12 years and our system works. People I have had in my life and spoken to everyday lasted a few months. imagine that.

So a few weeeks ago, Papi and I were walking and a woman came up to me and was like "Michelle?" and I was like yes? and she was like "Did you go to De La Salle Academy?" and I was like yeah? And she introduced herself and I swear I would give money to see the look on my face. She was one of my closest friends in JHS, but I didnt remember her because she lost about half the weight she had back then and she seemed shorter for some reason. But there were 4 of us. We called ourselves the "Bond Of Love". We hung out, read romance novels, and looked out for each other. Ironically, I had run into another member of the bond 2 years earlier and the mother of the last girl at the festival the same day I ran into Sandra*. Funny how things come full-circle eh? This woman was someone I have known for 14 years man... that is a LONG time.

These were people who, at some point in my life, were some of the closest people to me. Circumstances often seperate people, especially when you are tooyoung to understand the value of keeping in touch. After JHS, most of us went off to different boarding schools in different states. Stopped attending reunions at JHS. Go off to college, some folks go abroad, you meet new people. High school folks I have been reconnecting with a lot lately through friendstar.com I swear this is one of the best things. LOL. I have found at least 20-25 high school folks I was cool with.

This whole reconnection thing means something big but I dont know what yet. Maybe it symbolizes my growth and the fact that yes, everything does come full circle. Maybe it is designed to remind me of what real friendships are and were or what real people were like. It is showing me that even though the closest people to my heart might not be the closest to me physically, they are no less important. I cannot try and fill their spots with fluffy people full of nothing but shit. I remind myself that I do not have to settle, because at some point, I had all different types of people calling me "friend", not talking shit about me, not hating on me, not trying to cause drama for me, not stalking me, not overly concerned with my personal business.

My best friend from high school was like "you know what? if you need to find me, I'm either home or somewhere with my man. you know why? because I dont need to be running the streets. I know who my friends are, where they are, and how to get to them. They are few in number and Im cool with that" She was so right and I agree with her 100%

****12 more days until the NYC blogers do it up!!!***

NYC Blogger MEET UP

the itinerary is done folks

check out the site, follow directions, *smile*

NYC Meet Up Blog

Hope to see many of you there!!

Good Lord Things Are Wonderfully Crazy

Danjaruz Demeanor:
Frazzled


Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
Hey folks!!! This is what has been going down in the world of Danja

1. I found someone to take in my kitty, Giz. I am SO happy about this because I was so worried about what would happen to him if I had to take him to a shelter. I love him but he needs to be with someone else. My coworker is going to take him in, so I can keep up with him and know that he is well-cared for.

2. Papi is moving into my house next week. Since the Parkchester demons have decided to grab me by the ovaries until the end of my lease, we decided this would be the best move. So I'm having the exterminator come and I am going to clean my apartment from top to bottom since I really havent been staying there. I stayed overnight last night for the first time in like two months. It was weird, partially because he is away on a business trip and I miss him terribly and partially because it felt weird to be at my apartment since I have gotten so comfortable living in Harlem.

3. I have had the chance to spend a lot of time with my step-daughter this past week. We have had her since her mom was on a business trip. I'm so happy that he has allowed me to join in on raising her. She and I have grown very close over the past few months and we have our own special relationship. We had to drop her off at his mom's house and she grabbed me so tight; she didnt want to leave. I admit I got emotional, as it was hard to let her go, even though I know she will be back tomorrow. He told me he feels blessed to have me in his life helping him raise her. My mom and I took her to Chuck E. Cheese this past sunday with my cousin's two sons, cuz he had to work. She had the BEST time and, as expected, did not want to leave. She liked my mom and they got along well, and she even clicked with the boys. She is getting really good at potty training now and the words I hear most often are "M'chelle [this is how it sounds coming from her] I gah go peepee". Have you ever heard more precious words? *sigh* Moms was like "Welcome to Motherhood" Yeah, it is SO much easier when you can give them back lol. But seriously, I welcome the job. And that "hurry up the baby is sleeping nd might wake up" sex is definitely exciting.

4. I am excited about the NYC blogger gathering. I am going to link up with Golden somehow and solidify the plans. I havent had much computer access but I am going to make sure we have a great time labor day weekend.

5. I upgraded my cable package. Now that the bill will be split 50/50, I can get MORE channels and pay much less than I was paying alone. This is big to me, folks. Staying with him, i have gotten used to having a multitude of options for television programming. Now, we will have it at my home. Anyone check out Battle Of The Network Reality Stars last night? It was good, I'm hooked already. So You Think You Can Dance is another show I'm hooked on too. Oh, and Being Bobby Brown. Even Papi watches that and he HATES reality television. We also have our daily doses of The Family Guy, which we are both SO glad they brought back with new episodes. Who is with me? LOL

6. Not having internet access has shown me how much I don't miss it or care much about it. I mean I sign onto yahoo messenger and prolly only talk to one or two people. I dont reach out to folks and folks dont reach out to me, and interestingly enough, I am perfectly ok with this. My email inbox is full of things that I dont really need to read about and my life goes on without it. I find that I have fun going out with my peoples or my boyfriend and his/our friends. My favorite thing, though, is when I can sit at home, have my man cook me dinner, put my feet up, and watch a good movie with him, cuddled up, laughing, talking, comparing ideas about it, etc. Before he and I began dating, I had decided to take a break from all of the partying, drinking, clubbing, etc. There just comes a point when you just ease up and stop. Some people dont know what that point is, and it varies for many, but for me the time came earlier than most. Im in my mid-twenties and I have retred my clubbing, lol. This is not to say I wont go out dancing in a club or head to a lounge for socializing every now and then, because I know I will and I have been. But this routine of going out every weekend and sometimes during the week is over, so very over lol. Some folks ignored the memo when they got it years ago.

7. The book is coming along well. I feel good about this one folks!


That is about it for me folks. Sorry to disappoint those of you who would like me to update it more often. Look for more once my net access at work is up and running.

Pre-Weekend Jibber Jabber

Danjaruz Demeanor:
Jerk-offish

Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
giveit away, give it away, give it away now

Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
so yeah, im giving my cat up for adoption. Before I take him back to North Shore Animal league tomorrow, if anyone wants him, let me know. Why, you ask? Well a number of reasons. My boyfriend is allergic to him, he is very clingy and cannot be left alone for long stretches of time, and I do not want a pet when we move to our new home.

So my management company has locked me into this lease, so we decided that he will come stay with me until my lease is over. This way, we can save even more money, I can pay off my debts, and we will be a lot closer to getting a car. We will also have more time to find the *perfect* home. [the good deal on the 4 bedroom comes complete with a shady landlord who likes to call people at 11:35 p.m.-- what the fuck?]

Anyway, I'm home today. We are finally moved in completely and I anticipate being able to get back into the swing of things on Monday. Still not internet access, though. I hear it might be two weeks.

I did a very rough draft of the prologue and asked someone to read it. It went unread. That was disappointing, and reminds me why I am not big on sharing what I write; the responses are taken to heart. I get excited about something dear to me that other people might not be as excited about, and that is ok. I will just keep it to myself from now on.

My girl Touwanna wrote a blog about sistas doing well career-wise and socially dealing with men who aren't on their level in terms of education, finances, social abilities, etc. I feel her on the things she wrote because I have been in situations where I have treated men like charity cases. I am the helpful type, always trying to help those in need, and that also applies to friends and lovers. I guess that is why it feels so nice, albeit uncomfortable sometimes, to have someone take care of me. I have been out with men significantly older than me who had no steady employment and I found myself often paying their way. I didnt mind, and in the back of my mind I knew they were using me [and that whole "well i never asked u to do it" thing is for the birds] but i felt charitable. I mean hey, people gotta eat right? But in this giving, was I enabling these men? Was i sending an infantilizing message? That is one of the things I know some men cannot handle; a woman who is better off than they are and they cannot provide for the woman. It puts them in positions of inferiority and makes them feel bad in ways that cause them to lash out at women. They tend to find so many things wrong with the women.

Fuck it. Starve then bitch!
See if I ever feel sorry for these non-working, uneducated fuckahs again!!!

Ahem, bringing it back to center.
Ohmmmmmmm. Ohmmmmmmm. lol.

You ever get the feeling that things are being said about you that arent exactly true or that people have the wrong idea about you? Yeah, i say fuck it too lol.

Imma miss my kitty =(

I think I am addicted to porn and masturbation, is that bad? If you plan a time of day, the video, the instrument, the mood music, and the scenery for a masturbation "session", you might be addicted to masturbation. I still cannot believe in this day and age there are women who do not own sex toys like dildos or vibrators. That is a shammockery!!! They get to "the point" talking bout, "fingers dont fail me now"... shiiiiiiiiiit vrooom vrooom biznatches

You ever spend so much time engaging with someone that you assume some of his/her mannerisms/speech patterns? I'm beginning to understand the effects of close relationships. You adapt other people' actions. Like nowadays, i tend to call Mel while Im on the toilet. I got that shit from her!! I swear I did. And Im beginning to enunciate my cuss words the same as my boyfriend. I tell ya...*smh*

So yeah since I dont have to do any real moving, the NYC blogger Meet Up is SO on and popping. Dont worry folks, I am working on putting together the itinerary, but it is getting close now, so make those travel arrangements now!!!!!!

Tuesday Masturbation

Danjaruz Demeanor:

Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:

Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:

Ok so my job has ben moving for what seems like forever. Ihave no internet access but my office is the bomb. Our new building is so nice and high tech n shit, we look like a legitimate business lol. Let us see how long his lasts before people manage to turn it to shit. My first office was super nice, very big, but then they moved me to another spot. The new spot is fine too. I still have my own office and I have practiced closing my door and blocking people out, but it is on the second floor. I guess that is ok though because the location gives me even MORE privacy. but yeah, we still arent open for business so I still feel like I am on partial vacation.

I'm still mourning the loss of my laptop, especially considering that my writer's block is gone and the book is really happening. I have finally settled on the story i want to tell, have it all outlined, characters are set. I wrote a rough draft of the first chapter and realized I was taking the easy way out. I was writing a book for the fans of books by EJD.ickey and Omar Tyree or those stupid ass ghetto fiction novels. That is too easy; money making, but too easy. I dont want to go out like that. So I have been taking my time, making sure I am writing this book the way I want to write it. It might mean that it doesn't sell as well, but oh well. I will feel good knowing I have written the book I wanted to write.

I work on it at work, and it will be much easier now that I have my own office.

I havent been reading other blogs and keeping up like I used to simply because I have had neither time nor access to do so. We have a computer at home, but when I am home, I don't spend a lot of time on the computer. I have other things to do lol.

A friend with whom I recently reconnected told me she spoke to someone we used to be friends with and said that the woman was a bit short with her. I said fuck her. Thats my feeling about most things lately. Especially people. Everything is like, fuck it. Im a different person, unwilling to deal with past b.s. if folks are still stuck in the past and stewing in their own incompetance, that isnt my problem. She has the same birthday as Papi. [BIG BIRTHDAY SHOUT OUT TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE 8/1/05... ONE MORE YEAR AND YOU ARE 30 OLD MAN, BUT I LOVE U SO MUCH I WILL COLOR YOUR GRAY HAIRS WHEN THEY COME IN, EVEN YOUR PUBIES LOLLLLL]

Anyway, im really focused on moving. This apartment we got is in the works but the landlord says he is working on some things [getting people out, cleaning apt, etc]. As he works on some things, we are going to keep looking. Never put your eggs all in one basket. We are still moving by the 1st and we are both so excited to begin this stage of our life together.

I realize that I have really been out of the loop. People around me have so much going on that I am totally oblivious to. I am trying to reach out more to people nd find out what is going on. In fact, I hope people can drop me lines letting me know whats good [or bad] with them. Once I get moved and settled in both at work and at home, I think I will get back to keeping better in touch.

Now I need to masturbate lol

So long for now!!

Danjaruz Haiku:

Good thing come to those who suffer from a lot of bad shit

Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
we moving on up

Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
thank you to everyone who sent prayers and well wishes

we got an apartment, 4 bedrooms for $1400, nice neighborhood, beautiful apartment

we are SO happy and excited and we are moving september 1st

got a family reunion to attend this weekend, so he can meet ALL of my family [erry last one]

i think he is nervous, what yall think? lol

ill come back and let u know how it went next week