Hip-hopper For Life

Danjaruz Demeanor:
Hip-Hopperific

Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
If it wasn't for the Bronx, this rap shit probably never would be going on...

Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
Last night, I watched the Second Annual VH1 Hip Hop Honors

I have to say, off the bat, the innaugural event was much better

What I did not like about this year:

--The artists should not have been the main focus of their memory lane segments. I prefer that when someone is being honored, other people speak on their behalf, speak of how the person influenced or affected them, and give props [honors] to the people being honored. I thought that it was anti-climatic to have the artists sitting on stools talking about themselves. For a movement like Hip Hop, it is better to have one's peers speak of one's achievements, or have other people speak of the influence. It better illustrates Hip Hop's pervasive nature.

--Reverend Run and Russell Simmons hosting = terrible choice. Everytime Russell opens his mouth, he sounds like a mumble-mouthed moron. Reverence Run lost me with the plugging of a reality show he needs not be doing. I understand why they were chosen, theoretically, but they were not effective hosts.

--More should have been done for Salt-N-Pepa in terms of performances. Everyone else had people performing their work in some shape or form. I thought the choice of What A Man was poor, as it was not a pioneering song. Hip Hop honors claims to honor those who pioneer the way, so the music represented should reflect that. Push It or Let's Talk About Sex would have been more appropriate.

--Interview with Lil' Kim. This was misplaced and totally out of the realm of what this show was about. They interviewed her because she was going to jail. While I recognize Kim as being a Hip Hop Icon [yes, people, she is... face it], I do not think the interview with Fab Five Freddy should have aired right before the show. I will also add Lil Cease to the mix. His honoring Biggie was ill-placed as well. As much as people have a problem with Kim, she wasn't the one who sold out her people and for that she is serving a year in jail. These rap cats talk so much about the streets and respecting codes, honoring street laws, hating snitches, but when it came down to it, cats like Lil Cease sold out anyone they could, including someone close to them. Biggie would never have done that and we all know that. For him to be up there acting like he is honoring Biggie is beyond me.

What I liked:

--Nelly honoring LL Cool J. Say what you want about Nelly, hell I will even say it with you. Nelly did his thing and personified LL in his performance of "I'm Bad". Even down to the way he was dressed, his movements, and his taking off his jacket to reveal that physique that the Ladies Love. We know why Ciara was there, but whatever. I liked her new hair color. I'm glad she let the blonde tresses go and I am hoping more women will follow.

-- BIG DADDY KANE Nuff Said. Kane warmed it up and made the evening alive. he showed the ole skool folks how to do keep it fresh. kane has always been a great performer though, plus he has been doing shows around town, so he has had more recent practice than many others [S-N-P admitted to only having a week of preparation after 6 years of seperation]. The entire Kane segment was the hypest. From my ex-baby daddy T.I. participating in the Smooth Operator segment to Tariq a.k.a. Black Thought of The Roots performing. If you have the Tipping Point, you have heard his Kane impersonation on the track "Boom" and you know, no one does Kane like he does. When Kane got up there and began to dance, I knew it was a wrap for the show. He stole it, easily. And still looked great.

--The selection of honorees. This year was a good follow-up to last year, though last year ought to have included at least one female honoree. I feel either Lyte or Latifah getting it next year. Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five are the unquestionable innovators, LL Cool J was one of the youngest to do it and one of the longest to maintain it, Ice-T is one of the most slept on Hip-Hoppers ever [in terms of his influence] mainly because he is from the west coast, Salt-N-Pepa paved the way and made it happen for the ladies, Boyz In The Hood opened America's eyes when their ears ignored N.W.A., Big Daddy Kane brought style and class to the look and sound of Hip-Hop, and no one can deny the major influence the Notorious B.I.G. had on Hip-Hop in the short time he was in the game.

Lil Kimberly Jones

I just wanted to add a small bit about Lil Kim. Kim is a hip-hop icon, there is no denying this fact. She came on the scene and ushered in a genre of sexual lyricism that had only been reserved for the raunchiest of male hip-hoppers. We can speculate and debate about the roots of such brash and sassy words, but she made it popular for women to talk about sex and money the way that the men did. Foxy Brown has bitten Kim's style in so many ways, it is unbelievable. I like Foxy, don't get me wrong, but I am not so ignorant that I ignore Kim's influence on her. Foxy has some songs that I listen to and I wonder why Kim has not sued her yet; the cadence, flow, and even random sounds are straight from the Lil Kim's Book Of Sex Rap. Eve would not have been able to prosper as a stripper-turned-rapper rolling with a group of men, had Kim not done it with Junior Mafia. Having a single female as the source of estrogen in a pack of men, or a "clique", or "fam" became popular with Lil Kim. Trina could not be the Baddest Chick talking about how much of her self-worth is in her behind, and Jackie O would be the Po' lil rich girl no one cared about. Yes, she has altered her physical appearance for reasons many can speculate upon, but to dismiss her as just some ho off the block would be unintelligent. You may not like what she says, you may not like how she represents herself, you may not even like how she looks, but you cannot take from her the impact she has had not only on female rappers but also male rappers that have come after her. While I do not agree with the Source giving Kim FIVE MICS on her latest effort, I understand why they did it. They did it to show support and solidarity for her. They did it to reward her for being a woman of her word and a woman of the streets. While I believe she is more than a little bit obsessed with Christopher Wallace, she did, on the stand, what he would have done; lied to protect his peoples without pointing any fingers or implicating herself. Now Kim will do her bid in jail and it will be talked about in the news. She will come out with more street cred and a slew of experiences to write about for her next album. Her current album will sell well like Shyne, but unlike Shyne, she won't be forgotten, because her bid is just short enough for her to remain relevant.

Hate it or Love it, this might be the best thing to happen to Kim's career.



All comments are welcome.

Paving the Way

Danjaruz Demeanor:
Reflective

Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
"Let's make a toast to those who helped make this occasion. They turned their backs on love and that's what drove you straight to me" -Shalimar

Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:


I have read a few blogs where people have made lists of past loves/romantic interests/bootycalls whatever, but I have avoided doing the same. Why? I believed they were worthless and not worth the energy.

I bought a new phone today and had to do some phone number transferring. As I thumbed through my phonebook, I noticed a lot of names of a lot of people that I would not be entering into my new phone. This got me to thinking about some men from my past, the girl/woman I was when I was with them, and how my interactions with them have helped me become the woman I am right now. they were not completely worthless, as it seems, but rather some of those necessary, character-building obstacles one must face..

So here are a few...in no particular order..ok maybe chronologically, but that is about it...

Man: The Abuser Age: 16-17, 19-20 This was my "first love". He was 24 when I first met him. I know, I know. Initially, I lied about my age, but when he found out how old I was, he should have walked away. He didn't. I would later come to understand that he was the type who needed to be in control, and he preyed on me because I was younger, vulnerable, and more susceptible to his controlling ways. I snuck away from school to see him, lied to my friends and family because of him, and did commited some acts that were against my personal values, to keep him happy. Eventually, we split, but later reconnected when I was 19. It was during this time that he became verbally and physically abusive. I was in college and hid it well. Eventually, it became too much to hide, and I made my way out of it. Took me 5 years to stop thinking about him at least once a day.

What I got from the experience: I learned that something in me could not leave an abusive man, something in me wanted to "help" him. This was my first experience with blaming myself for someone else's problems, or at least trying to absorb the bulk of their burdens. This taught me that I am not the strong woman that everyone thought I was, I was capable of weakness. I learned not to judge other women for the relationships they are in. I learned that everything is not alway what it seems. I learned that it is human to want to not be alone, and that more often than not, people settle for far less than perfection to be with someone.

Man: The Distant Lover Age: 21 I did love this guy. I don't know how, but I did. We began chatting online, then progressed to phone calls, to finally meeting. I should have known something would be amiss when the first time I met him, my visit coincided with the death of his grandmother. Met his entire family at the same time I met him. We were together for a while and he even asked me to marry him. I agreed. Made wedding plans and all. Then one day, he stood me up at the airport. We broke up. A few months later, on my 23rd birthday in fact, his girlfriend called me, having found my number among my things. Seems he met her a week after he started talking to me online, and had been maintaining two relationships. Even made wedding plans with her and gave her a ring, the same one he gave me. Sad thing is, I know she stayed with him after.

What I got from the experience: Though it would take a few more experiences to fully grasp this, I would learn that internet luvin' is for fools. lol. Seriously. One cannot play out one's relationship electronically; it simply cannot be done. I learned the error of speaking to other people about the private details of my relationship. I learned the problems that come when everyone has something to say about your relationship. I learned that long distance relationships arent for me. I learned how easy it is to be blinded by perception and ignorant of reality. I learned that although I'm insanely impulsive, jumping the gun might not be the right way to go every time.

Man: The Brooder Age: early twenties This was my first taste of what being in love, as an adult, was. I fancied myself in love with an impossible man. It was not a monogomous or committed relationship, rather a friendship that had romantic twinges. We shared some nice words and each other's bodies, but it was not meant to be.

What I got from the experience: One cannot be in love by one's self. To be in love, there must be at last two people involved. Despite his words, I came to understand that he could not possibly love me, as the part of him that needed to love me had to love him, and he had not gotten to that point yet. One should not have to "hide" one's relationship, and I learned that with this encounter. If ever a man or woman suggests that it is best to keep the "relationship" a secret, that should wave a red flag. I learned not to believe everything that a man says. While he might say he loves you, chances are, he doesnt mean it if he isnt acting on it, cuz love isnt just about the words, it is about the actions. He would need to show you that he does love you and that he is willing to do whatever it takes to be with you. It really is that simple. Oh, and I learned what it was like, for the first time, to have women dislike me, resent me, or "hate" on me because of my speculated involvement with him. Dame shame, lol, they still cant get him even with me "out of the picture". But I learned what competition was like, how far women will go to get a man's attention, and how it all really isn't worth it. I pledged to not mess with a man who was caught up in the circles I ran with.

Man: The Deacon Age: 24-25 This was doomed from the beginning. On our first date, my instinct told me to run, and run quick because this man was lame. Why did I stay? Because I felt I was wrong and "shallow". I felt that this guy was nice enough, showed me respect, and that I was judging him on his looks, the way he dressed [high waters, clothes always too tight], his personal hygiene [he rarely showered, rarely washed his own clothes, and his room (yeah he lived with his parents) looked like a tornado hit it], and his high pitched voice. My instinct told me that he was a homosexual, and I am still convinced that he is. Anyway, the first date, I thought to myself that he was not for me, but on my way home, I felt bad for being so distant with him. I'd been in and out of dealings with men, but the one guy who buys me flowers, takes me on a nice date, and is courteous, I'm ready to call it quits cuz being around him made me squirm. I didnt want to be seen with him and I made the evening uncomfortable. I wanted to give him another chance. That mistake would lead me to get into arguments with women I had never met, involved in the most horrific two-minute speedy sex sessions I had ever had, in 'battle' with a woman I would rather have never known, and completely jaded towards men. I got in very close with his family, reconnected with God, and spent a year of my life in a love-less, virtually sex-less relationship with someone I was willing to settle with because he offered "stability". He wanted me because I looked good on paper; I had everything that his parents would love in a woman, whereas the woman he was seeing would have never been accepted because he felt she had nothing real to offer. He would eventually go on to cheat on me with the woman he left to be with me lol.

What I got from the experience: What didn't I get? lol. I learned that a liar and a cheater can clothe himself in God's fabrics. I learned that settling is by far the worst thing anyone can do. I got a female stalker. I learned that although my life had been hard and that I was looking for someone or something different, I could not just give in to the first guy to come along and give me flowers. I learned what it felt like to be used. I learned how to perfectly pretend that everything was o.k. and that I was happy. I learned that one should not introduce one's significant other to one's close friends and family until one is positive that the s/o isnt a complete moron. I was able to reconnect with God though, which was amazing for me and has enriched my life so much since then. I became so jaded and I thought it was the end for me. This man said love comes from one's mind, and that it is something one creates. He lacked passion, he lacked emotion, and I honeslty believe is more attracted to men, but spends so much of his time talking against homosexuality and hiding in church because he is himself a homosexual.


There were other men, countless sexual encounters with random men, some whose names I forget, some I think I have forgotten on purpose. There have been times when I have been abused and used, but continued on. There are the times when I was scared that my luck had run out and times I felt that there was nothing I was good at, except laying on my back. I have learned that I have to love myself before I can love anyone else. I learned that one cannot give up completely on men just because there are a few...thousand assholes who cross your path. I have learned that no one is perfect, but that one need not settle for someone so far from perfection that his positive traits are unrecognizeable. There were times I was happy, times I was sad, times I was bitter, times I was all I had. From them all, I took something, even if it was a few dollars from his wallet...

Where are you headed?

Danjaruz Demeanor:
nostaligic

Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
If you cant have the one you love
Then where are you going in your life
If you cant have that person in your life
Then where are you heading in your life


Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:

A man asked me the other day what my age was and I said 26. He asked me how many kids I had [not IF I had any kids] and I said none, and he was shocked. Literally he said "Wow, are you serious? Hard to find women your age without kids these days". He then asked me if I was in school or working and I said I work. He said oh, you didnt want to go to college? Again I was somewhat taken aback by the assumption he was making. I told him I graduated in 2002 and his response was again one of shock. He said something to the effect of how he couldnt believe that a 26 year old black woman in NYC finished college and had no kids. He said I was a rare gem. then he asked if I lived with anyone and I said my man. He said he expected me to say I lived with my mother and admitted that.[I wont go into my own encounters with people who have exhibited resentment towards me and others who have accomplished the things they have not, because that isnt what this post is about...maybe another day]

Now in my previous post, I talked about receiving male attention. This man's response was no unlike things I have heard before. Many men have taken that same stance. The shock that a sista in her early 20s could not live at home, not have any kids, and have a college degree and stable job.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE PEOPLE?????

This should not be an issue. It should not be a shock. I should not be considered a "rare gem". This is a problem on two levels:

1)Why is it "special" for a black woman to have finished college and not have kids and live on her own, but it is standard for a white woman and accepted as the norm? what is up with our people when we look at our people who are doing what society says they should be doing as special? We ought o have MORE black women in their 20s with college degrees, stable jobs, not living with parents, either married with children, or with no children at all. That is my belief and I stick by it. I know things happen and I am one who helps people who have taken turns on their paths, but damn people, this should not be "special". Men taking care of their kids should not be congratulated, it is their job! Men with no criminal records should not be considered "special", they shouldnt be committing crimes! Going to college, getting a job, and living on one's own should NOT be considered a special feat, yet in our community it is.

2) I know plenty of women just like me, both black and latina. We are all over the place. Since graduating college, I have been in two long-term, exclusive relationships, this one included. At other times, men found it very hard to believe I was single. I didnt find it hard to believe at all, though I did often doubt myself. I wondered to myself, why does the woman in her late 20s, early 30s with 3 kids by 2 men, no college education, works as a receptionist, get a man, and I dont. I wasnt hating on her cuz I want her to be happy, but with all of the shit men talk about the type of woman they wanted, I felt like I fit the bill, yet I was without a man, or the men I was involved with werent shit. A number of my girlfriends have experienced similar feelings of wondering what we are doing wrong.

Is it that men are intimidated by us? That is indeed part of it. We have all told stories of being with men who could not seem to handle that their women had either accomplished more than they had or made more money or whatever. Men always say they want an independent woman, when really they want women who are 1)financially independent and 2)dont nag. There are not many men, at least not in my opinion, who can deal with a woman who seems to have her life together and seems to not be in need of much.

Is it that our standards are too high? That is worth looking into. I have a friend who will only date latino men who have Ivy League educations because she is a latina with an Ivy League education. Some people think of that as being pretentious, but how different is it from a woman wanting a man with a job, since she has a job? She wants someone who she feels is on her level. I remember that I refused to date men with kids because I didnt have any. I felt that I was young enough to find a man in my age range who didnt have kids, and that would be one of my screening points. I also knew that he had to be taller than me, I prefered over 6'4, he had to have a college degree and had to be employed in a career that I approved of. He couldnt live at home, and he had to love hip hop music. Interestingly enough, I have encountered MANY men who fit these criteria, unfortunately, they either didnt work out, didnt want me, or were just assholes lol. Sometimes, we college-educated, career-minded young women have tunnel vision. We think about the work we have done to get to where we are and we want-- demand a man who has worked just as hard and has come just as far. This does not allow us room to see other men who might not have 10 pt matches, but might be exactly what we need. This is why many of my peers are single.

Are we looking in the wrong places? With technology as it is these days, the ways to meet the right partner have multiplied. Some people take advantage of the net, while others prefer traditional ways of meeting [thru friends, brs, church, clubs, etc]. The problem is, no matter where you go, you will encounter bad men. Internet, churh, clubs, bars, blind dates, all can turn up some bad seeds. This is why many women have lists of minimal standards; to weed out the knuckleheads as much as possible. Unfortunately some good guys gets caught in the sifting. Some sista view meeting men at clubs as only good for a bootycall because they believe men at clubs are only seeking that. Sometimes men in church can be perceived as being too uptight or too marriage-minded for some women who might just want to enjoy an exciting life before settling down. Meeting a guy in a bar? Well maybe you dont want to be saddled with a drunkard lol. The internet has its ups and downs as well. it is a breeding ground for married people looking to cheat and it also an arena where people can "create" any personality they want. Reality in person is something different. My man approached me via email so I cannot say that the net doesnt work. If nothing else, it allows the chances of finding a guy to increase dramatically, especially since one can interact with people globally.

Are we doing too much or too little? How important is it for women to lay out all of their cards? Should women list their stats and demand that men meet them or walk? Should women hold their accomplishments back until they feel comfortable sharing? Should women "dumb themselves down" on dates so as to cater to a man's ego? I know I am guilty of that, on several occasions. There have been times when I have bitten my tongue, or kept quiet about certain aspects of my personality or history because I felt that a guy might have been bothered by it or at least uncomfortable. that wasnt the way to go, but it is a length to which many successful sistas will go to have a guy around.

Do we settle? Yes! Many successful sistas, or women in general, do the dreaded settling. I almost did it myself until I believe God showed me the light and showed me that the man I was with was not for me. A lot of women settle for so much less than they deserve. They settle for cheaters, abusers, liars, lazy asses, etc. Or maybe the guy is nice, but he just doesnt have "it"--that thing that drives u crazy in love when you think of him. Maybe we settle for someone sexually imcompetant; I know I have lol. But in many ways, women often settle [men do too but I think women do more] because society has told us that we are supposed to get married and have children, and that we arent real women if we dont. That is a bunch of nonsense of course, but it is something that so many of us buy into. While men have the luxury of taking their time, living bachelor lives even well into their 30s, women are pushed to beign manhunting either right after college or in the mid-20s age range. 30 is like the dreaded age for women because we feel that it is all downhill from there. If people didnt settle, we wouldnt have such a high divorce rate, so the evidence clearly shows, people are marrying the wrong people.

That 4 year old girl in the picture wanted to grow up, get married, have kids, help other people, and be a school teacher. As she got older, going to college, moving out, getting a job were all things that were expected and pushed. I have spoken with my boyfriend about this and he said that I just had to understand that women like me were not the norm. I admit I was saddened by this. He says he feels he is lucky to find someone my age who has done so much, while I spend most of my time thinking I havent done enough. I have friends in med school, friends who have finished law school. I have one friend having a baby, and another friend is getting married. I have one friend who is a published author, and another one in a high position at a local college. I feel like I should be doing more, but when I look at the other women around me in my age group, I dont feel so bad. I feel blessed that I have hd the opportunity, the support, and the ability to get to where I am. I want more for my people, especially women. I hate it when I see people falling into the same traps. I hate when people become negative statistics. I hate some of the things I have done in my life that could have very well led me to be the same statistic. But it doesnt stop me from wanting to help and do something about it.

There is more to life than club-hopping. There is more to life than throwing parties. There is more to life than being someone's baby mama or baby daddy. There is more to life than divorce. There is more to life than a high school diploma. There is more to life than public assistance. There is more to life than being a 40 year old receptionist. There is more to life than being a grandmother at 40. There is more to life than having random sex with men whose names you cannot remember. There is more to life than obesity. There is more to life than being the "other woman" or the "jump off". There is more to life than 5 yearsof cohabitation and no marriage. There is more to life than smoking weed and drinking.

Think of the person you were then. The young, innocent, impressionable person. think of who you are now, shaped by society, in your particular life. Are you 100% happy where you are? What might you have done differently,if given the chance? How do plan to spend the rest of your life?

Something to think about...

I'm A Loner

Danjaruz Demeanor:
Solo

Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
I get so lonely
Can't let just anybody hold me...

Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
Hard to believe isnt it? Well, a little known fact about Danja is that she is a loner. I prefer to be alone or with maybe one other person around me. Maybe I should say that is a little known fact about Michelle. I think Danja is someone totally different, yet a reflection of some part of me I suppose.

I joined BlackPlanet in February 2000 and I saw they had chat rooms. While I'd heard of chat rooms, I'd never been in one before. I saw two the caught my attention: Intelligent Brothas and Sistas and a BBW Chat. I knew that BBW was the term used for fat women, so I went in the intelligent chat first, planning on going to the BBW chat second. After enough bullshit rhetoric from the fingertips of bean pie salespeople, I waddled over to the Fat Chat. I watched for a while and saw people interacting like they knew each other eprsonally, people making jokes, people playing music, posting pictures, etc. This was all brand new to me, but in true Aries/Only Child form, I jumped right in and made myself known. Some of these people I still speak with today. In fact, one man, D, is a very close friend of my man and I.

Anyway, the BP experience was... interesting lol. I bring this up because what I see going on now in a lot of "circles" on this yahoo net and 360 thing is what I experienced and witnessed going on from 2000 until about 2002 on BP. During that time, I got engaged with internet "cliques" that met offline and got together for whatever occasions, sometimes as a big group, sometimes as smaller groups. Sometimes, we would crack jokes and laugh and make fun of people, talk shit about people, talk sideways so people couldnt tell we were talking about them, etc. We did some foul shit and I know some people viewed me as somewhat of a ringleader. Maybe I was, maybe I wasnt, but I do know that the perceived ringleader status led to a lot of problems for me internally and externally.

Some people who were my "online friends" began to resent me. They began to resent the personality they'd come to know or believed they knew. They began to resent the things I said, or they "heard" I said. Some people had issue with the attention I got, whether it was positive or negative. Some lies were told, rumors spread, and the "clique" began to dissolve. Of course, I felt that people who were true friends would work things out and remain so. From what I gather, they have or have not. I met another one of my best friends on BP, and because she was my friend, a lot of people shunned her. I thought that was the dumbest thing I'd ever heard of, but it happened. In fact, a number of people distanced themselves from me, my so-called friends, because of the negative attention they received by being associated with me. Every ringleader must have followers right? And who wants to be labeled as a follower? I understood what was going on, and though I was a bit hurt and more than disappointed, there was little I could do. A lot of things said werent true, a lot of who I was, i felt, was misunderstood. I realized that it is because I didnt open up to anyone really, and to this day, I still tend to keep things closed. I realize it is because not everyone is going to be my friend or even like me. I realized that sometimes, things just dont work out, and it is ok. I dont have to beat myself up about it or worry about what people are thinking or saying.

I left that scene, with my graduation from college, and decided to keep things a bit more simple. I then began to check out yahoo clubs/groups, some with the same people, some with new people. All generally based around the BBW community. If there is one thing I have learned, it is that the more things change, the more they stay the same. I observe some situations now and they remind me so much of my BP days. People all up in each other's business, people saying this, saying that, lying about this, spreading that rumor, etc. I had a few drinks with a friend who told me that someone claimed something about an interaction with me that never happened. I was not surprised because it isnt the first time someone claimed to have met me, interacted with me, whatever with me. I was bothered only because as much as I have tried to take steps bak to avoid nonsense, it still exists. The old me might have played the victim, as I see so many other men and women doing these days. But the me who had a hell of a life in the last 5 years has had to take a step back and think about my own contributions to this stuff. I knew that I was partially responsible for a lot of things, and that I had to fix MY side, before I could complain about other people's contributions. This is why I withdrew from a lot of social circles I was once involved in. I figured if I am not around, I would be out of sight and out of mind. Of course that isnt the case, but it was a nice hope.

The BBW community is an interesting one. Here were have smaller communities, mostly dominated by women [which means excessive estrogen...ahem...emotions] full of people seeking a communcal sense of acceptance. Before getting involved with this scene, I had major issues when it came to my appearance and men. I'd dated a lot, had sex, etc, but, like today, I never saw the big deal about my looks. When I got involved in the community, all of a sudden, there were men coming from every angle, trying in so many ways to get next to me. I got caught up, I admit, and had my share of interesting experiences lol. This would be why folks have labeled me a "ho" "bitch" and even a "black widow". I like to let people think what they want about how many or what men I have been involved with, but I always have found it funny how concerned people were about it at all. If one is secure in one's own life, why would one be overly concerned about someone else's life? I have yet to get an answer on that. I had people giving me advice, people warning me, people whispering about me, people having phone conferences about me, people making "hate" pages about me, to the point where my "reputation" began to become just as significant as I thought I was. I got the point when I just laughed,amazed at the things being said, yet still wondering what is this all about? People have the right to not like me, cuz I damn sure have the right to not like some people. But sometimes things just went really far.

One gentleman told me "If you were ugly, you wouldnt have any problems at all" and it got me to thinking about it. Was that really what it was about? It couldnt be that simple, so I took it with a grain of salt. Do I consider myself pretty? Not particularly, but then,I just attribute how I look to my parents and I usually respond "I'm just me". The community is one that thrives on the need to be accepted. In terms of image in society, fat people are the most reviled and now, fat people have places they can go, communities they can join, where they can be accepted and respected, despite their size. But is this really true? No, and when I came to full realization of this, I decided sitting at home watching Family Guy reruns was more enjoyable than going to a Fat Girl party or plugging into the Fat Girl matrix.

The need to be accepted comes from insecurity. I know I was not happy being bigger than I am now, and because of the health problems I had attributed to my weight, I have been working to lose it. I was NOT proud of being at higher risk of DEATH due to my fatness. Had little to do with the looks anymore because that no longer was a problem for me. I do admit though, initially, I became involved in these communities because I was insecure. I did exist in environments where big people were shunned and I hated it. I was happy to find communities that had their own parties, their own events, and people could come to build what I believed were going to be friendships. But then, these people were brought together because they were fat or fat admirers. That says something about the friendships doesnt it? Frienships forged by fat. Granted, I would not have met some of the people closest to me, but it is still an interesting dynamic to examine. If one of us was not fat, would we have even met? Hmmm.

Anyway, women are emotional which is why we tend to be more sensative which leads to us being more dramatic. Rejection is a major issue for fat women, and when one comes to the BBW community and is still rejected, it has to be very hard to deal with. This is why one can feel the tension in a room full of big women when there are men around. Insecurity still looms, and emotions are on fingertips. Rather than exist as a true community, there are other elements that break things down. The main one is men. I mean, in the end this is what it is all about isnt it? Finding a man? Let's be real folks. This is not to say that every fat women on the net is looking for a man, so dont get all mad. lol. So when a woman, who already has insecurities and certain issues with herself, enters an arena with other women experiencing similar issues, and is trying to "compete" for the attention of the very FEW eligible men, tempers flare, emotions rise, tensions thicken, and that is how it all begins. And whne many of these men prey on the insecurities of these women, it makes it all the more terrible.

Everything else is secondary. The whispers, the "oh no she didnt"s, the "she is TOO big"s, the "that bitch..." this, the cheating, the sleeping with the same men, the overlapping relationships, etc. All of this, in my opinion, derives from the need to attract positive male attention. Unfortunately, our insecurities lead us to getting involved with men of less than honorable intentions, but we cannot see that, because we want something SO bad. We just want to be accepted, treated right, and loved and we seek these things within the one community that is supposed to foster all of these things. Unfortunately, there are people who take advantage of our insecurities. Unfortunately, we think we have friends when we really dont. Unfortunately, we think we are more important than we really are to others. Unfortunately, some of us do not know when or how to let go.

The morning of my 26th birthday, I woke up and decided that the I spent the first quarter century of my life in messes. Some I created, others I was forced into. I decided that from that day forward, I wouldnt let it go on. Coincidentally, that was the day I met my man. Some people have attributed my changes to being with him, and he has even said he wishes he'd maybe met me later, so others could see that it wasnt so much about him as it was about me. I told him I dont give a fuck what other people think, I know me and he knows me. I decided that the friendships based on false pretenses were going to end. I decided that I couldnt force friendships with people I didnt like. I knew that just because I slept with a guy, it didnt mean I had to pretend to care about him. I learned to stop pretending about my feelings, to stop convincing myself I felt ways that I really did not. I had to stop hanging out with people just because I wanted to something to do. I got comfortable with the fact that my closest friends lived nowhere near me, and many of the people I hung out with here were just filling in the voids. This is not to say that I havent made friends here, it is just that I could have skipped all of the parties, the drinking, the dancing, etc and stayed home.

I engaged in it because I was bored. I engaged in it because I was young and out of college and I wanted to enjoy the paychecks I brought home. I engaged in it because the busier I was, the less I had to deal with the issues and demons inside of me. I engaged it in because I was insecure about a lot of things, and the attention I received, both positive and negative, gave me cause to not dwell on these things. I decided that enough was enough. I began to look around me and realize that I had very little in common with the people I interacted with and quite frankly, I didnt really LIKE 98% of them. The partying wasnt ME. The drinking was and always will be though lol. I found that I forged friendships/relationships that forced me to pretend to be someone I was not. I got sick of it and on April 6th, 2005 I decided I was going to do it no more. I decided to embrace my inner "loner".

Nowadays, I stay home a lot and I have never felt better. My boyfriend and I have came together in a way I believe was planned. We both had to go through a lot of struggle and pain and confusion in our past relationships and past lives to get to the point where we are now. Our relationshp progressed quickly despite both of us fighting it. When we finally decided to stop bullshitting, we uncovered the people we were meant to be with: each other. I no longer have to go to any parties that I didnt really want to go to in the first place. I no longer have to put on a show for "friends" that I didnt want to be around. I no longer have to engage in any type of social interaction with people that I simply do not like and I do not have to feel bad about it. I have no need to try and please everyone. I have a handful of friends, and some great new ones courtesy of my boyfriend. He has embraced my friends as well. I can actually, finally say that the people in my life are people I can rely on, turn to, and believe in for supoprt of my personal growth and the growth of my relationship. He and I have our private time, which is interesting considering we live together, but work and other things allow us to have space, which is important, because... I am a loner. I focus on my writing now more than ever. I do a lot of reading, especially the words of others. I see the same bullshit happening with the same people I pulled away from that happened with me years ago. I couldnt imagine what it would be like if everyone was up in the business of my relationship with my boyfriend. There was a time when everyone and their mama knew or claimed to know what I was doing, and that was my fault, for talking about things and sharing. I learned my lesson,and I hope other people learn as well. Unfortunately, I still know everything that is being said about me[yeah a damn shame i do], I am still aware that although I have pulled away, my presence [or lack of presence] is felt. I just hope, and this is going to sound weird, that people forget about me...

It is ok to keep to yourself. It is ok to have noting to do on the weekend. It is ok to have no one to hang out with. it is ok to want to stay home, put your feet up and watch Family Guy. I feel I reached the point at 26 that some people dont reach until their late 30s early 40s, or even later. I just got tired of it all. I said goodbye to all but a handful of grops. I tend to stay away from parties where there will be people I know dont like me. Why bother with it? Why would I voluntarily walk into a space where I know I will feel tension or be forced to smile when I dont want to, be forced to hug or talk to people I dont want to, be forced to look at people I dont want to look at? People still ask me "you going to this party?" or "you going on this trip?" or " why havent you been around?"

I say... I'm a loner. I dont put myself in places I dont want to be. I dont bother with nonsense. I no longer get caught up in "cliques", he said/she said, side-talking, who's fucking who, who doesnt like me, whatever. I dont need to use my blog,my emails, my im's to talk to or about people I interact with offline. That is gay. I'm done. My life is REAL. REAL happy, REALly moving forward, REALly fun, full of REAL love, a REAL future, REAL friends, REAL trust, and most of all, finally the REAL me.

Whateva Nigga

Danjaruz Demeanor:
blah

Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
un huh
ok
wassup
shut up!!

Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
So, if you know me, you know how I feel about using the N word. Living with/ loving a man who makes saying "nigga" into an art form is beginning to wear off on me. I still try very hard to avoid using it, as my views haven't changed. There are only a few people I have called "niggas" and meant it. I reserve it for people I think deserve the utmost disrespect.

Anyway, with all of that aside, I'm having a "whatever nigga" moment in my life right now. I feel like this entire post will make me look no better than many of the ghetto hoodrats I have encountered in my life, but fuck, I'm willing to take that risk. [People really don't really how unbecomming it is, but then again, I cuss like a fucking sailor, so who am I to judge?]

Follow me on this:

MEN

I had a man say the reason he cheated on me was because he was intimidated by my sexual prowess and the experience I'd had, which in turn made him feel incompetant, so he went to someone he knew would make him feel like a "man" because she seemed to enjoy his two minutes of hot lovin'

WHATEVA NIGGA

I had a dude swear he loved me, but couldn't be with me, mainly because I lived four hours away. After I moved on and found someone else, he tells me that he is talking to someone who lives in my city. Maybe I should have posted some naked pics for money too?

WHATEVA NIGGA

I recently met up with a guy I dated some years back and we talked about our relationship and what went wrong, etc. He told me he had made the biggest mistake and he regretted it. Said he was sorry and all that shit. Yeah, sleeping with the girl who pretended to support our relationship while she was plotting to be with him behind my back was a "mistake". Finding out she was a clingy, stiffling twit who sucked in bed: priceless.

WHATEVA NIGGA

One dude I fucked with, mainly cuz his dick game was tight [and thats all he had to offer] tried to justify fucking several of his friends at the same time, and saw NO problem having all of these women together at social event/functions. Even tried to act like he didnt get off on it. Mufugga I know the game, I used to do the same thing.

WHATEVA NIGGA

How about there is this dude who has been trying to get at me for over a year, right? How about he randomly called me the other day and was like "I havent spoken to you in forever, how are you" etc. How about once I mentioned that I have a man that I'm living with, he had all kinds of excuses to get off the phone. I see just how much he cared about how I been doing. [You learn a lot about so-called male "friends" once you get into a committed relationship]

WHATEVA NIGGA

I was talking to this dude online one time and he seemed cool. Then I met him and was floored. He lied about his height, he smelled horrible, he was wearing some gay ass white jeans, and he pulled out his dick talking about he wanted some head. But wait,that aint the "whateva nigga" point... After getting away from him as quickly as possible, I received a call from his WIFE a few days later wanting to know who I was. I explained to her that her gay ass, smelly husband tried to get some sex from me. She sounded all sad and shit but I was laughing. This wasnt the first time I found out I guy I talked to was married/involved.

WHATEVA NIGGA

This dude tried to holla at me when I was walking down the street talking about "Hey big sexy". Normally I walk past this and ignore it, but on that day, I said to myself "self, u need ot handle this". So I went to him and was like "Do you think it is respectful you call a woman u dont know Big sexy, yelling at her as she walks by?" He said "yes I do, whats wrong with it?" I said "how would you feel if I rolled past you and yelled "hey unemployed broke ass crackhead" how would u feel"? His boys were like "ooohhhhhh she got u nigga". it was NOT the day to fuck with me.

WHATEVA NIGGA

PEOPLE IN GENERAL

I had someone try to say I had to prove my friendship to him, and he proceeded to ask me if I would die for him, as a sign of true friendship. I knew him for two months...

WHATEVA NIGGA

Why is it always the ugliest bitch that wants to be the biggest hater? I mean shit, I could give someone some credit if the game was tight but gatdamn, when your FACE, BODY, AND LIFE are hellaciously raggedy, how are you hating on anyone else?

WHATEVA NIGGA

If there is one thing I cannot stand, it is someone who passive aggressively begs for pity or sympathy, but is a grown ass individual, who seems incapable of doling out the same type of emotion to others in need. I don't coddle people and I don't give in to pity parties. Why folks wanna get mad at me because I dont cater to them?

WHATEVA NIGGA

Why is it always the broke ass individual or the one with no job who wants to be like "hey lets go somewhere"?

WHATEVA NIGGA

You ever notice how the people who claim they don't drink or don't drink much are the ones ordering the most outlandish drinks and lots of em? Ending up drunka then a mufugga, talking about "I love youuuuuuuuuu"

WHATEVA NIGGA

Doesn't everyone have that one friend you love dearly but don't rely on for shit? You know, that one friend who is always supposed to be "there" but never manages to show up, not even for the most important things, even though they SWEAR they are coming?

WHATEVA NIGGA

Why do people STILL take this internet shit to the next level of stupidity? I gave myself until the end of college to get this net shit out of my system and I did just that. Only have had a few sprinkles of drama, but that is to be expected when you deal with groups of people seeking acceptance because they hate themselves in one way or another. Anyway, at what point do people just unplug from the Matrix and live in the real world? This whole blog thing has become another way for morons to talk shit and gossip. Ive seen some MAD bullshit and Im like wow, these are the same fuckahs that talk about me?? LMAO

WHATEVA NIGGA

Why do people flaunt fake "designer" accessories like they are real? I mean, why do people wear Louis "Futon" neck scarves as head scarves? Even if the shit was real, who in the hell wears an expensive neck scarf on their greasy as heads??

WHATEVA NIGGA

POLITICS, ENTERTAINMENT, BILL COLLECTORS, etc

I hear P. Diddy is still trying to claim that he isnt a homosexual

WHATEVA NIGGA

Bush says he takes responsibility for the failure to respond efficiently and effectively to the hurricane. Meanwhile, his wife says Kanye's comments are disgusting. Like Kanye said, George Bush Does Not Care About Black People. Bush talking about how things could have been done differently. Naw mufugga, if the skin tones were lighter, things would have been done differently

WHATEVA NIGGA

Serena Williams, rocks the blond wigs, dates the white men, but swears by the 360 Black McDonald's campaign.

WHATEVA NIGGA

Why the bitch at my Visa spot gonna be like "When can we expect payment?" I was like WTF? I said "as soon as I get it" but I really wanted to say "Bitch you can expect it until you turn blue in the face, but that doesn't mean I'm paying this damn bill.

WHATEVA NIGGA

Why do people always speak poorly of eligible Black voters who choose not to vote? Why do people assume to know the reasons these people don't vote? Why do people always invoke the whole "your ancestors died for your right to vote" line? Did my ancestors die for me to vote for someone I don't support, just for the sake of voting? I think not, ya fucking meatheads, so lemme alone. I'll vote IF and WHEN I fucking feel like it, and I will continue to complain about politicians whether I voted or not. Kiss my non-voting ass. Most of y'all are blind Democrats putting your hopes in rich white folks who use you as political toys.

WHATEVA NIGGA

WORK

I overheard a client at my job complain that her landlord had a problem with her smoking crack in the hallways, and felt she was being discriminated against

WHATEVA NIGGA

Why did my coworker ask me to punch him in cuz he was running late, but when I asked him to punch me out cuz I wanted to leave early, he was like "I dont feel comfortable with that because if I get caught, I can get in a lot of trouble"

WHATEVA NIGGA

I could go on and on, but I will cease and desist...lol I think Im done venting. My baby should be home soon with dinner

Smooches!

And Baby Makes Two and a Half

Danjaruz Demeanor:
serene

Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
so you're having my baby
and it means so much to me
there's nothing more precious
than to raise a family

Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
Naw biznatches, Im not pregnant.

Scared ya, didn't I?

Shoooot I aint got no rangs on these fanguhs, so ummm NO baby aqui.

But my best friend of almost 13 years is. She called last night and my phone was on vibrate so she left a message:

So, yeah, listen. I'm knocked up, yo. Call me back

So, I'm like no fucking way and I call her back.

"bitch you better not be playing bout this shit"
"why would i randomly call you and leave that kinda message?"
"true"

so we talked about it. She has always been the monogomous type. In the years Ive known her, she has had 3 relationships, each one lasting about 3.5-4 years. I've always envied her ability to do that, as I have yet to make it past ONE year with the same person. But she was raised to be committed and Im all for that. last time I spoke to her, she was talking about wanting to get married and how her man was acting funny about it. Being the She-Ra manhater that I am, I was like fuck him, move on. But that's her man, she loves him, thinks he is the one. I havent met the bastard yet, but I will soon.

I have to explain our relationship. She and I met out first year of boarding school. We were the only black girls in the freshman class and as black women tend to do, we hated each other. She hated me for being the boisterous, outgoing, used-to-private school person I was, and I hated her for hating me, and for being straight up ghetto. I was from the hood, but trying very hard to not be a slave to it, and she reminded me of that hood, and I think I resented her. Didnt want other people thinking I was ghetto too. Eventually we got over that stuff and realized that we were, in fact, the only black girls in the freshman class and it would benefit us more to stick together than to fight. Over our 4 years, we grew very close. 3 Months older than I, I always knew she'd be the one to do things first. She graduated college first [I took a year off], she got a job first, she got her license and a car first, she started grad school first, and now she is knocked up first, and will probably get married first.

We are as opposite as day and night. She is thin as a rail, an itty bitty thing while Im this huge mass of flash and poundage. She is short, Im tall. She is from the island Jamaica, I was born in Jamaica, Queens. She grew up with siblings, I didnt. My mother worked, hers was on public assistance. She came from public school, I came from private. She was quiet, I was loud. I drank and smoked, she stayed clean and sober. Since we graduated in 1997, we have seen each other 6 times. She lives in Newark, I live in New York City, AND I used to live in Jersey City. We speak maybe once every other month. but this is truly my best female friend. This is just how we are and it works for us. Some people cant imagine interacting with their best friends so infrequently, but she and I have one thing in common: we are both very arms-length about our interpersonal relationships. This is why I dont mind having friends who are far away, because frequent interaction with people tends to lead to me becoming bored or very annoyed with people. I outgrow people very quickly it seems. Yeah, a lot of folks hate that about me lol.

Anyway, my girl is having a baby. We will be 27 when this bundle of joy comes along. For about 17 seconds, I felt the "oh I want a baby" whistfulness, but then I thought about the weekend we just spent with my boyfriend's almost 3 year old and I thought, ummm let's wait until she starts school lol. *I know my friend will call me more often like "come get this kid" and Imma laugh and say "no"*

Well, hopefully they get married so her mom can stop pouting. I hope he decides to marry her because he wants to and not because he feels obligated due to the baby. Or maybe the baby is the push he needs to make things happen a bit sooner. Whatever the case is, that baby needs to be born to marry parents. So right now, they are the 2.5 family LOL

Congrats girl!

Danjaruz Haiku:
Yes, you are knocked up
You will finally get fat
Call Jenny Craig now

Rock, Rock On

Danjaruz Demeanor:
tired, sick, at home

Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
"shut up, just shut up shut up
shut up,just shut up, shut up"

Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
In the immortal words of Mr. Fantastik "Rock, Rock On"

See, I had to put Miss Keish on to the hip-hoppers prayer salutation and conclusion.

Rock, Rock On

Some people say "Amen", some people say "Selah", some people say "Ashe", others say "Salaam". People greet, salute, conclude in religious form in various ways. As children of hip-hop Danja and Mr. Fan are...different, to say the least. We give thanks to the Lord for all of the blessings and end our prayers with [say it with me Keish]

Rock, Rock On

Does God look negatively upon us? Who knows, but I doubt it. If I call Him God and the Spaniards call him Dios, is he mad at them or at me? If I say Jesus, instead of Yeshua, is He mad at me? So if I say "Rock, Rock On" does He not accept this as an equivalent to "Amen"?

Rock, Rock On

So we met up with the NYC bloggers this past weekend. IM OFFICIALLY CALLING OUT CAROL[TIGREBALM] AND NIKKAY[SLOWMETAMORPHASIS] FOR NOT COMING.


We met at BBQ on the upper west side and they sat us downstairs, probably anticipating a riot. We were, for the most part, identifiably black, and as the world knows, all Negroes areoutraged Kanye-ites running around mad at the looters for not sending us the Master P Special Edition Hurrican Katrina E. Coli Fronts. How dare he?

Master P Does Not Care About Black People

Anyway, it was fun. We had lots of jokes, though I think I was becoming obscenely loud when my man suggested that the table next to us was full of kids from a group home who looked ready to rob us. What made it worse was when one of my best friends suggests that he go ask them. He of course makes it worse by offering HER money to do so. This banter continued and my laughter, combined with Miss Keisha's, became niggerishly loud. Forgive me, ladies.

We drank big drinks, a nice array of Pink & Green [sorry u missed that display X], and we saluted our shots with Mr. Fan's salute of choice. We carried intellectual conversation worthy of NY bloggers, the most memorable being the subject of Mr. and Mrs. Bobby Brown. This prompted a round of Shaddup Shots, lead by Eleanore The Non-Blogger. [The is always one outsider in the bunch]

After that, we headed to a bar that looked nothing like the Comedy Club I suggested, yet laughs still came. From the white boy's CD skipping, to me shouting that there was indeed, no sleep.... til Brooklyn, that is. The strap on my dress continued to fall as the hem of my skirt continued to rise. Mayham and Bedlam folks. If you havent visited these twins cities of decadence and indecency at 1 am, I recommend that you do.

It only took us 45 minutes to begin a serious discussion about the hurricane. And about 5 minutes to stop talking about it. NYCers survived 9/11 and are used to keeping it moving. Some may wonder how we can go out and have such fun and spend money and drink while there are people in the south suffering.

Easy. Melanie told me to have fun. I had a shot for her.

Peace

Looting Vs. Finding

White people "FIND" things Click here for a photo and accompanying caption

Black people "LOOT" things Click here for a photo and accompanying caption

The media is still racist people. This country is still racist. It is up to you to take things into your own hands and help YOUR people!!

**************************
1st. Thank you to everyone who has responded to the call to help my friend Melanie and her family, and thank you to everyone who is making efforts to help the survivors of the hurricane.

2nd. I wanted to set up an Old Navy registry online but couldnt figure out if they even had such a thing. I am suggesting that people who wish to send clothing, please go to oldnavy.com or other stores and send clothing directly from the website. It would be a LOT easier for you to just point and click, rather than haul to the store, package everything up, and then head to the post office. Do not worry about getting duplicate items, trust me, they WILL be used.

3rd. My people, my people, my people. I want to speak on this looting that is taking place. There are, in my opinion, two sides to this.

Side 1: People are going buck wild, trying to take anything they can get their hands on for free. This is not including the people taking essentials like food, water, diapers, medicines, etc. This is about the people taking TVs, DVD players, and other electronic things that they have NO use for considering the city has no electricity. Why, oh why, do they have to show the BLACK people on television going wild and acting up?? I mean, don't we always think to ourselves, why does it have to be black people? I mean people are getting so bad, they shot a cop in the head, they have been shooting at helicopters, they are threatening violence on others, because they feel they have the RIGHT to take the excessive items.

Side 2: People are taking what they can because they are fed up with the life they have had to live and they see this as the opportunity to get the things they only used to dream of, even if they cant do anything with the items. 1/3 of New Orleans residents lived below the poverty level. 2 out of 3 home and business owners had no flood insurance. There were areas of the city that looked abandoned and desolte, uninhabitable by humans, but people "lived" there. Maybe, this hurricane brought out that rage and anger in them and they are rebeling agains the lives they have. They are rebelling against the system that systematically created, implemented, and perpetuated plans to keep these people imprisoned in their poverty. Maybe they are expressing their poor, black angst. Maybe they just want to know what it is like, for the few minutes that it lasts, to possess something expensive, new, not second-hand.

I think back on the riots in Los Angeles after the Rodney King incident. The same could be said for those people. Was it merely ignorance that fueled people to ransack stores, jack cars, and destroy businesses for their own personal gain? Or were people rebelling and expressing anger and rage against a system that trapped them in impoverished prisons? Or is it a combination of both?

I am reading reports of rapes in the Superdome. They say a baby died, but that has not been confirmed. I am sure that there are people dying as the water breeds bacteria and disease begins to spread. People going without fresh water, no food, no fresh air, one can only imagine the devasation. But rape? 25,000 people hovered in a Superdome, all without homes, food, water, clothes. All stuck in a place rank with human waste, body odor, sickness, and despair, and people are falling victim to rape? As if losing everything, and possibly family members, is not enough? Now there are women and girls falling victim to sexual predators and not feeling safe?

This is barbaric and cannot be as easily explained as the looting.

Has anyone else noticed how nonchalant our president seems to be about this? Maybe I am speaking from my own anger and maybe I ought to go loot the White House, but that is neither here not there. The man was on vacation and he flew over New Orleans in Air Force One. He made no efforts to stop and land in a nearby area and possibly speak first hand with locals, maybe offer some face-to-face words of encouragement to the people doing search and rescue. Maybe he could have stopped at a mobile hospital and made his presence felt. What he did was give a 3-day late, lackluster speech about what we already know and talked about the other people who were going to be handling this situation.

I am not going to waste time condemning the prez or joining the bandwagon of people who are using this as a chance to bash the president. I have never liked, respected, or honored that fuck head anyway, so this is nothing new. I am just amazed at the apparent indifference or nonchalance-- or rather, lack of urgency in handling this. Why? Because the majority of the areas and people affected in Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama are POOR. They are either poor whites or poor people of color. Not all, but many are barely making it above working class. Poor areas have been wiped out. New orleans has a large population of color. From Haitians, Creoles, Cubans, Puerto Ricans, and Mexicans to descendants of slaves. Mobile is a poor city. Biloxi isnt that better off. This is still capitalist America that doesnt give a shit about its poor.

For those of you aiding the efforts, continue doing what you are doing. For those of you still wondering what to do, just do a search on the net to find all of the organizations soliciting donations and aid.