Broken Stories

Danjaruz Demeanor:

Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
"It's better that it hurts
I'ts better that it feels this way
I can't be too comfortable
Cuz loving you is not my destiny"
-"Miss Stress"- Floetry
...

"See I'm Going Through A Situation
That I Can't Help
Wanna Get A Little Closer
But I Promised Myself
That I Would Never
Give My Heart A
Away Again
...

I Know It's Hard
Butcha Gotta Understand It
The Truth Is
All The Hurt And The Pain
And The Shit That You Get
When You Have It
Ain't Worth It
I've Been There So Many Times
I Should Know Better But I
Can't Stop What I Feel
When You're Next To Me
....

See The Problem With Relationships
In General
Is That It's Always A Game
In The Beginning They'll Do
Anything To Have You
And Once They Do
It's Never The Same
And I, Know Everyone Out There
Can Relate
So The Question Is
One: Do I Really Wanna Trust This Feeling
Two: Do I Wanna Let It Pass Me By
Three: Do You Think It's Only Superficial
Four: Could It Actually Be Different This Time
...."
-"The One"- Mariah Carey

Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
1) she went to his house. so excited to see him. they laid down and watched one of their favorite movies. he began to kiss her, she kissed him back. he moved on top of her, more kissing. she told him that they should stop, before they went too far. he said he wanted to go too far. she said she wasnt ready. he stopped, got out of the bed and went to the kitchen. he came back, told her either she did this with him or she had to leave. it was the middle of the night. she wasnt supposed to be there. she tried to prepare mentally for this, having never done it before. she loved him, wanted to give him the gift. he laid back on the bed with her, and began to make the move. she didnt realize it would hurt so much. she asked him to stop. he said no. she screamed for him to stop as the pain was excrutiating. he grabbed her throat, screamed at her to shut up, and entered her with brutal force. she almost fainted. he continued to move within her, she felt like she was being ripped apart. after about 30 minutes of this, he stopped, cursing. turning on the light, he looked at the bed, his eyes widening in surprise. seeing the look on his face, she looked down. the mattress was soaked with blood, blood that flowed steadily from inside of her. her legs, thighs, and stomach were covered in blood. she fainted. when she came to, she saw him pacing back and forth, talking to himself in a frenzy. she rolled over, wincing at the pain shooting through her abdomen. she crawled to the bathroom, wanting to clean herself up, stop the bleeding. the bleeding didnt stop for almost 2 weeks. he said he loved her though.

2) she went to this party. folks were drinking, she had a few. someone passed the blunt, she puffed a few times, then looked around for her drink. found it on a nearby table and drained it to combat the cotton mouth. the next thing she remembers is waking up with her arms being held over her head. she heard laughing, blurred laughter penetrating her ears through the drowsy cloud. she felt chills and realized most of her clothing was no longer on her body. looking to her right, she saw one guy pulling up his pants. looking straight, thre was another guy in between her legs, moving back and forth. being numb, she felt nothing, but what she saw brought her back to reality. she tried to scream, but her throat was so dry, no sound came out. she willed her arms and legs to move, but they didnt. tears began to stream from the sides of her eyes. they were violating her. and laughing. she wished for death.

3) he called and said he was coming over, and hung up before she could protest. she didnt want to see him, but she was afraid of him. when he got to her house, she almost didnt let him in, but she did anyway, thinking she could diffuse his temper and talk to him rationally. she was finally going to tell him to leave her alone. he said he just wanted to talk. she laid in bed, pretending to go to sleep. he talked to her, seeking responses to his questions. he began to touch her, she told him to stop. he seemed bothered by the fact that she didnt want him to touch her. "arent we just supposed to be talking?" she asks. he wants to know why she doesnt want him to touch her. her answer isnt good enough for him. he gets on top of her, putting his fingers inside of her. she tries to clamp her legs closed, but he is stronger. her body begins to react to his gestures, betraying her. she doesnt WANT this. he thinks she does, and is playing a "role". he takes the moisture developing as a sign that she wants him. she damns her body for betraying her. she pushes against him, he takes this as furhter encouragement. he slides into her, raw, and begins to forcefully penetrate her. after a while, he turns her over, entering her from behind. she has no more fight in her. she grabs her pillow and tries not to make any noise and the tears flow. she starts to think about going to the movies with her daddy, and the jokes he used to tell. she starts to think about her daddy swinging her around in the park. she remembers her daddy singing to her in his car. he slaps her behind, asking if she likes it. she doesnt say anything. he talks about how great her pussy is, how its his, and how he has missed it. when it is over, he tells her to get dressed because he is taking her to get a milkshake. she doesnt want to go and tells him so. he tells her to put her clothes on. she sits on the bed, repeats again that she doesnt want to go. he comes over, slaps her hard against the left side of her head. her ear begins to ring, her cheek begins to burn. she looks at him, as he tells her again to get dressed. she gets dressed. they get the milkshake. he drops her off, asking "when will i get to see you again?"

4) he said he missed her, hadnt seen her in a while, wanted to come over. they had a conversation about how she didnt want to have sex with him. she wanted him to be her friend, nothing more. she wanted the purity of the friendship. she told him that she didnt want any sexual advances from him, that they made her uncomfortable. he said that he couldnt deny his attraction to her physically. he said she was a beautiful woman inside and out. she appreciated it but asked that things remain platonic. he agreed to respect his wishes. they watch tv. he asks her to turn it off, so she does, and begins to play music. she lights up a cigar. they are talking, sitting close. he begins to touch her again, as he had been doing throughout the night. she asked him to stop several times. he kept testing boundaries. every "Stop" she uttered went in one ear and out of the other. maybe she provoked him. she was in shorts and a t shirt, maybe that set him off. she said she was trying to behave, thinking maybe this would be respected. he continued to touch her. she realized that speaking to him wouldnt help, so she got up, thinking to make the atmosphere lighter. she began to dance with him, laughing. he pushed her against the dresser, pulled her hands behind her back, fondling her. she couldnt get her hands free. she thought to herself "not again" and felt herself go limp. she began to think about the nice guy she met recently. how he made her smile. she began to think about the funny movie she watched earlier. he pushed her down to the ground, with a fistful of her hair. she yelled "no!" several times, he told her to be quiet. he unbuckled his pants, and when she opened her mouth to yell stop, he pushed himself inside of her, choking her. she pushed against him, fists pounding on him. this didnt seem to affect him, in fact, he seemed to get more excited by this. he moved himself in and out of her mouth. he let her go and she moved back to the bed, quickly, wanting to throw up. he came to the bed and turned her over onto her stomach. once again, her body betrayed her. she didnt want this. she thought to herself "why do they do this to me?" she grabbed the pillow, preparing for what was about to happen. she didnt want it to hurt, so she didnt fight him. she heard him unwrap a condom. she wanted to cry, but there were no more tears. she grabbed her pillow, closed her eyes, and begged God for forgiveness for whatever sin she committed that made Him continue to punish her like that. When he was done, she told him that he should leave. he asked if she was ok, she didnt answer. she walked to the door, opened it for him. he asked again if she was ok, as if he cared. she locked the door behind him. she thought "i never want to be touched again"

4 Down- 6 To Go

Carrie Underwood”Unknown Titled” Martina McBride

She went back to the country singing that is her signature. She is most comfortable singing country music and it is good that she gets the chance to go back to singing it. She really sings her ass off when she sings country.

Randy
Yo…Yo…You were under almost the whole song. It was a little weird for me

Paul
You need to pick songs that celebrate your strong vocals and your personality.

Simon
He says that she has fans who will vote for her and that performance makes them love her.

Danja
I thought she was pretty decent. Wasn’t her strongest performance, definitely not the competition winner, but it was solid.

Bo Bice
“One Tree Hill” theme song

Bo, the rocker, grabbing the mic stand, como siempre. I dig Bo, I mean I’m not mad at him. I like this song and he is doing a pretty good job at it. He put his own spin on it, and since it is so new, its pretty interesting. *Thinking about Peyton and Lucas* They really oughta fuck.

Randy
Yo…yo…you know what I love man? You got some fans out here baby. You’re honest, American Idol finally has a true rock star.

Paula
You’re honest and true to yourself, you were incredible tonight.

Simon
Second week in a row, strongest contestant so far. There is a big downside. Do not wear the Lenny Kravitz sunglasses, they went out in 1988, not a good look.

Danja
He was tight. Good job Bo.

Vonzelle Solomon

I Turn To You Christina Aguilera

Started shaky…there is something about her. Sometimes she is right on point. Sometimes she isnt. Tonight isnt the best performance. I think it is the song choice. Im figuring it out, she is good with long powerful notes, but she doesn’t have the control for the words that come before those notes. She is all over the place, key wise, note wise, riff wise. But when it comes to the power notes, she is on point. I hope she gets the chance to come back and try again.

Randy
Yo man, aight so check it out dawg, check it out. You choose the most difficult song. I love that you challenge yourself. You sang it, welcome to the dawg pound.

Paula
Whats amazing is that not only did you nail it, but you have this ability to connect with the audience…magic happens that is bone chilling.

Simon
I have a horrible feeling it wasn’t as good as they thought. It was flat in the beginning.

Danja
I agree with Simon. She was off initially. But she wasn’t terrible this week, I want to see her again.

Anthony Federov
”I Surrender All” Celine Dion

So they did a profile on his family and they are from the Ukraine, which is where he was born. Oh, the irony if he wins “American” Idol. I personally think he is still here for two reasons: 1) he reminds people of Clay Aiken and the Claymates want revenge and, 2) he had the whole tragedy with his voice box n stuff. His sound is too old for him, very Josh Grobin (sp?)-ish. He has a very strong voice, it is just too adult contemporary.

Randy
So yo dawg, you are really good with the high notes, you still need work with the low notes.

Paula
You really grew, and your vocals grew with the song. One of your best performances.

Simon
You’re a very brave man. I personally hated it, however, the point of being a star is singing to the appeal of the people who support you, and you nailed it.

Danja
This was his best performance. But Celine Dion? Ok…


Constantine Maroulis
Some theme song from some TV show

Ahh Constantine is grabbing the mic stand too. There goes the “eye”. He is trying to go back to the rock sound, but its not working for him, not since we have had a taste of the Harry Connick lounge singer side of him. Bo is the real rocker, Constantine is a poser lol. Y’all remember “poser”? Ok if you didn’t hang out with a lot of white folks, u might not lol. Wow he has 3 black back up singers, and one is chunky, go girl!

Randy
Yo, yo… so hey man. You know I’m always gonna keep it real with you right? I felt like I was sitting in a bar not caring who the performer was. The performance was great, the singing was, out of 10, a 5.

Paula
This was not my favorite song at all, it didn’t showcase your vocals. You get through every genre effortlessly.

Simon
When you left your band, Constantine, you crossed over to the other side. Avery bad imitation of the original. You’re much better when you do your crooning thing. It didn’t feel real.

Danja
Oh oh oh, did I call it or what? *bowing* I so called it… POSER!!!

Scott Savol

”Dance With My Father”

Wow ok so he is tackling a Luther Vandross song. Hmmm ok. I understand why, yeah he has Dad issues and such. Oooh that note hurt. He looks really nice, nice suit. Kinda boring right now, I’m waiting for him to pick it up. He sounds a lot like Aaron Neville. That whiny, shut the hell up, voice. His falsetto is weak. This performance is quite dull. I can see him getting kicked off next time, unless he gets sympathy votes.

Randy
For me, the song and the version was your weakest performance.

Paula
The song didn’t do you justice, it didn’t tug at the heartstrings.

Simon
Pack your suitcase tonight.

Danja
Can America please get rid of this hobo?

Brown Skin Lady

Danjaruz Depictions:

da braids...


da fro...


da headwrap...

3 images... 3 styles... 1 Brown Skin Lady

Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
*excerpts*

And everybody on the avenue, I know, when they see us sing
Everybody on the avenue, I know, when they see us sing, there she is
...
My incredible woman is, plentiful
Over the years I met a few, none of them compare to you
...
let's see:
you fruitful, beautiful, smart, lovable, huggable
Doable like art, suitable to be part of my life
...
It's like I'm standin there you know appreciatin God's design
and then you showed up, it's like you read my mind
DAMN SHE'S FINE, I think I add the R-E, in front of that
and see if she D, to get, with a cat like me
...
I like the way you walk, when you walk on by
I like the way you move, I like you baby
...
Ooooh! Daring me girl, look at you!
Comin on the block lookin fresh and brand new
Ooooh! Headwrap cover your hairdo
Pretty feet peekin through open-toed shoe
...
*danja's favorite part*
You got me, willin to try, looked me in the eye
My head is still in the sky, since you walked on by
I'm feelin high, got my imagination flickerin like hot flames
it's how it seems, you make me wanna ride the Coltrane to A Love Supreme
My brown lady, creates environments, for
happy brown babies, I know it sounds crazy
but your skin's the inspiration for cocoa butter
You provoke a brother we should get to know one another
I discover when I bring you through my people say TRUE, all I can say
is all praise due I thank you God for a beauty like you
...
And the Bronx women walk that walk


Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
*turn your speakers on for this one*

Someone said he thinks of men when he hears this song, and thinks of this song, when he is around me...

*danja blushes...steps away from the blog*

A Blog For Nina

Danjaruz Depiction:



Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
Baby, you understand me now
Sometimes it seems that I'm mad
Don't you know no one alive can always be an angel
When everything goes wrong, you see some bad

But I'm just a soul
Whose intentions are good
Oh, Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood


Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:

Two years ago today, April 21, 2003 the world lost a musical angel. The high priestess of soul departed from this land at the too-soon age of 70. She died in Paris, France, the place she came to call home after leaving the native country she'd come to loathe.
Ne me quitte pas



A few years before her passing, I was blessed to see her at one of her final performances in the U.S. She hadn't performed in the U.S. in several years. It was at the Tower Theatre in Philadelphia.

Miss Nina came onto the stage in all of the wonderful fanfare that was "her". She sat at her piano, placed her elaborate fan on the top, and began to caress the ivories with all of the grace of a true high priestess. Miss Nina, with her magnificent headdress, her saintly shuffling walk, escorted by a royal subject. After a few minutes of musical introduction, the audience was blessed with the sound of pure soul flowing from the depths of Miss Nina's small, aging body.

I thought to myself, "This is what life is all about"

Just trying to do your very best, stand up be counted with all the rest...


Miss Nina played a few songs like "Mississippi Goddamn" to a crowd that was 80% white. How beautiful it was to see her stop playing, turn to the audience and shout "You're all going to die, and die like flies!!!" I stood up and cheered the loudest, caucasoids staring at me with confusion. As she sang "You don't have to live next to me, just give me my equality", I sang along with her, fist in the air, stern look on my face, surveying the crowd, daring any of them to look back.

My name is Peaches!!!!



After each song, Miss Nina stood up, stood next to her bench and took a bow. And each time, I stood up and screamed something like "Thank you Nina" or "I love you Nina" or "They're gonna die Nina". She also sang "To Be Young, Gifted, and Black" "Ne Me Quitte Pas" "Four Women" "I Put A Spell On You" and a couple of cover songs. She sang less than 10 songs, got up, and walked off the stage. No encore, no more songs, nothing. People paid upwards of $100-150 and she bounced. This was, of course, a LONG performance by Miss Nina, who has been known to perform 3 songs, shout "That's It!!" and walk off the stage.

I put a spell on you...



Oh Miss Nina, how I respected yur gangsta! Make them cra...white people pay!! Pay to hear you call them everything but children of God, those fools who dared rejcet you, dared try to silence you. Those who now sing your praises as you sang wishes of their demise.

Beautiful, beautiful Nina. Thank you. Thank you again. Your music has changed my life and you left this earth too soon.

BBC reporting Nina Simone's Passing

And then there were 6

Danjaruz Depiction:



Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
Fame!! I wanna live foreverrrrr
I wanna learn how to fly-- Highhhh!!!!

Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:

Ding ding, Leroy is gone!!!

I'm sure he will be able to find some Black Planet Love though
Check his dater profile.

I didnt like him. Something about him irked me, it wasnt right. He ought to be teaching school kids how to sing. Oh, wait...that is what he does.

Hope he didnt quit his day job.

4/20 4:20 420....

Danjaruz Demeanor:


Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
Im in love with Mary Jane
She's my main thing
She makes me feel alright
She makes my heart sing...


Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:

I know a few folks gonna feel me on this, especially Kelz LOL

420 Times. com

Today is April 20th people. 4/20 In a few short hours it will be 4:20. And I have no blunt to blaze. Ahh the tragedy of cleaning up and trying to fly right. LOL


Read this folks: ( from snopes.com)

"Odd terms sneak into our language every now and then, and this is one of the oddest. Everyone who considers himself in the know about the drug subculture has heard that '420' has something to do with illegal drug use, but when you press them, they never seem to know why, or even what the term supposedly signifies.

It's both more and less than people make it out to be. '420' began its sub-rosa linguistic career in 1971 as a bit of slang casually used by a group of high school kids at San Rafael High School in California. '420' (always pronounced "four-twenty," never "four hundred and twenty") came to be an accepted part of the argot within that group of about a dozen pot smokers, beginning as a reminder of the time they planned to meet to light up, 4:20 p.m. Keep in mind this wasn't a general call to all dope smokers everywhere to toke up at twenty past four every day; it was twelve kids who'd made a date to meet near a certain statue. It's thus incorrect to deem that '420' originated as a national or international dope-smoking time, even though the term began as a reference to a particular time of day.

These days '420' is used as a generic way of declaring one likes to use marijuana or just as a term for the substance itself. Its earliest connotation of having to do with the time a certain group of students congregated to smoke wacky tobaccy is unknown to the overwhelming majority of those who now employ the term.

420s are routinely slipped into popular movies and television shows. In Fast Times at Ridgemont High the score of the football game was 42-0. Most of the clocks in Pulp Fiction are set to 4:20 (but not all — when the kid receives the watch it's set at 9:00). And there are many other instances, so keep your eyes peeled.

However, as amusing as it is to tie 420 to pot smoking and hunt for it in popular movies, the number has its dark side. Hitler was born on 20 April 1889, and the massacre of 13 victims at Columbine High School in Colorado took place on 20 April 1999. "

420.com

420 is not so much a time or place as it is a state of mind. A stoned state of mind, to be specific. In the past, HIGH TIMES has reported on various competing theories surrounding the appearance of this unique bit of smoker slang, but as the following timeline clearly shows, the controversy has been resolved. The original story of 420 begins with five fellow students - all of whom assumed the nom de pot Waldo - who met after school at the appointed hour to smoke some of Californias finest, and occasionally searched for a hidden pot feild they'd heard about in the hills outside town.

1971 - Five San Rafael High School students christen the term "4:20," meeting daily at that hour to share a smoke under the school's statue of Louis Pasteur. The original password: "420 Louis."

1972 - Carmen Electra is born on 4/20 in Cincinnati.

1973-1989 - 420 languishes in obscurity, passed along from stoner to stoner as a completely underground "grassroots" phenomenon.

1990 - A mysterious flyer promoting 420 circulates at Grateful Dead shows, especially in Northern California. A copy of the flyer finds its way from a show in Oakland to HIGH TIMES' offices in New York. San Rafael was the home of Grateful Dead Productions, supporting a link back to the original Waldos, who are not mentioned in the flyer.

1991 - HIGH TIMES publishes the text of the mysterious flyer, which claims that 420 started in San Rafael, CA, "as a police code for marijuana smoking in progress." It also promotes "the grandmaster of all holidays: 4/20, or April 20th."

1994 - Clocks in Quentin Tarantino's Pulp Fiction are set at 4:20.

1995 - The Cannabis Action Network stages its first annual 4/20 Ball in San Francisco at Maritime Hall. The event begins and ends at 4:20.

1997 - HIGH TIMES launches 420.com, taking 420 into the digital world.

1998 - HIGH TIMES debunks the "marijuana smoking in progress" theory and declares the Waldos the true originators of 420 after the group produces letters and posters to prove this claim.

1999 - Columbine: The worst thing to happen on 4/20 since Hitler was born 90 years earlier.

2002 - The original Waldos reunite at the HIGH TIMES Doobie Awards in New York City to present a lifetime achievement award to their favorite band, the New Riders of the Purple Sage, who reunite for one night only and perform their classic marijuana anthem "Panama Red."

2003 - Carmen Electra marries Jane's Addiction guitarist Dave Navarro.

2004 - Clocks in Sophia Coppola's Lost in Translation are set at 4:20. Coppola and Tarantino become an item.

2005 - HIGH TIMES suggests moving 4:20 to 5:20: "When you're working a 9-to-5 job, sometimes it's worth waiting the extra hour."


Ok so, you don't have to admit that you smoke that sweetest cheeba. Maybe you really don't. But are you mad at people who do? I mean, hey, my moms toked while I was in utero and look at how I turned out. *cheese*

It's a holiday bitchessssss, raise those blunts, bongs, bowls, pipes, and J's.

*exhale*

3 Down-7 to go

So sue me, I missed last week. I had Sky Box tickets to the Knicks game!! lol

But anyway, as promised


Constantine Maroulis
Night on Broadway, Bee Gees

This is supposed to be Dance music of the 70s and he turned a BGs song into a rock song, when it was a dance/disco song. He sounded nice, but I don’t think he pulled off the song, and of course, he had the “eye” thing going on.

Randy
I don’t really get originality, it was aight

Paula
Everything about you is "Oh My God"

Simon
Performance was akin to a ghastly waiter in a Spanish restaurant

Danja
Eh…Harry Connick, Jr. with a disco beat

Carrie Underwood
MacArthur Park Donna Summer

She started off horribly, but she began to pick up. Country singers should NEVER do disco music. She sounds like she is singing to different music in her head. Her voice doesn’t flow with the music at all. She seems like she is reading the words from a teleprompter. She can hold a note though.

Randy
Welcome to the Dawg pound, that was beautiful, excellent vocal.

Paul
Wow on that last note. Bravo Bravo Bravo

Simon
She sang well, but she looked like Barbie meets the Stepford Wives

Danja
Did they hear something I didn’t hear? Maybe I have water in my ears from my shower.

Scott Savol

Everlasting Love Carl Carlton

He is so stiff. Scott has a nice voice and I cant believe he made it this far. But he cant perform. Oooh what was THAT note? Yuck. Ok anyway, Scott doesn’t have stage presence at all. He is a hobo, plain and simple.

Randy
I aint had no problems with it dude, it was hot.

Paula
*Gibberish*

Simon
You are ordinary guy who is doing quite well. Ordinary guys can get up at a karaoke bar and entertain an audience.

Danja
He’ll be singing hooks for Superstars of Crunk Vol. 20

Anthony Federov
Don’t Take Away The Music

He should never dance. His vocals were crisp and on point. He fits right in with this era, which isn’t good because he is young. He sounds like he is on a cruise ship.

Randy

Paula
You picked the right song, this song was soothing.

Simon
It was pleasant, safe, and a little insipid

Danja
Clay Aiken Part Deux

Vonzelle Solomon

Im Every Woman Chaka khan

Eagerly waiting for her to rip this song. With Nadia gone, my hope lies in Vonzelle. She, to me, is the best overall performer on this show, vocally, energy, stage presence, etc. And yes, she is singing the hell out of this song.

Randy
Yo man, I’m telling you, you worked it out tonight

Paula
I love you Vonzelle, you rocked the house. Best performance so far

Simon
Your personality can carry a song like that

Danja
She should win, but she will suffer from Latoya London syndrome—she is great, but no one cares.

Anwar Robinson
September EWF

He is slightly behind the beat. The background singers are more appealing. He s boring me. Yo, I know he is out and gay and stuff, but he is REALLY gay tonight.

Randy
Great good good dude it was good

Paula
This was awesome.

Simon
I don’t think it was a winning performance

Danja
“I wanna live forever!!! I wanna learn how to fly—high!!!”

Bo Bice
Vehicle Ides of March

Bo sounds the same every time he sings. I mean he puts a nice Eddie Vedder-ish spin on this song, but dang, he sounds the SAME every time.

Randy
Yo man,here we go. Bo Bice is definitely back, America

Paula
You’ve just proven the competition is back on

Simon
This was the only authentically good performance in the 7 weeks.

Real Talk

Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
My baby left me
Left me sad and blue
And I didnt know what to do
Without my baby baby baby baby
But then I met his best friend
And he took me to his house
And I said, I said, I said
"Put it in ya mouth"

Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
I promise you, I do NOT make these conversations up!!


Ms. Funny Beyotch: i'm in the mood to send [him] an email that says
Ms. FB: "i wish ya broke ass had a car so i could throw a brick through your window"
Ms. Watson: (emoticon)
Ms. FB: broke ass bitch
Ms. FB: i mean broke for no reason
Ms. Watson: LOL
Ms. Watson: none
Ms. FB: he didn't have a sink michelle
Ms. FB: a sink
Ms. FB: even log cabins had kitchen sinks michelle
Ms. FB: i mean like
Ms. FB: abe lincoln log cabins
Ms. FB: THERE WERE SINKS THERE
Ms. FB: and Mr. Lothario
Ms. FB: getting pussy by the truckload
Ms. FB: didn't have a sink
Ms. FB: with all the sticking and moving he was evidently doing, he should have had a bathing moat around his house
Ms. FB: funky bastard
Ms. Watson: [girl]
Ms. Watson: please
Ms. Watson: im eating
Ms. Watson: u got me choking
Ms. Watson: u running my eyeliner
Ms. FB: (emoticon)
Ms. FB: i think i'm beyond being sad and upset about the situation with him
Ms. Watson: im over here in tears
Ms. FB: i had a very nice time with an extremely nice brother
Ms. Watson: i cant see the screen
Ms. Watson: lolllllllllll
Ms. FB: and because of his little dicked no-sink-having-broke-ass
Ms. FB: i'm tense because "what if he does a [him]?"
Ms. FB: that's bullshit
Ms. FB: so therefore
Ms. FB: he gets no love
Ms. FB: i planned to send him the pics
Ms. FB: then i was like, let me 86 this syphillis candidate from my life
Ms. FB: for real
Ms. Watson: LOL


Danjaruz Haiku:
These fools aint really shit
Why do they come at us
With this stupidness?

Funny shit

Danjaruz Depiction:


*refresh to watch it again and again, trust me, you will want to*

Ok so imagine that I'm pointing a digital camera at my friends and the think I'm going to take a still photo. Unbeknownst to them, I am recording them. Then I tell them, and you see how negroes act when they find out they are being filmed. LOL

OMG this shit cracks me up for real.

They had never been on a NYC train or at a train station.

Mel, El, thanks for the laughs.

6 Degrees of Black Romantic Comedies (BRC)

Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
We go round and round and round
Cuz what we looking for, still isn't found

Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
Ok, if you know me, you know I love cinema and I'm a cinema snob. I admit it. Blame Donald Bogle for having a really great class and being a really great guy to talk about movies. *Note to self, set up venting session/lunch with Bogle soon!!* Ever since I have experienced his knowledge and expertise, and accute insight, I have not watched movies, particularly "black" movies, the same.

"Black Movies", for definition purposes, refers to movies that have either 1)90% Black cast, 2)Black director and at least 50% black cast, 3)Black director, producer, and/or theme related to some aspect of Black history, life, community, etc.


I love to support Black cinema. If we don't support, then who will? However, I know that money is the best way to show support and approval, so I am quite careful when it comes to deciding which movies I am going to support.

What I look for when choosing a Black Movie to see:
Title: If the title is discouraging, I don't give further consideration.
***Examples: Soul Plane, My Baby's Daddy

Actors: This can be tricky because 1) I, like Samuel Jackson, hate seeing most unskilled rappers or hip-hop artists in movies when it is clear they are there to draw an audience. However, 2)there are some people who have been a)surprising in their roles, b)some people who are actually talented actors, or 3)some people whose presence in the movie was accurately cast and they needed to be there. The other side of this is seeing the name of a revered actor/actress and being excited, only to realize that their role sucked, they sucked in their role, or the movie was so shitty that their presence offered no redemption.
***Examples: 1)Ja rule 2)a.Ice Cube b.Mos Def 3)DMX

Actors Pt. 2: Repetition of Actors/Actresses can kill a movie for me, but this is the point of this post so I will get to that later.

Storyline: Recycled plots kill me, and unfortunately, the majority of Black Movies that come out these days are just that- recycled storylines. I look for movies that are "different", maybe period pieces, biographies, etc. Romantic comedies kill me. And now ladies and gentlemen, I present:

6 Degrees of Black Romantic Comedies (BRC)

Im taking the Sanaa Lathan approach on this one. Why Ms. Lathan? Well, before those of you who love her get on me and start all the "bet nobody not talk bout Ms. Lathan!!", let me say, that for a Yale-trained actress, while she has great potential, she has fallen into the BRC trap. She is the Kevin Bacon of BRC. We can examine so many movies just by using her as a point of referrence.


"Life"- Ms. Lathan plays "Daisy" a woman in love with a man who is sentenced to life in jail. While her man is in jail, she once visits him for a conjugal visit, after a jailhouse marriage, but then ends up with his kin, who is free and well-to-do.
Co-stars include Lisa Nicole Carson who was in "Love Jones" and "Jason's Lyric" which are, arguably, the movies that sparked this whole neo-BRC movement. They were not as formulaic, but they are the foremothers.


"Blade"- Ms. Lathan plays "Vanessa", Blade's mother, who was turned into a vampire. She is paramour to a vampire. Not the man you want to take home to daddy.
Co-stars include Wesley Snipes who later goes on to star with Ms. Lathan in another BRC classic, "Disappearing Acts". This movie also starred Regina Hall, who was in "Malibu's Most Wanted" with Blair Underwood, who was in "Set It Off" with Vivica A. Fox, [who was in "Soul Food" with Nia Long who was in "Love Jones", the foremother of the BMC movement], and Jada Pinkett Smith [who was in "Jason's Lyric", foremother of the BRC movement]


"Catfish In Blackbean Sauce"- Ms. Lathan plays "Nina", a woman in love with a Vietnamese man who is dealing with an identity crisis, as he was raised by a Black family and is about to be reunited with his Vietnamese birth mother. Nina gets lost in the confusion and has to deal with her man ignoring her, pushing her aside, etc.
Co-stars include Mary Alice, who was in the "Inkwell" with Lorenz Tate, who was in "Love Jones", foremother of the BRC movement.


"The Wood"- Ms. Lathan plays "Alicia", the narrator's first sweetheart. Of course, Alicia has had to deal with Mike, the narrator, not being completely "there", as he was out and about either trying to be a player or trying to figure out this "love" thing. While not a major focus in the movie, her character is not very different from the others Ms. Lathan plays. Loves a man who has issues loving her back until the end.
Co-stars include Taye Diggs, who will later star in some other movies with Ms. Lathan, which we will get to. He was also in "How Stella Got Her Groove Back", which co-starred Regina King, who co-starred in "Ray" with Larenz Tate, who was in "Love Jones", foremother of the BRC movement. Also stars Omar Epps, who also plays her love interest in a later movie "Love & Basketball".


"The Best Man"- Ms. Lathan plays "Robin", a woman in love with a man who is infatuated with a past love, and who slept with his best friend's girlfriend back in college. He spends most of his weekend trying to link up with this past crush, trying to see if there is any spark left, all while Robin is at home, loving his conflicted ass. She has to then come face-to-face with ex-flame and put on a strong act, while realizing the man she loves is at the center of a lot of drama for a number of people.
Co-stars Taye Diggs, again, as her love interest, as well as Nia Long, who was in "Love Jones", foremother of the BRC movement.


"Love & Basketball"- Ms. Lathan plays "Monica Wright", a woman in love with basketball as much as she is in love with her best friend from childhood. He struggles to be the best player he can be, as does she, and at some point their relationship falls apart. He finds a new woman, and Monica still loves him from overseas, watching his relationship grow with someone else. Eventually, he pays attention to her and realzies she has been there all along, loving him, like a good Sanaa Lathan character.
Co-stars Omar Epps, who played her love interest in "The Wood", Boris Kudjoe, who plays a love interest in a later movie "Brown Sugar", and Gabrielle Union, who stars with Morris Chestnut in "Breakin All The Rules", he, who was in "The Best Man" with Nia Long who was in "Love Jones", foremother of the BRC movement.


"Disappearing Acts"- Ms. Lathan plays "Zora", a woman in love with a man struggling with his identity as a man, a black man, a financially struggling black man, etc. She tries to love him, support him, ultimately sacrificing parts of herself for him while he figures out what he wants and how he needs to be for her.
Co-stars include Wesley Snipes, with whom she co-starred in "Blade". Also co-stars Regina Hall, who was in "Malibu's Most Wanted" with Blair Underwood, who was in "Set It Off" with Vivica A. Fox, [who was in "Soul Food" with Nia Long who was in "Love Jones", the foremother of the BMC movement], and Jada Pinkett Smith [who was in "Jason's Lyric", foremother of the BRC movement]


"Brown Sugar"- Ms. Lathan plays "Sidney", a woman in love with hip-hop music as much as she is with her childhood best friend. She loves him and watches him marry another woman, watches their relationship fail, and waits for him to realize that he loves her and comes to his senses and makes thing work for them.
Co-stars include Taye Diggs, with whom she co-starred in "The Best Man" which co-starred Nia Long, who was in "Love Jones", foremother of the BRC movement. It also co-starrs Boris Kudjoe with whom she was in "The Wood", which starred Richard T. Jones, who co-starred in "What's Love Got To Do With It", which starred Laurence Fishbourne, who was also in "Boyz In The Hood" which co-starred Nia Long, who was in "Love Jones", foremother of the BRC Movement. Also co-stars Mos Def who was in "Bamboozled" with Jada Pinkett Smith, who was in "Jason's Lyric", foremother of the BRC movement.

(honorable mention)
"Out of Time"- Ms. Lathan plays Ann, a cheating, conniving woman who traps a man into a plot involving money and intrigue.
Co-stars include Denzel Washington, who was in "The Bone Collector" with Queen Latifah, who was in "Set It Off" with Jada Pinkett Smith, who was in "Jason's Lyric", foremother of the BRC movement.

So basically, Sanaa Lathan has played some characters who are similar, almost painfully so. Yes, I know she was in Alien V Predator, and she was on Broadway (which is where she belongs if you ask me), but 75% of her flicks have been the same tired BRCs, same plots, same actors, predictable endings, predictable soundtracks, shallow characters, etc. But it isn't her fault because these movies are written this way, and you all love them, consume them, and demand nothing more from people. If I wanted to write a movie right now about Black people, with the hopes of making a lot of money, I would know exactly what to write. I know exactly what you Eric Jerome Dickey slaves love to see on film.

Naw, I'm not giving my money to these flicks because they are terrible and I am tired of them. I support Black cinema, GOOD black cinema. The more I give my money to these projects, the more I am showing approval of these weak stories, weak acting, and intelligence insults.

But hey, that is just me.


BRC staples:
Sanaa Lathan
Morris Chestnut: The Inkwell, The Best Man, The Brothers, Two Can play That Game, Breakin' All The Rules
Taye Diggs: How Stella Got Her Groove Back, The Wood, The Best Man, Brown Sugar
Omar Epps: The Wood, Love & Basketball
Nia Long: Love Jones, The Best Man, Hav Plenty, Soul Food
Terrence Howard: The Best Man, Love Beat The Hell Out Of Me, Love Chronicles
Monica Calhoun:Sprung, The Best Man, Love & Basketball, Love Chronicles
Tamala Jones:Booty Call, The Brothers, Two Can Play That Game
Gabrielle Union:Love & Basketball, The Brothers, Two Can Play That Game, Breaking All The Rules, Deliver Us From Eva, Honeymooners
Regina Hall: Best Man, Love & Basketball, Disappearing Acts, Honeymooners
Vivia A. Fox: Booty Call, Soul Food, Two Can Play That Game

Honorable Mention:
Jamie Foxx:Booty Call, Breakin' All The Rules
Anthony Anderson: Two Can Play That Game, Barbershop, My Baby's Daddy

Working on It

Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
If I had to do it all again
I wouldn’t take away the rain
Cuz I know it made me who I am
If I had to do it all again
I’ve learn so much from my mistakes
That’s how I know he is watching me

Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
Why do I expose yall to the shit that goes on in my life? I mean, I don't know 95% of the people who read this here blog, but then again, I didn't ask yall to read it lol. Im just venting, expressing, releasing, and growing. Yall are watching the progress.

See, I been burned. Burned. Scarred. Destroyed. Broken. By so many people, for the majority ot my life. I have abandonment issues. I have trust issues. I have love issues. I have man issues. I have "me" issues. But like someone said to me recently, "Who doesnt?" Another friend of mine said something to the effect of, "It is ok for people to bring baggage to a relationship, so long as you can carry your own, because I have my hands full of my own". Agreed. I think it is unrealistic to expect people will be baggage-less or issue-free, and if men judged me just because of my past, I'd REALLY be alone for the rest of my life.

I think the key is opening up, being real about your experiences, understanding that they made you who you were, and deal with it...

Or, going on a Dick-N-Dinner tour and saying "Fuck It, Imma do whatever I want to do, with whomever, forget the rest, I'm doing for self"

Unfortunately, I care too much. I'm working on that though. Nowadays, things just roll off my back. Things that should really hurt me, kinda just happen and I'm like "oh well". So I'm getting better at that pesky "care" thing.

Some of you know, I was once in an abusive relationship, as I have blogged about it. Some of you even know that recently, I got involved with someone who tried to take it there. And he did, but this time I bounced... kinda. I mean I havent seen him since, and I have no intention of it, but I cannot say that I havent had communication with him since then.

Just a peek:

**** (12:03:09 AM): happy belated birthday .
**** (12:03:33 AM): michelle cmere give me hug
danjaruznegress (12:03:40 AM): naw im good
**** (12:03:44 AM): hmph
**** (12:03:52 AM): so what did u do to celebrate?
danjaruznegress (12:04:00 AM): a lot
danjaruznegress (12:04:02 AM): check the blog
**** (12:04:23 AM): damn when u get cold u get cold for real
**** (12:05:23 AM): still single or u seeing someone?
danjaruznegress (12:05:35 AM): eternally single
**** (12:05:48 AM): i doubt that shyt
danjaruznegress (12:05:53 AM): then why bother asking
**** (12:06:19 AM): dont get smart wit me
danjaruznegress (12:07:37 AM): whateva
**** (12:08:28 AM): if my azz wasnt tired id drive up there right now
danjaruznegress (12:08:36 AM): and do what?
**** (12:09:08 AM): have u feed me grapes and rub me down
danjaruznegress (12:09:22 AM): that is with the assumption id let u in
**** (12:09:43 AM): yeah u right about that
**** (12:09:50 AM): hopefully u would though
danjaruznegress (12:10:17 AM):
**** (12:10:35 AM): Hmmm well maybe u wouldnt
**** (12:10:50 AM): i cant blame u
danjaruznegress (12:10:55 AM): goo
danjaruznegress (12:10:56 AM): d
**** (12:12:24 AM): u went to the ***** party a few weeks ago and the ****** trip?
danjaruznegress (12:12:33 AM): no
**** (12:12:48 AM): been playing the crib lately?
danjaruznegress (12:12:58 AM): yup
**** (12:13:10 AM): what did u cook tonite?
danjaruznegress (12:13:15 AM): nothing
**** (12:13:29 AM): what did u eat?
danjaruznegress (12:13:39 AM): food at the knicks game, had sky bo tix
**** (12:14:04 AM): up in the sky box huh ..who u went there wit?
danjaruznegress (12:14:10 AM): *blank stare*
**** (12:14:16 AM): matter of fact i dont wanna know
danjaruznegress (12:14:32 AM): good
**** (12:16:48 AM): michelle i miss u and im gonna leave it at that
danjaruznegress (12:16:52 AM): ok
**** (12:17:21 AM): cold azz bitch
**** (12:18:38 AM): (emoticon)
danjaruznegress (12:19:33 AM): yeah ok
danjaruznegress (12:19:35 AM): u done?
**** (12:19:50 AM): nope i doubt ill ever be done
**** (12:19:53 AM): wit u
danjaruznegress (12:20:00 AM): should have thought of that when u slapped me
**** (12:20:52 AM): didnt i apologize for that
danjaruznegress (12:21:04 AM): yeah and my first love apologized too
danjaruznegress (12:21:06 AM): a lot of times
danjaruznegress (12:21:13 AM): after he pinched off my skin
danjaruznegress (12:21:18 AM): after he busted my lip
danjaruznegress (12:21:25 AM): after he mushed my face into a rug
danjaruznegress (12:21:41 AM): after he made me have sex with him when i didnt want to
danjaruznegress (12:21:57 AM): u apologize but then call me a bitch
danjaruznegress (12:21:58 AM): yea
danjaruznegress (12:21:59 AM): ok
danjaruznegress (12:22:07 AM): you have a good evening ******
**** (12:22:50 AM): u still my baby
danjaruznegress (12:23:01 AM): no im not
**** (12:23:02 AM): i dont give a fuck ..u still my baby
danjaruznegress (12:23:39 AM): whatever
**** (12:24:12 AM): yes u are deny it all u want we have a connection regardless
danjaruznegress (12:25:48 AM): goodbye ******
**** (12:27:47 AM): never goodbye always ill see u later
danjaruznegress (12:29:11 AM): no u wont
**** (12:29:22 AM): its like that michelle
danjaruznegress (12:29:35 AM): u made it that way
**** (12:29:35 AM): u sure u wanna do it like that?
danjaruznegress (12:29:52 AM): yup
**** (12:30:46 AM): ok..ill respect ya wishes
danjaruznegress (12:30:52 AM): finally
**** (12:31:12 AM): i hope u change ya mind though ..ill fall back.... u be good
danjaruznegress (12:31:32 AM): cya
danjaruznegress (12:31:40 AM): naw
danjaruznegress (12:32:06 AM): i wont cya

I'm working on things. I know that in order to begin and expect to move forward in any relationship, I have to get better at understanding, loving, and respecting myself. Yes, I can make people laugh, and yes I cna be pretty entertaining. But I know that I do a lot of this to keep people at arm's length. *Danja gets sensative* I want a lot out of life. I want to travel, see the world, join the Peace Corps, be an Ambassador of Peace or Goodwill or whatever, be a mother, and even possibly be a wife. I still get skittish when I mention "wife", which is why I usually only focus on the mother thing. I hate that I have this fear inside of me. But it's like, how many time do I have to touch a fire before I realize that I will STILL get burned the next time. I am trying to not have a defeatist attitude, and I try to approach every new stage in life with new and clear optimism, but it is always easier said than done.

I'll be aight I guess. Summertime is here. I'm bout to get heavy back into working out. I'm doing some traveling this summer (Chicago will NEVER be the same LOL). I'm still tossing up the Graduate School idea. A friend asked me today about it and I had to admit that it hasn't been at the forefront of my mind. I don't know what to do next actually. *end sensativity*

I need to not be sitting at home bored and blogging though. Y'all getting too much Danja.

Peace,
D


Danjaruz Haiku:
Piece by piece I build
My life is but a puzzle
Coming together

Can I Get A Witness?

"Was out with the Tall Wonder Friday night, yep I still love women, but they need to get off that shit! Not her or her clique (ofcourse) but the stereotypically catty bitches with the nasty looks and shit all night. how old are we??"

written April 11, 2005... 3 days after April 9, 2005, night of the JRG party

"Tall Wonder"= Danja

Author= That Harlem Slim Cat,a very good friend of mine who came out to this set for the first time, just to celebrate with his homegirl.


Danja: i know the tall wonder is me lol
Danja: but what that got to do with women being on shit ?
THSC: that eye cutting shit that was coming at you all night
Danja: oh
Danja: you saw that?
Danja: lol
THSC: yall can be sterotypically catty
....
....
THSC: nah, got some myself that were smiles before they noticed that I was "with" you
THSC: for 3 seconds it was funny
THSC: then it was outright pathetic
THSC: how old are we all???

see, I don't make this shit up people. It's not just in MY head. I'm not some conceited snot who imagines that people are staring at me or rolling eyes, bumping into me, trying to trip me, "accidently" spilling drinks on me. I grin and bear it cuz I'm a pacifist. Oh, and I've traveled to Riker's Island... I don't think I'll look that great in prison-issue coveralls. Nah, not a good look for the kid.

And people still ask... "Why arent you coming to the party?"

The Haunting of Emile Griffith

The New York Times > Opinion > Op-Ed Columnist: The Haunting of Emile Griffith

This New York Times article talks about Emile Griffith, whose boxing experience sparked enough interest to be made into a movie, Ring of Fire, airing

He was a black boxer who pulverized his latino opponent one night. He did it, primarily because he was tired of people questioning his sexuality and making rude comments and accusations.

He took his anger out on a man who called him a "maricon".

Bet ya never heard of him, huh?

Another glimpse

Yahoo's Review of the Film

Remembering Bobby Hutton

Danjaruz Depiction:


Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
You darn right we respect non-violence
But to sit and watch ourselves be slaughtered
Like our brother
We must defend ourselves
Like Malcolm X said
By any means necessary
-Bobbly Seale, 1968

Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
Not many people know who Bobby Hutton is. Even those who have heard about him, usually don't care enough to remember what happened to him.

Well, I have not forgotten.

On April 6 1968, 17-year-old Bobby Hutton was gunned down by Oakland police. While riding in a car with other Black Panthers, including Eldridge Cleaver and David Hilliard, the police ambushed the cars they rode in. The men ran into an abandoned building that was fired upon for over an hour. They eventually threw in tear gas into the building where Cleaver and Hutton were. Cleaver was shot in the leg so Hutton said he would go first. He left the building, hands clearly in the air in the universal symbol of surrender. They pumped 12 shots into his young body.

His funeral was April 12, 1968 and over 2000 people attended.

Click here for testimonials regarding the shooting

Terry Cotton (BPP Member) Remembers the day

Another Account of the Day Bobby Died


Bobby Seale speaks at Bobby Hutton's Memorial


Danjaruz Haiku:
Died in the struggle
A martyr for our civil rights
Would YOU die for US?

Feeling the urge to run

Danjaruz Demeanor:

Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
"Everything is cool when love is all brand new
Cause you're learning me and I'm learning you
Its cool when love is all brand new
Cause you're learning me and I'm learning you"
-Musiq "Newness"

"All of this is new to me
And this aint what I'm used to, see"
-T. Kweli "Never Been In Love"

"When we get to know each other
And we're both feeling much stronger
Then let's try to talk it over
Let's wait awhile longer"
-J. Jackson "Let's Wait A While"

"Can we talk for a minute,
Girl I want to know your name"
-T. Campbell "Can We Talk"

Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
he likes the way I smell
he took me on a real date
he performed comedy routines for me in the park, at night
he makes me laugh
he is punctual
his eyes reflect the passion of his thoughts
he says im sexy, and how I look will never change that
he says he wants to please me because I deserve it
he walked me to my door, and didnt try to come in
he's been to australia
he kissed me like I am someone special, delicate and fragile
he likes the way I walk
he makes up excuses to touch me and hold my hand, and he does it in public
he likes my smile, so he gives me reasons to show it
he gave me his gloves because my hands were cold
he scares me...


Danjaruz Haiku:
I met a nice man
I think we can be great friends
Scared of something more

Saturday Night Live... on Weeeeeeeed

Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
They smile in your face
All the time they want to take your place
They're backstabbers

Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes: So I was out with a friend this evening who told me a HILARIOUS idea for a Saturday Night Live sketch.

So there are a few men wearing masks of O.J. Simpson's face right. And they are doing a little routine and dancing, carrying knives in their hands right. And they are like making a music video, acting things out right. And the song we hear and they are making a video to is "Backstabbers" by who else.... The O'Jays.

Ok and then he told me about a funny ass idea for a Puff Daddy commercial. He was like, wouldnt it be great to have Puffy riding around in a big truck, singing "Its All About The Entenmann's, baby" and when he hands out the cakes he is like "take that, take that"

LOL

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahhaaaa

ok whew *wipes tear*
that shit was funny


ok so maybe you had to be there.

Thank You, Please Drive Through

Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
Big baby Jesus, I can't wait
N---a fuck that, I can't wait...
...
...
...You couldnt even move, don't know how to groove
Bitch take off ya shoes and stink up the room
Muthafucka you knew, fucking with the dude
Dirt dog dont mean to be rude...
-ODB aka Big Baby Jesus "I Can't Wait"

Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
Yeah, that was kind of random, but damn don't we just love ODB? I mean dang. lol


Why do people sign onto instant messenger services only to put up a status or away message that reads "Do NOT I.M. me" or "Not in the mood to chat right now"? Why the fuck did you even sign on you stupid moron? If you really don't want anyone to i.m. you, stay your ass off of the instant messenger service. What you REALLY want is the attention they are starving for and for people to ask "Awwww What's wrong?" or "You mean me too?"...
Thank you, please drive through

Who on God's green earth came up with the concept of "overstand"? No, really. Someone leave a comment and explain this shit to me. Please. Ok, I used to wear locs. I used to be a frontline tree-hugging nappy protestor for the afroman's cause. I still have some black power-isms in me. But do people who say "overstand" really think they are making any sense? Do they think they are bucking the system by saying this? It is like feminists spelling womAn and womYn. Ok hairy pit, stop it. I mean really, what the hell does "overstand" mean or represent, aside from the fact that some folks are a few bean pies short of a worthy cause...
Thank you, please drive through

If you call me, and I tell you that I love you but I'm watching one of my favorite shows and that I will call you back, why do you keep talking? I mean c'mon now. I said I will call you back, and you keep talking. Why do you make me fight the urge to scream "shut the fuck up!!" cuz CSI is doing their instrumental scene. That is KEY evidence you are distracting me from. Or when Lucas and Peyton cannot figure out if they are going to kiss or kill each other. This is SERIOUS. Do not call me during a reward challenge on Survivor, ok? I said I will call you back gatdammit...

Thank you, please drive through

Crackheads can read. Crackheads have some degree of reading comprehension skills. I know this. I've seen examples of this. I have a sign on my office door that reads "We are NO longer accepting NEW participants for our study. Thank you for your interest. Peace, Research Team". Why do crackheads knock on my door and when I say come in, the crack the door, stand in front of it and read "We..are no..longer...accepting..new participants..for our study..." then look at me and ask "Say sweetheart, how can I be a part of this study? How much does it pay? What is it about?" ...
Thank you, please drive through

I play my iPod at work now, and before this, I played my CDs. I often play N.E.R.D. because they fucking rock. Well, I work with some folks who aren't as "diverse" in their musical tastes. Some folks are content keeping Robert "Chester Child Molestor" Kelly and Fantasia "Baby Mama" Barrino on repeat. Fine. Ok. One cat was like "Yo I cant fuck with that white music shit man, yo why you always playing that?" So I said to him, "No one in this group is white, what are you talking about?" He was like "you know what I'm saying, man, that fucking rock and roll shit" I simply rolled my eyes and said, "There is a school of thought that believe wholeheartedly that BLACK people created Rock-n-Roll" He was like "whatever man that white shit is wack"...
Thank you, please drive through

Coworkers telling me I should have left the $12.99 Black Man Magnet in my head because it makes me look sexier...
Thank you, please drive through

I appreciate the love on the Dick-N-Dinner Tour concept. Balls-N-Breakfast, Licking-N-Lunch, all of that, I'm loving how the shit is literally spreading nation-wide. Ladies, I am definitely feeling the release from social bondage and the script-flipping. However, use the terms with caution. Please do not do chickenheaded (yes...yes I did say 'headED')things in the name of D & D. Please. Getting dinner from a man is one thing. Getting dinner and dick from an involved/married man is another. Getting knocked up or burned is anti-sexy. No Lady Saw-isms round these parts...
Thank you, please drive through

Hair or There

Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
can I just say that i dont know how women wear weaves for extended periods of time

ok i have a draw string ponytail in my head, right. not even anything sewn or glued in.

how the hell do women do this????

this hurt, itches, everything!!! im like Kanye screaming "Jesus..Save me!!"

But how about I dont like the attention I am getting with this shit. I mean some poor horse is bare-assed right now so I can fling this thing around, and people are looking at me so differently.

Ok, so Friday, I had a lot of dudes, who have tended to lust over me in the past come up to me like "Oh wow I LOVEEEE the new look" or "You should do this more often"

This coming from the same fuckahs who talk about how much they love "natural" women and how they love my afro and think it is so beautiful. But now I get a $12.99 piece of weave and all of a sudden, fools have stars in their eyes? What the fuck part of the game is this?

See, this is the shit that will make me just rebel and go to the other end of the spectrum, on some erykah badu/india.arie ish and just cut the shit completely off. Be like "How ya like me now bitchessss!!"

Fuckahs.

Dumb fucks!!

that makes me SO mad, that even in this day and age, 2005, 140 years after "technical" release from slavery, Black folks are still mentally shackled. This shit is NOT real. No bone straight hair would EVER grow from my head. Ever. I have naps. Kinks. Beediebees. I got a kitchen at the base of my neck. When my hair gets wet, it shrivels up quicker than a dick in a cold pool.

Why do brothas still fall for this long, straight hair shit like it is the most beautifulest thing in this world? I mean no disrespect to the sistas with long hair, im not mad. I don't like relaxers, so dont expect me to go that route. I dont need to have straight hair. I put this stuff in my hair to try something new, and see what all of the hoopla was about.

Walking down the street, I get a diff type of attention from men than I do when I have my hair in a fro or twists. With the natural look, I get a lot of "Peace, Queen"s or "Good evening, beautiful" or just generally more respectful approaches. So far, from most dudes I have been getting the "Sup Ma"s followed with a head nod. Instead of older gentlemen looking at me, I am getting these young knuckleheads looking at me, thug fools, hood cats. I am not ya "ma" or ya "baby' or ya "boo".

Fuckahs.

Dumb fucks!

This long, fake hair is a Black Man Magnet, it seems. I get a LOT of white boy "love" when I rock my fro, especially if Im riding the train downtown or walking around in the Village or even midtown. White men in their 20s and 30s compliment me or try to talk to me. Of course Id never poison my body with swine, but it is interesting.

When I had locs, I got the bean pie eating R.I.F. fresh out of jail Nation of Islam converts who wanted to a salaam my walaikum. "Say sista, peace to the Gods and Earths, my queen you beautiful nubian princess queen can i please conversate [cringeeeee] with you about the plight of the black man and how about you come serve me and make me some beanie babies?"

Fuckahs.

Dumb fucks!!

What is it about hair? I mean really though. I stopped perming my hair because my mom finally gave me autonomy over my own hair, so in high school I cut it all off and started over. I was natural for about 2 years before I loc'd up. I had locs all through college and when they reached almos to my butt, I cut them off. I felt this urge to comb my hair and the locs weren't helping the situation. I wanted to be free, since I was moving on to bigger and better things in my life. This was about 19 months ago. Since then I have been cultivating my hair, wearing fros, twists, cornrows, sometimes microbraids to give my hair some rest from the elements and the tension of combing and brushing. I experimented with this weave thing because I wanted a "sleeker" look to go with the dress I had planned for one of my parties. Cool. Lemme get the cheap shit that I can just tack on. Even the gay men at my job are giving me all kinds of "work it girl" "do it diva" and fingersnaps at the sight of this nonsense.

Fuckahs.

Dumb fucks!

I am an advocate of natural hair. I think black women should leave their tecture alone. I don't have much of a problem with color, cuz I got some punk in me and I think color fucking rocks. But I think that chemically altering it is a bit much. Most of my female friends have relaxers and Im like cool, do you. I dont judge. But as for me and mine, we won't. Ive had cats tell me they love the natural hair, that its so "beautiful" and such... but their heads turn more for the brawds with perms and weaves. Hmph. Save that shit for someone who cannot spot Bullshit a mile away.

I realized this weekend that society has not changed much. For black women, a lot of pur physical beauty lies in our hairstyle for some reason. Black men, for the most part, like long hair. And most of those guys prefer it straight. I could go into the diatribe about how this reflects the programming we all suffer from that tells us "That which is most like white, is right" but everyone would deny it. Sistas burning their hair to make it straight will deny that they do it to look white, but they KNOW that is where the entire process originated.

Thats like 50 years from now, our kids and grandkids burn mini crosses cuz they think it looks "cool", not because of the symbolism it represents. Thats like Black people calling each other "niggas" because well with an "a" and hell... its different than with an "er". Thats like gay people calling each other faggots. That's like Fraternities and Sororities encouraging folks to brand themselves. People accepting things as "OK" when the origin is not "OK".

Fuck it.

Im nappy dammit. I will continue to be nappy and have nappy children who will be raised to love being nappy. I dont know if I can handle this weave thing.

Danjaruz Haiku:
Happy and Nappy
This is the only way I
Can show my beauty

Winding Down

Danjaruz Depictions:

One of the few times I sat down, Friday night.


Proof that I do have a home lol

Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
It was a celebration, for REAL. lol
I'm so tired, it isnt even funny. I'm just glad I took today off because I would be NO good at work right now.

First, here is a link to my Birthday Dinner Pics

Here is a link to the pics from Friday night's Party at JRG Fashion Cafe in Brooklyn

This is the link for the After-Dinner Pool gathering at Slate NY, an "upscale" pool hall/bar/lounge in NYC.

Finally here are some random pics of my friends and I from this weekend.

Now that you've enjoyed the pictures, I'll just give a brief synopsis of the weekend's events.



Friday night was fun. I enjoyed my friends, the men enjoyed my dress, my friends enjoyed to music and booze, all was good. I had two friends from high school come out, some people I have worked with, some net buddies, and others dear friends come celebrate, drink, dance, take pics, and wild out with. Aside from the occasional glare or eye roll from a few of the "females" (I use that word lightly), everyone pretty much showed me lots of love for my birthday. Good times, good times.


My friends, Dawn and Thomas

Saturday was cool. Took my friends, M&M, on a short walking tour of Harlem. We ended up at Manna's for Lunch, which they loved. They were quite surprised by the cafeteria style service of soul food. It was great though.


My Cake

Saturday night was wonderful. I gathered about 25 family members and friends together at Dallas BBQ and we all had a wonderful dinner. It was interesting towards the end, but I was still "high" because I was so happy to have so many people that I care about in one spot. Well, check Blak's thauts on the dinner, they are quite interesting to say the least.


My friend, Eleanor, and I at my birthday dinner on Saturday

I suck at pool. This is why I was taking all of these pictures lol. But I had fun at Slate. Got to link up with one of my best friends, Marcela.



Her birthday is April 4 and we were college roommates for 2 years.

Here is Q showing off lol



Overall, this was definitely one of the best times I have had in my life. I got my crispy white K-Swiss Sneakers, my memory card for my digital camera, and my iPod, as was listed in the Birthday Registry. Still waiting on that vibrator T, lol.

Thanks to everyone who was with me through it all. Check the pics, I am sure you will be able to see how it all went down.

26 degrees of Danja

Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
Aint nobody dope as me, Im just so fresh, so clean
Dont't you think I'm so sexy, I'm just so fresh, so clean
Aint nobody dope as me, Im just so fresh, so clean
I love when you stare at me, I'm just so fresh, so clean

Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
Independence
I came into this world alone, I was raised in the life of an only child. Moved out at 14, been trying to take care of myself ever since. It isnt that I do not need other people, because I do, in so many ways. I am simply able to do most things by myself, and I am used to this way of being. My father said the first complete sentence he heard me say was "I do it, daddy" as I stumbled over to the stereo to turn on the radio. I can do most things myself, so I DO most things myself.

Generosity
If I have $1 to my name, and you need $1, it is yours. This has led me to be in some tough spots, but I have always been a giver. Mostly because I was never used to receiving anything.

Loyalty
I stand by people I care about, as long as they do not cross me. Im loyal to a fault. I'm not one of those people who has a friend in a scuffle and says "well the other person didnt do anything to me". No, you mess with my friend, you mess with me, and I'm jumping in blind, arms swinging, no questions asked.

Fear
A lot of people say they fear nothing. I used to be that way. I fear not living up to my fullest potential. I fear going to hell, if it indeed exists. I am 6'0 and afraid of heights and closed spaces. Fear is real. Acknowledging it means acknowledging one's weaknesses. In order to be the strongest person I can be, I have to understand my limits and face my fears.

Presence
Ive been tall since I was 12. Started getting big a few years later. I have a voice that can be loud and booming when it wants to be. But I have been told that I need not utter a word and people will notice and be drawn to me. Eh, at least it got me some lead roles in great shows lol.

Intelligence
I'd like to think I'm intelligent, but hey, measuring one's level of intelligence is always subjective. There are people around me far more intelligent than I, in the same way I am far more intelligent than other people. I like to think, carefully consider ideas from all viewpoints, and belabour all of the possibilities. That is what I consider intelligence. Do not attempt to insult it.

Wisdom
Wisdom is gained by learning from one's experiences. Over the years, I believe I have amassed a small amount of wisdom, but I have a long way to go. I have to be able to prevent allowing the lessons I have learned from my experiences to jade my mind, cloud my vision, and limit my opportunities.

Sexiness
I think I have a little bit of that *wink*

Tolerance
The older I get the less tolerance I have. I have tolerance for abstract ideas like Gay Rights, Abortion Rights, etc. But when it comes to people walking slow in front of me or people using "conversate", I find that I have ZERO tolerance.

Indifference
While I tend to have an opinion on most subjects, I find that when it is all really said and done, I don't really care one way or another.

Contradiction
My mind changes by the minute, so I am sure I appear to be a walking contradiction. But at least I can recognize this and go with the flow.

Focus
I have none. People think I do, but I mainly do things by flying by the seat of my pants and I make it look good. I have organic reasons why I cannot focus, but aside from that, I simply cannot stick with one thing for too long. I get bored entirely too easily. People, places, jobs, everything.

Endurance
I have endured a life I would never wish on my worst enemy, but I am still here and I keep on ticking. If there is anything to be said about some "strength" people believe I possess, it is simply because I am still alive. Not much special about that.

Passion
Everything I do, I do with passion. I even type with passion lol. When I speak, think, argue, have sex, hate, love, move my hands when I talk, formulate ideas, support ideas, etc., I do it all with intense passion. It is the Aries in me!

Trust
I trust people until they give me reason not to, and I believe I am quite trustworthy. If I say I am going to do something, I am going to give my very best efforts to do it.

Resilience
As per the 'Endurance' blurb, I bounce back. Sometimes it takes longer than other times, but I always bounce back and keep moving. I can take whatever is thrown at me. It might cause me to stumble a bit, but I regain my composure...eventually.

Dedication
Ive always been dedicated to the plight of the underdog. When it comes to helping people in need, I always want to take part. I have several causes I am dedicated to. I fight, yes I do.

Understanding
Though people seem to think I am not listening or people think that folks with strong opinions arent the most understanding people, I am. Part of what makes me wise is that I possess the ability to understand all sides of an issue, whether I agree with it or not. Im often sympathetic or empathetic and people don't always know that.

Health
My health could be a lot better and it is an area of my life that does not get the energy it deserves. I promised myself to get better about that. Diabetes in one's mid-twenties is not sexy.

Adventure
I'll try anything once, for real.

Turmoil
Often find myself in situations that scream TURMOIL. I just like that word lol, it's pretty hot. Anyway, I know all about turmoil and I have seen my fair share of it.

Violence
I have experienced enough violence in my life which is why, despite my size, I'm quite the pacifist (unless Im defending a friend...see 'Loyalty'). As recently as in the past 2 months, I have had my share of violence inflicted upon me. Finally able to say "no more".

Forgiveness
It took my a decade to learn what forgiveness is all about. I have mastered the art of it. This is not to say I forget things, but I have learned how to forgive people for the things they have done to me. My hope is that people forgive me for the things I have done to them.

Creativity
I like to think I am creative. I love to write, and some say I'm kinda good at it. I am into the arts: literature, music, visual, etc. Ive never been the science-y, technical type. I use creativity to express myself. Some people get it some people don't.

Love
It took a long time to get here, but now, it is here to stay

Michelle
Simply, Beautifully, Passionately, Amazingly Michelle Benee Watson

Getting My Rage On

Danjaruz Depictions:



This is me before I leave for work the day before I turned 26.



This is me at work, when I should be working, catching sunrays in my hair.



Raaaaage, rock on with ya bad ass self!! lol.


Oh yeah, happy birthday to me. lol.

American Idol 9-to-go

So I'm a big AI fan. I decided that I am going to provide my personal insight on the competition from now until the end. If I miss a week, I was either getting my back banged out or someone knee deep in alcohol.

Scott Savol


"Dream The Impossible Dream"- Man of LaMancha

More like sing the impossible song. Scott sounded absolutely horrible. Ok, so he admitted that he doesn't know anything about musicals, and if you know about Scott, you believe with him. I love his voice and his passion, but he was bound to be caught up one of these weeks. He said his mama told him to sing this song.

Randy sez: It's aight, man, I mean it was pitchy in the beginning, dawg. Randy was being nice, telling him that he didn't really do anything special.
Paula sez: "Always listen to what your mother tells you". Paula must have had cotton in her ears.
Simon sez: It was extraordinarily ordinary.
Danja sez: Sorry Scott, while I love your voice, this wasn't your week. You are an R&B crooner, and show tunes week might be the week to show your ass the door.


Constantine Maroulis


"My Funny Valentine"-

OK he is reminding me more and more of a long-haired Harry Connick, Jr. He has been doing these ballads, steering a bit away from the rock music, and showing his versatility. I wouldnt be surprised if he wins because Randy let the cat out of the bag the other week saying, "We want to see a rocker win this competition". So it's him, Bo, or Nadia.

Randy sez: Yo man, alright so listen, keeping it most real for me. I didnt really buy the rocker thing, and I still do. You should be doing this dude, for real dude, yo dawg, for real.
Paula sez: "I admit I'm falling in love with you". Paula's wet panties have her stuttering and she can't make a coherent sentence.
Simon sez: Gives vocals a 7, and his pouting a 9.5
Danja sez: It was cool, but honestly, I prefer his rock sound.


Carrie Underwood


"Hello, Young Lovers"- The King & I

She wouldnt have a career in musical theatre because she has too much vibrato in her voice, too much "soul", too much feeling. Actors learn to keep some back because they are acting more than they are singing,and that is important. She did solid and finished quite strong, big note at the end. She is top 4 material. First heard the song 4 days ago.

Randy sez: Song was boring, he was falling asleep, but she sang it well and in tune, and brilliantly. Good job, good job.
Paula sez: "You look simply stunning, tonight". Says Carrie is a well-oiled machine with her vocals
Simon sez: Too old-fashioned. Reminds him of a 1960's detergeant commercial.
Danja sez: Song was boring, but the girl can REALLY sing. She has a strong voice and would make a GREAT country music star.


Vonzelle Solomon

"People"- Funny Girl

I think this is a wise song choice for her, because it will show her versatility. I'm a Vonzelle fan, I admit. I think she has been looked over because of the plethora of rocker folks, they are somewhat dismissive of the "R&B chic". I think each week she shows why she belongs on this show. She has such a crisp, clear voice. Anyone say a young Whitney?

Randy sez: I think a girl might actually win this year, that was brilliant
Paula sez: "You're unbelievable"
Simon sez: "It was good, it wasn't great, for some reason it left me cold" Simon is just being honest, as he says.
Danja sez: Thus far, the best performance this show. I am proud of her for doing so well every show and getting better every show. She sang that song.


Anthony _____________


"Climb Every Mountain"-Sound of Music

So he took off his glasses in a classic Clay Aiken move. Someone must have finally told him that he has to shed the nerd image. He is singing the right notes, he stays on pitch and in the right key, but it sounds like a 70s disco ballad.

Randy sez: Just keeping it real man, I did not like that. Sharp and flat all over the place
Paula sez: "It made it more of like a pop song and I enjoyed that". She of course, liked him. She likes everyone
Simon sez: "Hideous" "Everything about it was horrible"
Danja sez: I agree with Simon, he was a mess. Where was Sandman Simms?



Nikko Smith

"One Hand One Heart"-West Side Story

Who chooses a duet when singing alone? Obviously Nikko "Sisqo" Smith lol. Musicals aren't his thing either, for the same reasons as Carrie. He has too much soul in his voice, he is a singer, and gives too much to musical theatre songs. But for real though, Nikko is beginning to impress me, and he gets better every week.

Randy sez: You keep it contemporary, man. Was good, not great.
Paula sez: "You're the comeback kid" Paula's fav musical, one of her fav song. He is the true epitome of R&B.
Simon sez: Said Nikko was out of tune the first half of the song.
Danja sez: Simon wasnt completely wrong, but I liked how he blended with the background singer for the middle part and he finished strong. He represents for the male R&B crooners.



Anwar Robinson

"If Ever I would Leave You"-Camelot

Anwar, never disappointing, invoking Prince in wardrobe. Something about Anward makes my left titty itch, but I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe cuz he appears to try too hard. I don't know. Much love to him though. Whoa did anyone hear that gurgling note?? LOL damn son.

Randy sez: "Welcome back baby" Thinks he is one of the best singers and best voices.
Paula sez: "You are technically the best singer on the stage"
Simon sez: "You seemed very comfortable" Ryan cut Simon off before he could say anything else.
Danja sez:



Bo Bice


"Corner of the Sky"-Pippin

He randomly picked this song, and Im glad he said that, cuz "Pippin"? I mean I love the show but that's an odd choice. The song fits him though. Sounding very Eddie Vedder-ish. *waiting to see Jeremy somewhere*

Randy sez: He is consistantly great.
Paula sez: "You are in this competition, you are a winner, I love you"
Simon sez: It was a mess and Bo had 2 bad weeks.
Danja sez: This totally isnt Bo's genre, he is a rocker for crying out loud. I love his voice, but Constantine has more charm and appeal and will win before Bo does.



Nadia Turner


"As Long As He Need Me"- Oliver

Nadia is my favorite,just so you all know, so if my views seemed biased, don't sue me. First, the hair is gorgeous, loving the natural style. She looks gorgeous in the white dress but out of place, because Nadia is so punk. But she is showing her flexibility. I love her husky voice, it is beautiful, and right now she sounds amazing. Go Nadia!! *they are rushing her comments, no fair*


Randy sez: she had a great performance
Paula sez: "You look absolutely beautiful"
Simon sez: it was the best he'd seen her in 3 weeks.
Danja sez: Go Nadia!!!! If she doesn't make the top 4, I will forever give up on American Idol.


Best performance: Tie between Nadia and Vonzelle. The sisters had it this week. They chose great songs and delivered flawlessly.

*going to vote for Nadia from 10:30-11 when the lines are free, ill get about 50 votes in*

Getting Old

Danjaruz Demeanor:


Daily Danjaruz Deliberation:
Funny how time flies when you're having fun...

Danjaruz Disclosures, Declarations, and Diatribes:
On the eve of my 26th birthday, I sit here and think about all types of age-related things, random thoughts, silly ideas, whatever. Some things I wonder and I thought I would ask the general world, somewhat rhetorically... At what age...?

At what age...

-do you stop picking your boogers, examining them, and even giving them any serious thought?

-do you stop wearing tiaras?

-do you stop putting color/rinses in your hair?

-do you stop engaging in anal sex?

-do you stop talking about going to college or going "back to school"?

-do you give up on the video games?

-do you stop talking about how great of an athlete you were in high school/colleg and how you would have gone pro if it werent for that darn knee/ankle injury?

-do you realize that halter tops/strapless dresses(or shirts) are not the move?

-do you stop getting tattooes?

-do you start with the multivitamins with extra calcium?

-do you begin to regularly buy laxatives or stool softeners?

-does "ole skool" music become something you remember being "contemporary" music?

-do you stop trying to be freak nasty on the dancefloor and resign yourself to doing a "two step"?

-do you stop eating Fruit Loops and Apple Jacks and switch to Total and All Bran?

-do you learn how to play bridge? *bonus: ... do you join a bridge club?*

-do women stop getting acrylic nail tips with Basquiat-ish designs?

-do you stop drinking with the intention of getting drunk?

-do you stop trying to be a "playa"?

-do you back away from the basketball? (that's for my 55 year old father lol)

-do you start thinking that you should be a parent by now?

-do you start thinking that you should be married/seriously involved with someone by now?

-do you stop watching The Simpsons and/or Southpark? *bonus:...do you stop finding these shows insanely hilarious?*

-do you stop trying to find a mate on the internet by searching the chatrooms, message boards, profiles, dating sites, and discussion groups?

-do you just leave the internet "chatting" world alone...period?

-do you close your BlackPlanet page?

-do you realize you are NEVER going to win the MegaMillions or Powerball Lottery because your name isnt Jimmy and you don't own a farm?

-do you feel like a loser for not being able to afford a car? *bonus: ...do you feel like a loser for not having a driver's license?*

-do you stop being behind in your bills?

-do you stop generating bills and begin working on building good credit?

-do you stop going to hip hop concerts?

-do you stop getting jealous of other people and the things they have?

Ok, I will stop now, cuz Im at work and I need to pretend to be doing some work.


Danjaruz Haiku:
I'm getting so old
I will be 26 soon
You know you want me

lol